My husband and I cannot agree at all

I am 37 weeks pregnant and we literally are at a stand still. I want to name our child names from our family. My husband want to go with a made up name or name that has the same initial as family members, but not the same name… For a boy he wants a [name]JR[/name], while I am not at all in favor of a [name]JR[/name], but I can understand why he wants it and would be willing to compromise by changing the middle name (I have no affinity at all for his middle name). So, here are preferences as of right now

My preferences:

[name]Katherine[/name] [name]Elaine[/name] - I am absolutley IN [name]LOVE[/name] with this name, to the point I am having a mental block trying to think of anything else I really like. There are many [name]Katherine[/name]'s on both sides of our family and [name]Elaine[/name] is my mother’s middle name.

[name]Anderson[/name] [name]Garner[/name] (a family name from both sides of the family) or [name]James[/name] [name]Dennis[/name] (his father and my father) - I am willing to compromise and go with [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Anderson[/name] or [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Dennis[/name]

My husband’s preferemces:

[name]Melanie[/name] [name]Denise[/name] - This is a mix of my middle name and my mother’s name ([name]Michelle[/name] and [name]Elaine[/name]) and the feminization of my father’s name… I don’t like it.

[name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] - This is his name… he wants it as is. with [name]JR[/name].

By the way I should mention this is our 2nd child and his 3rd. The other children’s names are [name]Ariel[/name] [name]Symone[/name] (his daughter, I am not sure how much input he had on the name, but it has no familial significance it is just names he and ex liked) and [name]Kenneth[/name] [name]Aubrey[/name] (our son named after both of out maternal grandfathers).

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[quote=“kwm537”]I am 37 weeks pregnant and we literally are at a stand still. I want to name our child names from our family. My husband want to go with a made up name or name that has the same initial as family members, but not the same name… For a boy he wants a [name]JR[/name], while I am not at all in favor of a [name]JR[/name], but I can understand why he wants it and would be willing to compromise by changing the middle name (I have no affinity at all for his middle name). So, here are preferences as of right now
I don’t like [name]JR[/name] because of the T.V. show “[name]Dallas[/name]” even though I never watched that show. For me, [name]JR[/name] sounds like a dated, pushy, sexist character.

I love the name [name]Kathleen[/name] [name]Elaine[/name]! My sister’s name is [name]Kathleen[/name] and my aunt’s name was [name]Elaine[/name]. I think that if you really love this name (and you do!), you should get to use it. It is classic.

My preferences:

[name]Katherine[/name] [name]Elaine[/name] - I am absolutley IN [name]LOVE[/name] with this name, to the point I am having a mental block trying to think of anything else I really like. There are many [name]Katherine[/name]'s on both sides of our family and [name]Elaine[/name] is my mother’s middle name.
See my comment above. I didn’t put it in the right place.

[name]Anderson[/name] [name]Garner[/name] (a family name from both sides of the family) or [name]James[/name] [name]Dennis[/name] (his father and my father) - I am willing to compromise and go with [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Anderson[/name] or [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Dennis[/name].
I love the name [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Cooper[/name] - the newsman on CNN, so I love [name]Anderson[/name] nn [name]Andy[/name]. I don’t see why you couldn’t have the nn [name]Drew[/name] as well. [name]James[/name] is one of my favorite names. [name]Reginald[/name] is adorable nn [name]Regi[/name].

My husband’s preferemces:

[name]Melanie[/name] [name]Denise[/name] - This is a mix of my middle name and my mother’s name ([name]Michelle[/name] and [name]Elaine[/name]) and the feminization of my father’s name… I don’t like it. For me, [name]Melanie[/name] is kind of dated and [name]Denise[/name] is really, really dated.

[name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] - This is his name… he wants it as is. with [name]JR[/name]. There is a slightly unpleasant city in my area named [name]Linwood[/name] so I am biased against it.

By the way I should mention this is our 2nd child and his 3rd. The other children’s names are [name]Ariel[/name] [name]Symone[/name] (his daughter, I am not sure how much input he had on the name, but it has no familial significance it is just names he and ex liked) and [name]Kenneth[/name] [name]Aubrey[/name] (our son named after both of out maternal grandfathers).
I love the name [name]Kenneth[/name] because it was my father’s name. It is fun to say and has a great nn- [name]Ken[/name]. [name]Ariel[/name] is pretty, too.

