[name_m]Hi[/name_m]! So I think we’ve picked out the first name for our daughter, but in a real pickle for the middle name!
Middle Name Option 1 - perfect match with the first name imo. Flow, vibe, I just love the pairing so much!
Middle Name Option 2 - honor my late grandma who I was very close with. The flow is still fine, but the fit / vibes I just don’t love nearly as much. It’s a perfectly nice name, just doesn’t really match as nicely.
I know this is a super personal thing, but just wondering if anyone has any advice or has lived through something similar. Either way I’ll be happy with my choice, just sad to miss out on the other option. And I think hearing some others input might help. I don’t think 2 middle names is an option for us. Thanks!!
I think you have to decide what you’re going to be more sad about not using:
- a name that sounds good, feels perfect and that you just love so much
- a name that honors someone you love, but isn’t quite so appealing as a combo in its own right
I’d say:
- consider which you’d feel most confident and happy to announce to people
- consider which makes you feel happiest when you say it
- decide how often you’re going to say both names together
- do you like Middle Name Option 1 as a name in its own right outside of the combo? Is it one you love or one that sounds good, only when next to First name?
- would you feel like you’d always missed the opportunity of giving your daughter that connection to her late great grandma or are there other ways you could create that connection?
- are you planning on other kids and if so, if you went with Option 2, would you feel obliged to use other honours in the future? [name_m]Or[/name_m] if you have kids, do they have honour names? Does that matter to you?
- is there any other options that fit the vibe and flow with first name but also honour grandma?
If it were me, I’d do option 1 since honour names aren’t my thing, but it’s hard to tell you what’s best!
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Based on what you have said, I would probably pick the first option as that it is definitely the one you’re feeling the most, plus, no matter what name you pick, I’m sure your late Grandma would be very happy for you and there’s probably another way you could honor your late Grandma. You could even take your daughter to your Grandmother’s grave sometimes and talk to her. She would love to see your children and/or If you’re not able to do that (I don’t know a lot about cemeteries), maybe you could both talk to her sometimes in some other form. 
(I’m not a religious person and I’m not sure if you are either, but you might find some comfort in doing this).
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This is definitely good advice. From my perspective, based on what I’m getting from the way you wrote your post, it sounds sorta like you’re more excited about option 1. If that’s the case, then I think you should go with it. You’ll be honoring your grandma just by bringing your daughter into the world! And not using an honor name isn’t a sign that you’re not prioritizing your relationship with that person–it’s just, you should always go with a name you love, a name that has perfect vibes to you!
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This is all such great advice. Thank you so much!
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you plan on having anymore kids? Maybe whichever you don’t choose now, you can use for a next baby I.e you pick flowy name now and honor family with next baby or you honor now and see if by the time you have next baby if you still like the flowy name or if it changes a bit
Congratulations!
I personally opted for the one I love saying more over the family name. The person I would’ve honored can be honored in other ways, and Im (and my baby) are the ones who will be saying/living with it on a daily basis.
However my family isnt big on using honor names, so nobody would expect us to use themn it might be different if the person I was going to honor would be disappointed if we didnt use their name.