When we got married, I decided to keep my own surname, but always assumed the future children would take their fathers name. My reasoning was that they will have a fairly obvious birth connection to me (!) and will spend rather more time with me in childhood because I work from home, so I thought it would be good to give them a strong tie to their father. Not a problem so far. Except – husband has a very, very Italian sounding surname (you couldn’t possibly mistake it for any other nationality), and the given names we like are almost exclusively scots/gaelic/cornish/welsh (both of us have roots in these countries). The given names on both of our top ten lists seem rather incongruous with the future last name. This problem would disappear with my surname, and it might also make it easier to sort out gov’t documents if we had the same name, but then they wouldn’t have that connection to their father’s history.
We have looked at Italian names but they aren’t really our style (and both my husband and his brother go by anglicized short forms of their given names). Remarkably, we agree on almost all of our favourite names (there is a lot of overlap on our lists!). I know this is an odd problem, but what do you think, nameberries? Should we just give them the names we like with his surname? Should we use my surname? Or should we try to find less obviously cultured given names that wouldn’t seem so out of place, even with the distinctive surname?
I think you’re fine either way. I wouldn’t blink an eye at [name]Maeve[/name] Lombardi or [name]Eamonn[/name] [name]Di[/name] [name]Rossi[/name]. I’d just assume the parents were from different cultural backgrounds, which is definitely not uncommon. I mean I guess it would be a little jarring, but as long as the first names are relatively commonplace (for example, not [name]Caoimhe[/name]) then it’s fine. [name]Just[/name] choose a name you love.
I have my mom’s surname, and it’s worked out fine for my sister and me, so if you do decide to take that route, there’d be nothing to worry about there.
I had similar thoughts/situation with naming my children. I took my husbands surname which is very Irish. I am of Italian descent. Our last name sounds like Hennessey (very Irish). Our first son is [name]Lachlan[/name] Hennessey has a good flow. I really wanted an Italian name for my second son to honor my heritage but worried how it would sound with our Irish surname. I did it anyway. [name]Vito[/name] Hennessey is his name and I don’t mind the blend of ethnicity at all - after all, most Americans are a mix of ethnicity anyway. I say go for what you decide personally, but remember there does not have to be rules when naming!
Thank you both! That’s very reassuring. We actually live in [name]England[/name] currently (where hopefully said names wouldn’t be so unfamiliar) but we visit [name]Canada[/name] frequently and may move there eventually so it’s reassuring to know that mixed-ethnicity names are OK across the pond. We may cross some of the more obscure names off our list, though – actually, that could help to narrow it down.
I say just go with what you love! I wouldn’t complicate the issue with different surnames, myself, and if that results in a culturally mismatched full name, then so be it. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, myself - now, it might depend just how Scottish/Celtic/Irish/Gaelic the names you love are, but I still say go for it…
[name]Lemon[/name]
PS I tend to find English and Latin names to be the most forgiving in terms of cultural specificity - names like [name]Aster[/name], [name]Audrey[/name], [name]Beckett[/name], [name]Bayard[/name], [name]Cadence[/name], [name]Clare[/name], [name]Destin[/name], and [name]Dominic[/name] tend to blend well regardless of surname. That’s a variety of styles, I know, but I was trying to be inclusive. Ha.
Choose names from any culture that you like as long as they sound good with your last name. I would also try to keep siblings names in sync. For example [name]Sebastian[/name] and brother [name]Charles[/name] work well together. Also [name]Marco[/name] and [name]Lucas[/name], or [name]Milo[/name] and [name]Anton[/name] but some names just don’t work. For example [name]Lachlan[/name] and [name]Luigi[/name] or [name]Franco[/name] and [name]Connor[/name].
Thanks again everyone! Unfortunately a hyphenated name is right out as that would give them a seven-syllable surname! (having battled spaces that are too short on application forms before, I don’t really have any desire to make it worse for the kids – or the teachers that have to call their names out in class). I think we’ll maybe run the names we have in mind past a few people to see what sort of reaction they get, and if it’s not working out, I really like the suggestion of using it as a middle name if all else fails, so that’s a possibility too. Sure, you’ve still got a name clash, but only if they use their full names and how often does that happen.
I actually prefer for the first name and surname to be of different ethnicities if the parents are. I kind of feel like the mother’s heritage is left out when the children have the father’s surname and a name that matches it ethnically when the mother is not of that ethnicity. I think it’s nice to have a first name that represents your ethnicity and their father’s surname, it’s a way to honor both of you.
Writing from the US I can also say that mixed ethnicity names don’t really make people bat an eye most places. I agree with the sentiments that it does help if the names are a little flexible by virtue of being relatively familiar, but even that’s not set in stone or anything (see some of my thoughts below).
You might consider, as well, names that have a more English feel – another poster mentioned these being “forgiving,” which is true enough – but can be transferred easily from one language to another. [name]Rose[/name] could learn about [name]Roisin[/name] and [name]Rosa[/name]. [name]John[/name] about [name]Sean[/name] and [name]Gianni[/name].
I think you mentioned Cornish names too and I think at least a few of those that I know don’t really scream Gaelic the way some of the other ones do (again, you can still pick names that do in fact, scream Gaelic : D). [name]Kerenza[/name] and Damelza would probably sound Italian to some untrained ears, and you could even play with the spellings in ways that would promote that more if you were so inclined. Probably also true of some of the Irish ones like [name]Sorcha[/name]. [name]Carys[/name]/[name]Carissa[/name] comes to mind too as a combination to play with.
Also religious names have to overlap some of the time at least. [name]Eva[/name] connects through [name]Aoife[/name] and [name]Eva[/name], and [name]Maria[/name] has to be important to both cultures (if, of course, you like it!).
Good luck! I know you’ll come up with some beautiful, awesome names!
I live in predominantly Hispanic culture but many people in their child-rearing years were born here but have last names like [name]Perez[/name], [name]Rodriguez[/name], etc. [name]Just[/name] this weekend I heard this concern from a pregnant lady that she like the name [name]Sadie[/name] (good keep it for myself) but didn’t think it flowed well with her husband’s last name. My feeling is that you didn’t pick your last name or your husband, why should you be tied/limited to certain first names because of a name you didn’t pick? If you love Gaelic names/ango names, then go for it and don’t worry about it matching with their Italian last name. I do have to say that some Gaelic names are spelled very odd for their pronouncation, which may not be as troubling in [name]England[/name], but in the US, I would really try to go with the more commonly accepted English spelling if possible.
My sister really loved the name [name]Ethan[/name]. She never had a boy, but she would have totally named him [name]Ethan[/name] [name]Perez[/name] if she had one. So it doesn’t look like it’s a made up name for hollywood, but why should she name her soon [name]Jose[/name], [name]Manuel[/name], or [name]Jorge[/name], just because she married a guy with the last name [name]Perez[/name]?