I think that since he has another daughter, you should have more say-so on your daughter’s name. I would choose a boy’s name that goes nicely with [name]Kenneth[/name]. I don’t like [name]JR[/name] with [name]Kenneth[/name]. I like all the other choices.

[name]Katherine[/name] [name]Elaine[/name]: I think this is lovely, and I love how the name has significance for you. If your husband doesn’t like it, you could update [name]Elaine[/name] with [name]Elaina[/name] or [name]Eliana[/name]. I think [name]Eliana[/name] [name]Kate[/name]/[name]Katherine[/name] or [name]Elaina[/name] [name]Katherine[/name] are pretty.

[name]Anderson[/name] [name]Garner[/name] (a family name from both sides of the family) or [name]James[/name] [name]Dennis[/name] (his father and my father): I think [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Garner[/name] is great. I have to be honest and say that [name]Reginald[/name] strikes me as one of those names that’s just begging for the kid to be picked on at school. I think [name]Reggie[/name] is a cool nickname, though.

My husband’s preferemces:

[name]Melanie[/name] [name]Denise[/name]: [name]Both[/name] names are very, very dated. [name]Ouch[/name]. I feel your pain. :slight_smile:

[name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name]: I really like [name]Linwood[/name] in the middle, and think the combo is very distinguished. I just picture little [name]Reginald[/name] being pelted in dodgeball games during recess. :frowning:

What about updating [name]Dennis[/name] with [name]Dennison[/name]?

What about using your husband’s initials?

[name]Rose[/name] [name]Linwood[/name]
[name]Ruby[/name] [name]Linwood[/name]
[name]Ruby[/name] [name]Laurel[/name]
[name]Regina[/name] [name]Laurel[/name]
[name]Regina[/name] [name]Linwood[/name]

[name]Roman[/name] [name]Linwood[/name]
[name]Rafferty[/name] [name]Linwood[/name]
[name]Redmond[/name] [name]Leander[/name]

Good luck! :slight_smile:

I like [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Elaine[/name], and I sort of still like [name]Melanie[/name], but not [name]Denise[/name] at all.

[name]Melanie[/name] did sort of peak a while ago, but I don’t think of it as like a “mom” name. Of course I’m not that young, so I think a mom name is [name]Fran[/name] or [name]Carol[/name] or [name]Barbara[/name] or [name]Joanne[/name]. [name]Melanie[/name], to me, moves quietly and doesn’t startle anyone, namewise. I knew a [name]Gladys[/name] when I was 10-11, and that was dated, that is not a name that just blends in from the past, also a couple Marthas, one actually went by [name]Marti[/name] and that was because her first name was [name]Florence[/name]. So I don’t think [name]Melanie[/name] is that far out just because it’s not really new, by comparison.

[name]Denise[/name] is just out. There are a lot of things I just never liked about the name.
If there’s any room for compromise, I think it’s maybe a name that rhymes, like [name]Anise[/name], [name]Elise[/name], or [name]Alanis[/name], that might sound newer to you and still get the sound of a name your husband likes. Otherwise, I don’t mind [name]Dennis[/name] for a middle name, or to honor [name]Dennis[/name], a more feminine name that rhymes with [name]Dennis[/name] (can’t think of one until I start to move toward things like [name]Ellis[/name] or [name]Alice[/name]) or starts with D, like [name]Diana[/name]. To honor [name]Reginald[/name], I prefer Regine or [name]Renee[/name] - in the middle.

[name]Reginald[/name]. Not liking names that end in -ald. [name]Reg[/name] (rej) or [name]Reggie[/name] sound cute though, and I can think of probably a lot of boys I went to school with whose full names I never really thought about because they went by nicknames. [name]Even[/name] names like [name]Eddie[/name], I mean think about it - [name]Edward[/name]. It’s a real name, a solid man’s name, but I’m hard pressed to think of anyone I know called [name]Edward[/name], it’s kind of stick-up formal, so I think names like [name]Reginald[/name] have the capacity to be that boy, like [name]Eddie[/name]. [name]Eddie[/name] and [name]Woody[/name] and [name]Frankie[/name] and [name]Ricky[/name]. Nobody teased them for having long-form names that weren’t exactly the coolest.

Not the same for [name]Linwood[/name]. It’s not exactly feminine, but it’s just not really holding a lot of weight for me. Unlike first names, middle names don’t have nicknames. Also they are hidden, but when someone finds out they tell everybody. Of course, times like these are now, it might not be so unusual, but [name]Reggie[/name]'s middle name is [name]LINWOOD[/name]! ha ha ha, is the first thing I think of. It would pass, but that’s not a fun experience.

