Moving and Room Sharing Advice

Hey Mamas,

[name_m]Just[/name_m] wondering, we are in the process of moving for a better school district (for our older son who is in middle school). However, we’re only planning on staying there until he graduates high school (so 6 years or so).
What we’re trying to decide: should we get a smaller place and have our two youngest share or get a more expensive place for each to have their own room?
Our two youngest will only be 2.6 years apart, but that means they will be almost 9 and 7 when we move and they are opposite gender. If they were both girls or boys I wouldn’t mind making them share, but I’m worried that they will be upset having to share with their big sister/little brother.
If we get the smaller place we can afford to put money towards savings and vacations, whereas if we get a place even with one more bedroom it will mean a tighter budget. What do you think the kids will want more: their own rooms or summer vacations?


Choose summer vacations. I would not pass up the chance to give them great experiences and memories just so they can have their own rooms.

When I was younger, I preferred summer vacations, and I didnt mind sharing a room with my two younger brothers.
In my teen years though, I was relieved that I had my own room.
In the end every family is different, and you only know what suits you the best.

I would also go with the experiences. I didn’t (usually) mind sharing a room, but was less enthused with it the older I got as [name_f]Belle[/name_f] said. They’ll learn far more by experiencing difference cultures and having to share their space with someone than they will by staying put and just avoiding the room-sharing situation.

I never had my own room as a child, I used to share my room with my parents and my sister and then just with my sister. It worked fine for us, but I must say my sister and I get on very well. I know I would have hated not being able to go on vacations, though.

Since you have 3 what if you just put the two together that are the same gender that might make it easier especially if at 7 & 9 yrs old, they are about to hit teenage years during the 6 year period. I agree extra summer vacations would be nicer. Or another option might be the youngest share a room if they are comfortable and then you can revisit in a few years and find a different combo for sharing the room!

[name_m]Will[/name_m] the room-sharers have enough space to be able to have their own territory? You can always put a cool curtain track up to divide the space for personal time, clothing changing and sleeping. You also have to know your kids. [name_m]Will[/name_m] they respect each others’ privacy? [name_f]Do[/name_f] they each have headphones as not to disturb each other? [name_m]Will[/name_m] he/she feel compromised if the sibling has a friend over hanging out in the room and knowing that personal space and things won’t be touched?

I’m all for room sharing - for opposite gender siblings though, you need to be smart about how rules and boundaries are set.

So quick extra info:
Currently my oldest child, a boy, is 11; my middle child, a girl, is 2; and the baby, a boy, will be arriving in [name_u]January[/name_u].
I don’t want to make my eldest share a room with his younger brother because the age gap is so large. I don’t mind making the 2 littles share a room for a few years, but they will be in 3rd and 1st grade respectively when we do end up moving. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think, as a 9yr old girl, you would have been OK sharing your room with your 7yr old brother?

By the time you think you might move, your eldest might have already moved out of home. Your younger children would have a room each. Would you still want to move then? In the meantime, two babies can share a room.

If you’re moving to a better school district, surely you’d want your other 2 to go/graduate there as well? If that is the case I’d say 4 bedrooms but if for whatever reason it’s not I’d say 3 bedrooms is fine.

If you’re definitely going to move when the younger two are 7 and 9, I don’t think pre-pubescent children will mind sharing a bedroom if they’re a boy and girl any more than if they were two boys or two girls. My mom spent her pre-adolescence sharing a room with three of her sisters (bunk beds), and they turned out okay. I think for little kids, they should be fine, and it’s more in later childhood that kids really start needing/wanting more of their own space.

[name_f]Summer[/name_f] vacations. I’m the oldest of six and all of us (4 girls and 2 boys) share a room. It just works best for us! It builds special bonds between siblings and… it’s only weird if you make it weird.

When my husband and I built our house we thought the same thing. We’re a military family and were already spending so much money, so we didn’t know if we should make the kids share rooms. We have 4 kids (2 girls and 2 boys). Our biggest age gap is 3 years. We decided to give each kid their own room figuring that we plan on being in this house permanently and the kids would really appreciate having the personal space once they grow up.