Moving

[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I currently live in the Midwest (US). His parents live here, but neither of us are from here, and we don’t like it much. He grew up in the northwest, and I grew up in the northeast, so we both miss the ocean a lot. This has made us decide to move soon.

I just don’t know where we should go! Our musts list-
Must be near the ocean (within 4 hours)
Must have family or lots of friends nearby (within 2 hours)
Must have a decent job market and be somewhat affordable.

This is proving VERY difficult. We have family both on the northeast and southwest coast, but both are so different and so expensive! I love the seasons, apple picking, sledding, quaint towns and history in [name_m]New[/name_m] [name_f]England[/name_f]. But I hate the long winters. I like the mild weather on SoCal, but I think I would kind of miss seasons sometimes! Also, both sets of our parents are out west so it would be sad to move back east, even though I have tons o friends there for support.

I’m just so torn! So torn that I feel like we will be stuck in the Midwest forever! But I miss the ocean, miss my mom, miss my friends, hate living a block away from my in laws. There is just no winning!

Suggestions?

If you go two hours inland from SoCal you’re either in Joad Country (the central [name_f]Valley[/name_f], AKA Migrant Families Who Are Horribly Taken Advantage Of) or the desert (where meth heads go to die).

But if you go two hours north, you’re on the central coast, which is very nice. It’s pricy on the coast itself ([name_f]Santa[/name_f] [name_f]Barbara[/name_f], Monterrey), but a little more affordable slightly inland ([name_f]Santa[/name_f] [name_u]Cruz[/name_u]). I have no idea what your fields are so can’t comment on the job market.

Another great, affordable coastal city is [name_m]Portland[/name_m]-- but that’s not within 2 hours except by plane.

“The northeast” is a big chunk of land. Southern [name_u]Jersey[/name_u] is decent, inland [name_f]Virginia[/name_f] is very nice, and upstate NY once you get out of vacation house-range from NYC is also good.

[name_m]Houston[/name_m] is near the ocean (60 miles) is affordable and is booming. [name_m]Charleston[/name_m], SC is gorgeous, as is [name_f]Savannah[/name_f], GA. [name_m]Austin[/name_m] TX is the coolest city in the US (about 4hrs from the ocean though)-- if they had a big academic hospital I would move to [name_m]Austin[/name_m] in a heartbeat. The inner suburbs of Seattle are affordable and are sandwiched in between the ocean, a huge freshwater lake, and the mountains.

I’ve lived in both SoCal (San [name_m]Diego[/name_m]) and I’m from [name_m]New[/name_m] [name_f]England[/name_f] originally, so I can totally see where you’re coming from. They are both amazing places but with totally different atmospheres. Thankfully, the military gave us money to live in San [name_m]Diego[/name_m], so we didn’t feel the cost of living as badly as we would have were we not given money for rent. We also lived south of the city in what I liked to refer to as a suburb of [name_f]Tijuana[/name_f] which was not so glamorous. [name_u]North[/name_u] of the city was great, though! [name_u]Love[/name_u] it. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if it’s all on fire right now… :frowning:

I will second [name_m]Charleston[/name_m] as blade said. It’s awesome! I lived 2 hours north of there so I have been a few times. I currently live in coastal [name_f]Virginia[/name_f], and it is probably the most affordable place I have lived so far in my life other than South [name_f]Carolina[/name_f] (San [name_m]Diego[/name_m], [name_m]New[/name_m] [name_f]England[/name_f], and Annapolis, MD were all pretty pricey but I loved being there).

Honestly, it’s a tough decision with really no wrong option. I wish I could have the luxury of choosing where to live next! :wink:

Thank you both!

[name_u]Texas[/name_u] and the southeast are probably out, as we don’t have family or friends nearby. Although I must say I do love [name_f]Virginia[/name_f] beach and [name_u]North[/name_u] [name_f]Carolina[/name_f] coast.

Northern [name_u]Cali[/name_u] is a possibility. But other than that I think it is probably going to be between [name_m]New[/name_m] Hampshire, Mass, [name_m]Vermont[/name_m], or SoCal. Or staying put here in [name_u]Colorado[/name_u] (sigh)

It seems so much easier to just stay put. Hubby is a fiber optic tech. I used to nanny (can do that anywhere) but don’t work right now, and have no immediate plans to work. Hubby is working to find a new job and it seems so much easier to get a job here, get a little house, stay put for a while. But thinking about being away from the ocean and so dang close to my crazy in laws makes me feel insane.