I would veto that if I were you and I could. I don’t have any suggestions but perhaps a compromise of a second middle name between [name]Reginald[/name] and [name]Linwood[/name]. Think of it like this: [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] _______, [name]Jr[/name]. or [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] _______, or even [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] _______. That doesn’t necessarily tell the world like a nametag this is your husbands direct lineage, but that’s what birth records are for and why they are retained. Who is going to say, while your family is still young that’s not [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] _______'s son? Unless your husband really thinks being a Sr. is where it’s at, it’s the same thing.

Not sure how I feel personally about [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Garner[/name]. If that’s what you love, I don’t think it’s either here or there. Fits in, very normal, solid name. It’s good.

Any other suggestions… I am running out of time… Only 2 weeks left til due date.

I like your tastes. :slight_smile: Not so much your husband’s!

My husband’s family has a tradition of passing on a middle name and first initial (in our case, C. [name]Jerome[/name]). I personally can’t stand Jrs. There are so many more creative ways to honor a father.

Would your husband be willing to talk about having a R. [name]Linwood[/name]? That way his son can still be R. [name]Linwood[/name] ______ II. My husband is C. [name]Jerome[/name] III and loves it.

Some R boy names to throw out there (I’ll stick to classics since that seems to be more your style):

[name]Richard[/name]
[name]Ronald[/name]
[name]Robert[/name]
[name]Ralph[/name]
[name]Randall[/name]
[name]Raphael[/name]
[name]Roger[/name]
[name]Russell[/name]
[name]Rolland[/name]

Other options to honor your husband if you have a son: Use the letters of his first name or first and middle to find another name (ex. [name]Niles[/name]), find a name with the same or similar meaning to his name ([name]Roald[/name] = famous ruler, [name]Rolland[/name] = famous throughout the land), use his name in a different language ([name]Renaud[/name]= French, [name]Reinald[/name] = [name]German[/name], [name]Rinaldo[/name] = Italian).

My personal favorite would probably be [name]Richard[/name] [name]Linwood[/name]. It’s very dignified sounding and carries on the “feel” of your husband’s name.

Good luck!

[name]Just[/name] a question and something to consider - most “[name]Jr[/name]'s” that I know are the first son, named the same as the father to carry on the name. if you guys already have a son and he isn’t a “[name]Jr[/name]” would that be strange/weird to have a “[name]Jr[/name]” born second? I personally think it would be.

Also, do you call your son “[name]Kenneth[/name]” or “[name]Kenny[/name]”? [name]Just[/name] curious.

One last thing, if you do name your child [name]Reginald[/name], I would definitely call him “[name]Reggie[/name]”.

[name]Hope[/name] you guys can figure out something soon! Good luck!

As far as girls’ names go, I think [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Elaine[/name] is great!

Names for boys:
I love [name]Reginald[/name] nn [name]Reggie[/name]
[name]Russell[/name]
[name]Roald[/name]
[name]Rex[/name]
[name]Remy[/name]
[name]Ross[/name]
[name]Reed[/name]
[name]Raphael[/name] nn [name]Rafe[/name]

Thanks so much for the additional replies. To answer a few questions… yes, I think it is strange for the 2nd son to be a [name]Jr[/name]. as well, but I think part of the reason it was not as big of an issue then is we had just gotten engaged about 6 months before we found out I was pregnant the 1st time, and were not married when our son was born.
I think part of my issue is nicknames as well. We do NOT call our son [name]Kenny[/name], he hates it, we hate it. In fact, part of the appeal of his name is his nickname which is [name]KAM[/name] (his initials) which we planned that way (because my family nicknames everyone). I would like to nickname a girl (with the name [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Elaine[/name]) either [name]Kat[/name] or [name]Lainy[/name]. We already call my husband [name]Reggie[/name] so I think calling a child [name]Reggie[/name] would be confusing. Which leaves the middle name to draw from… RL, [name]Woody[/name] (I don’t care for either)… I definitely would not call him [name]Junior[/name]… I don’t like that at all. If he would compromise and go with [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Anderson[/name], then I would nickname him [name]Andy[/name] (although I’m not crazy about it) or maybe even [name]Sonny[/name] or [name]Drew[/name]. If I completely got my way and the name was [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Garner[/name], then the nickname would be [name]AG[/name], [name]Gar[/name], or [name]Andy[/name].

