So I am due with our fourth boy in 11 days, and we have been struggling majorly with names this go-round. I finally feel like we are making headway on first names, but middle names are still a concern. [name_f]My[/name_f] oldest son has his father’s first name for a middle name, my middle son has his father’s middle name for his middle name, and my third son has his uncle’s name (his dad’s twin brother) as his middle name. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband has nixed his twin brother’s middle name for this one, though.
I am in favor of using DH’s father’s name, [name_m]Roger[/name_m], as a middle name mostly because I love that it honors him. He is such a strong, all-around positive presence in all of our lives. BUT, DH is worried because it ends in -er and so does our last name. I’m thinking that doesn’t matter quite so much for a middle name, but what do I know, really?
Another option is [name_m]Richard[/name_m]. DH and I both have grandfathers named [name_m]Richard[/name_m], so it would be a good honor name. BUT I really hate that [name_m]Richard[/name_m] is shortened to [name_m]Dick[/name_m] and I really don’t want anyone calling him [name_m]Dick[/name_m] or coming up with silly [name_m]Dick[/name_m] nicknames for him. I love the sound of [name_m]Richard[/name_m] itself, though.
And finally, we were considering [name_f]Allaire[/name_f], which is my mother’s maiden name. I like the idea of this kid having a name from my side of the family, and I really like the sound of [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] as a middle name. BUT DH says it is way too feminine. As a first name, I definitely agree that it is. But as a middle name, I hadn’t thought of it as being too feminine. Mind you, we are not opposed to gender-neutral names or anything at all. Our other sons’ names, for example, are [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u], [name_m]Maddux[/name_m], and [name_u]Robin[/name_u].
I am still trying to decide if any other honor names make the cut for the list, but these were the three we were most considering and also most stuck on. What do you think?
To be honest, I think all three are fine!
I don’t think it’s a problem that [name_m]Roger[/name_m] and your surname both end in -er. I don’t think [name_m]Richard[/name_m] will get [name_m]Dick[/name_m] jokes, since it’s only a middle name. And [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] sounds unisex to me, but it’s a middle name anyway so it doesn’t matter.
At the end of the day you should go for the one that’s the most meaningful to you. [name_f]Do[/name_f] your other kids’ middles honor your husband’s side of the family? If yes, I’d go for [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] to make it fair. But you should go for the option you prefer since all three are usable!
I think for a middle name, [name_m]Roger[/name_m] or [name_m]Richard[/name_m] would be fine. It’s pretty unlikely that someone would start calling him [name_m]Dick[/name_m] or any [name_m]Dick[/name_m] variation as a nickname if [name_m]Richard[/name_m] is his middle name. Not everyone will even know [name_m]Richard[/name_m] is his mn. As long as you plan on calling your son by his first name and not by his middle, I don’t think there should be much concern there.
If your DH’s name sounds nice with your last name ending in -er, then [name_m]Roger[/name_m] as a middle name should also sound fine! And unless you plan on calling your son by his first and middle a lot, then it won’t even come up most of the time.
I don’t really think [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] is hyper-feminine, despite the fact that it is a girl name. And after all, it would have been your mom’s dad’s last name. But maybe if you drop the “e” at the end, Allair might feel a little more gender-neutral as a middle name.
1- Not really a problem.
2- No one calls someone by a nickname that’s related to their middle name. It’s fine.
3- Since it’s a family surname, not a problem. He can explain to people as “my grandmother’s maiden name” and no one will make fun of it really.
I think all three work well, but [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] gets my vote on principle to include your side of the family! I think it would be a really cool middle for any gender.
I think it really depends on what you decide for a first.
I don’t think the er ending of [name_m]Roger[/name_m] would necessarily be an issue, it might depend on your surname but [name_m]Roger[/name_m] [name_m]Mayer[/name_m] for example sounds fine.
Richard as a middle name shouldnt end up with [name_m]Dick[/name_m] nn, that would only really happen if it is was his first name or the name he was choosing to go by.
I agree [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] might be better as a middle for a girl.
I would go with [name_m]Roger[/name_m] personally. As a mn, I don’t think this will come into play. Has it been terrible for DH’s dad all these years with fn and LN ending in -er?
As [name_m]Richard[/name_m] will be a mn, there shouldn’t be any teasing. Most kids won’t know that nn for [name_m]Richard[/name_m] (or what it means) until they’re already old enough to know who your kid is anyway. The [name_m]Richard[/name_m] I grew up with was teased for everything else, but it wasn’t his name (mind there was one class bully who led the way and picked out specific people to tease for other attributes). BTW we have a [name_m]Richard[/name_m] who recently joined the family who has always gone by [name_m]Rich[/name_m]… no one in the family (his or ours) has ever called him by any other name.
Agree with the above comments on [name_m]Roger[/name_m] or [name_m]Richard[/name_m]. [name_m]Richard[/name_m] in particular would not be shortened as a middle name. However, I think you should absolutely choose a middle name that connects to your family. [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] is terrific and in no way “feminine” - it’s a last name for goodness sake. [name_m]Richard[/name_m] would be a second choice.
I love [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] and I think it’s a beautiful name and very handsome for a boy’s middle name. Also, given that your three older sons all have family names from your husband’s family, I totally understand your desire to use a name for your side of the family. Frankly, given that he and his family members have already been honored, I feel like your husband should be understanding and allow you to use a family name of your own, even if it’s not your favorite.
For [name_m]Roger[/name_m] and [name_m]Richard[/name_m], I also think they are totally usable. If [name_m]Roger[/name_m] doesn’t flow well with your last name or [name_m]Richard[/name_m] has an unsavory nickname, I don’t think either will be a problem because it’s a middle name that is rarely used.
All of your options are great and work just fine especially in the middle spot but my vote goes to [name_f]Allaire[/name_f]. It is uncommon but has flare, feels more suited to a male than a female to me, and I think it would be nice to honour your side of the family this time.
I like all three of these names. [name_f]Allaire[/name_f] is fabulous, not too feminine at all, and [name_m]Roger[/name_m] and [name_m]Richard[/name_m] are both handsome underused classics.
My vote would go to [name_m]Richard[/name_m] or [name_f]Allaire[/name_f], since you’ve already honoured your husband’s side of the family three times over.
