My middle name is [name]Marie[/name]. I never hated it or loved it. It is just there. But my entire family history, going back as far as I know it, there is a [name]Marie[/name]. So, my grandma’s first name is actually [name]Marie[/name]. Her mother’s middle is [name]Marie[/name]. Her mother’s middle is [name]Marie[/name]…and so on. I always assumed I would just put [name]Marie[/name] in the middle. So, I have only been working with names that will work with [name]Marie[/name].
My husband came to me today and asked me if I was sure about the name [name]Marie[/name] in the middle. He is fine with it. But, he was asking. The issue is, my grandma has been so rude to me in recent times. She is 85 yrs old so I have been blaming her age. I used to love her so much and wanted to be just like her. But her behavior has gone on so long, with no other signs of age issues, that I am wondering if she has actually always been this way and I did not notice because I was younger or did not see much of her. In the last 2-3 yrs, she comes to visit for weeks at a time, 3 times a year, for 3 weeks at a time. Previously, I was lucky to see her for a week once a year, and then, Grandpa was around. Grandpa died 10 yrs ago. My daughter, who is 15 yrs old, says she does not really remember Grandma ever being that nice. To add to it, my own mother, who is her daughter, was not a good mother. My mother, who chose to have children, felt she was too good to have children. She did not even want custody of me as a child. Half my childhood she did not have custody. The years she did have custody was only because she did not want to pay child support and felt that she should not have to. But the only way out was to keep custody. Back then (I was born in 1970) the courts where we lived favored the moms. When she did not have custody of me, she never practiced her visitation. When she did have custody of me, she would tell me many times over, and in many ways, how much she hated me. She was not a dumb person, she was just full of herself. She has an [name]Ivy[/name] league education and had a career to match. The reason I am telling you all this is, my grandma raised her to be like this. [name]Even[/name] now, when my grandma visits, she stays with my mom and goes on and on about how great my mom is. She makes all these demands that I bend over and serve my mother (I don’t). My mother was actually a very spoiled person. It would take a while to explain. But the point is, if my grandma was such a wonderful great person, then how did she raise such a selfish horrible daughter? Now I am looking back over the years and remembering the various little signs that maybe my grandma has always been like this and I just was blind to it because I did not see much of her and thought the best of her (as most children do of their grandparents).
I am thinking because she is 85 yrs old, some of this behavior our of her in recent times could be age. And that she probably won’t be around much longer. And in 10 yrs, I will regret it if I never used my own middle name. And in 10 yrs, I will forget these bad years and how rude she is being. So therefore, I should just use the name. What do you think?