I plan on trying to talk to him about this again tonight (the kids will be at Grandma’s), so wish me luck!

My father and brother have the same name and were always called Big _____ and [name]Little[/name] _____ in the house, whenever someone got a phone call “do you want Big _____ or [name]Little[/name] _____,” a nickname similar to [name]Reggie[/name], or let’s say [name]Eddie[/name]*. My brother is 45 now and goes - well he lives on the other side of the country now. If his name were [name]Eddie[/name], I still call him [name]Eddie[/name] if I’m talking to my mother, as in “I forgot to send [name]Eddie[/name] a card for his birthday,” or she was just out visiting him, I’d ask “put [name]Eddie[/name] on the phone,” but he goes by “[name]Ed[/name]” at home. My father still goes by “[name]Eddie[/name]” to family, very seldom have I heard him called “[name]Ed[/name],” and never “[name]Edward[/name].”

I hope this true story helps you win the argument. [name]Don[/name]'t call him [name]Little[/name] [name]Reggie[/name], or [name]Junior[/name], or [name]Woody[/name].

*names changed, too much personal identification sorry.

Not to be a stickler, but if you change the middle name, then his is no longer a “junior”. My understanding is that in order to be a [name]Jr[/name]. you need the EXACT same name as the father.

My husband has his father’s first (and obviously last) name but not the same middle, so he is not a junior.

So. Options seems to be

  1. Giving in to your husband and naming your son [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] and then coming up with a good nickname that is not [name]Reggie[/name] ([name]Woody[/name]? [name]Gin[/name]? [name]Lin[/name]? Arlem – from R.L.M like your older son)
  2. Using the same initials R.L. - this obviously gives the most flexibility. Good suggestions above.
  3. Something in “spirit”.

As for girls, I don’t hate [name]Denise[/name] or [name]Melanie[/name] as much as everyone does. I think [name]Melanie[/name] is a very nice name, and I like where it comes from.

What about [name]Melanie[/name] [name]Katherine[/name]? You can still call her [name]Kat[/name] or [name]Lainy[/name].

I think it is a very very good point about your older boy. If his name is not from his father’s, then when he is older he may question why he wasn’t as important? I don’t really believe this but it may be something you can argue to your husband.

I personally found the nameberry blog on [name]How[/name] Not to Fight About Names incredibly useful. Trying to understand the reasons behind why someone loves or hates a name. It sounds like you first need to clear up with your husband what is important to the both of you in terms of honoring family members etc. and then decide on the name afterward. (It sounds like honoring family is very important to your husband while giving the children something new is more important to you).

[name]Hope[/name] you have time!!

I think the best way to compromise would be [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Reginald[/name] _______. Being the 2nd in line would be the first son, and this is a weird custom where one might expect [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] ______, [name]Jr[/name]. to carry on the “tradition” but he won’t. It is cool to be III, people can call you [name]Trey[/name] and stuff, but back to reality, it’s a little weird to me to start a naming “tradition” by naming your son, effectively, “[name]Junior[/name]”. Are you in fact royalty? It is kind of cute if you have some social standing or have a good name to use that you both like, but your husband is not the first guy, and this is not even his first “copy” of himself.

As I said earlier, my brother is a junior and he didn’t carry it on when he named his sons. Mostly it’s something my mother still regrets being talked into, still, it’s been 45 years. That is the strongest argument I can think of. I think a good name for the son of [name]Reginald[/name] [name]Linwood[/name] _______ would be [name]Anderson[/name] [name]Reginald[/name] ________. I mean, he should have some say, I think fathers should not be completely dismissed on the naming… but I think he should offer to compromise also. Unless he completely hates [name]Anderson[/name], which I think he’s wrong. :slight_smile:

As for if it’s a girl, they are all ok names except [name]Denise[/name]. [name]Said[/name] so before. I don’t know a good compromise between [name]Melanie[/name] and [name]Katherine[/name]. [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Melanie[/name] would be ok instead of [name]Elaine[/name]. I have no preferences really among them except some feel [name]Melanie[/name] to be out of date and that you could have [name]Melanie[/name] OR [name]Elaine[/name], not both, pertaining to the anagram.

[name]Katherine[/name] [name]Elaine[/name] is gorgeous. More importantly, if you can’t even think up another name because you love it so much… well, lucky you! Grab it. Most of us agonize over everything because we [name]DON[/name]'T have a name we love with all our hearts.