Hmmmm…

Oh btw @julylacs, love your name choice :slight_smile: our little boy is 2 1/2 months and he is [name_u]Jameson[/name_u] [name_u]Michael[/name_u], nn [name_u]Jem[/name_u]!

“If you go two hours inland from SoCal you’re either in Joad Country (the central [name_f]Valley[/name_f], AKA Migrant Families Who Are Horribly Taken Advantage Of) or the desert (where meth heads go to die).”

LOL. This is generally SO [name_u]TRUE[/name_u].

But, OP, what I interpreted from what you were saying is that you’d like to be reasonably close to the coast. You can definitely be well within an hour’s drive of the beach in SoCal and not be in the nasty high desert or meth-head or Joad country. Where I live ([name_f]Santa[/name_f] [name_f]Clarita[/name_f]; 30-45 min north of L.A., 45 min east of the [name_f]Ventura[/name_f] beaches) is moderately affordable (although I probably don’t even know what that means anymore, having been in SoCal for a little too long to remember). Good schools; safe community; solid reputation as a family community. Incredibly nice aquatic center and parks. And it’s close enough to the ocean to take a 45-minute drive out to the beach to watch the sunset. It’s definitely not Joad Country OR the “desert-desert” and has been ranked one of the best places to live (in 2006 it was #18 of the Top 100 Places to Live by Money Magazine).

Sure, it’s no San [name_m]Diego[/name_m], but it’s way more affordable than San [name_m]Diego[/name_m], too (we’ve lived there, for a year, in [name_u]Carmel[/name_u] Mtn Ranch). It’s also MUCH less depressing than (and surprisingly about as affordable as) the inland Seattle suburbs (lived there for 3.5 years, in Shoreline). Hands down, the weather here is SO MUCH BETTER than the [name_m]Pacific[/name_m] Northwest or the Midwest, it’s not even funny. It does get pretty hot in the summer, but [name_f]IMO[/name_f] it’s worth it to have the milder winters/springs.

Check out [name_f]Santa[/name_f] [name_f]Clarita[/name_f].

I’ve only ever lived in Northern [name_f]Virginia[/name_f] and here in SoCal, so I can’t be too helpful, but if you want southeastern weather with a northeastern cultural vibe, the DC metro area (or even the whole Chesapeake [name_u]Bay[/name_u] area) would be a great compromise. Affordability varies widely depending on where exactly you live, but Maryland and Northern [name_f]Virginia[/name_f] have some of the best schools in the country, and were pretty insulated from the recession, so that’s a plus.

Have you ever lived without seasons? Since living near both sets of parents is not feasible, I think it is possible to live near one and travel frequently to see the other/experience seasons. I am not really clear from the post where all of your people live, but I would say that if you like your parents, do try and live near at least one set. We tried to live in LA for a few years, but even though we loved it, it was much too far from our people. The flights there and back were awful and my mom never did figure out time zones so she kept calling me at 5am.

As your parents age, they will probably need you nearby more and more. I would factor in potentially traveling frequently to see both sets if you are close and you are considering somewhere far from all of them.

From my experience, being near friends and family is more important than the scenery and the weather. When I was young, I moved out to be near mountains and the ocean and it was a fun adventure but I ended up moving back to home in the Midwest because it’s hard without having friends and family around. I came to appreciate my home town even more after that. Well, it’s a good sized city but we have nature here, even without the mountains and ocean, but we have lakes that seem like oceans, and we have the cold weather but I’ve learned to appreciate wintertime more. I like cross country skiing and exercising regularly and wearing long underwear really helps the cold not be so cold.

Although I never thought of [name_u]Colorado[/name_u] as Midwest. It’s the west! Cattle ranches and cowboy wannabes. I’ve been to [name_u]Colorado[/name_u] a number of times, and I think I wouldn’t mind living there, certainly I would prefer it over [name_u]California[/name_u], which is just so populated. But it’s just so dry. I like having space between cities. I’m happy in my Midwestern city, big enough for culture but not so big I can drive for an hour and be in the woods.