My husband and I aren’t quite ready for a baby (about 6 months away from TTC) but LOTS of our friends are! 2 of my favorite boys names have already been used by friends. [name]Levi[/name] and [name]Jonah[/name]. I was crushed! Whenever a baby is born my first question is “What did they name him/her?” My closest friends know my top boy and girl names and wouldn’t dream of using them, but it’s the ones that we see occasionally at parties and things that I’m worried about. I feel like they aren’t really close enough for me to tell them I have “dibs” on a name, but we are too close to have kiddos with the same name. What are the “rules” for baby names within a circle of friends?
You should be happy that those friends used [name]Levi[/name] and [name]Jonah[/name] those names are SO popular I know at least 5 [name]Levi[/name]'s. Chances are if one of you acquaintances has named his kid [name]Levi[/name] then so have millions of others. With the names for me it is a first come first serve type of thing.
I think it depends on the person - how comfortable you feel with the two kids potentially having the same name. It seems to me that if you’re not close enough to call “dibs” (and you have a circle of friends that is close enough for that) then these peripheral friends’ kids could share a name with yours and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. I’m thinking about when I was growing up, and the kids of my parents who I saw maybe a few times a year - it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal if I had shared a name with one of them. If you feel comfortable enough, you could even tell the baby’s mom how much you love her son’s name and that you have been considering it for future use as well - to avoid the idea that you named your son after hers.
I don’t think it matters. I don’t think it would even be a big deal if a close friend used “your” name. I don’t share my name list with people very often and I have made it clear to my friends that I don’t care if we end up with a child with the same or close to name. But they have to understand that means I am not taking “their” names off my list if they happen to be there.
I don’t think you can call dibs until you are pregnant. Sorry.
Honestly, until you’re pregnant, you really can’t call dibs. If these other couples truly love these names, why should they have to pass them up? They could pass up the boy name they really love, and then you might never have a boy. Then what? Or by the time you finally do get pregnant and have a boy, you could change your mind on the name, and have found something you love even more. THAT would be a total kick to the teeth. [name]Just[/name] let it be. Honestly, names like [name]Jonah[/name] and [name]Levi[/name] aren’t that original. People are using them ALL THE TIME now, so chances are your kids will know lots of [name]Levi[/name]'s and [name]Jonah[/name]'s, so it won’t be a huge deal if you and your friends kids have the same name. If you love a name for your baby, that’s all there is to it. It shouldn’t matter what your friends kids names are. And likewise, if they love a name for their baby, they shouldn’t be expected to pass it up cause you want to use it for your hypothetical future child. To expect them to do that is slightly childish and very selfish.
it was very late when i wrote that last night it it was really written out of an emotional rection to another friend’s announcement of expecting a baby. you are right…it is childish and i have no right to influence another person’s choice of their child’s name. that isn’t really what i was trying to say. and when i said “we” aren’t ready for a baby, i really meant my husband isn’t ready for a baby so really this while thing stems from jealousy and being impatient.
that being said, jonah and levi are off the table. they have been for a long time really so i don’t know why i was so upset about it. for some reason i felt i had “claimed” them. it’s totally ridiculous, i know. i just have such a stong emotional connection to the names i love because they represent a dream. the dream of motherhood and family and a lifelong relationship with children who i just haven’t met yet. and no, it really wouldn’t matter if even a close friend used a name i love, but i suppose my selfish heart would cause me to be, at leat initially, upset that they are somehow taking away from the “specialness” of my children. i suppose clinging to names and ideas is just how i deal with having to wait for my little bundles of dreams come true.
[name]Don[/name]'t feel badly at all! The feelings you describe are totally understandable and I sympathize with the dilemma. As some previous posters have said, I would go ahead and name your children anything you want. Friends having children with the same name can always be worked out (individualized nicknames just between the families, etc.) It is a little different perhaps for cousins with the same name.
Again, don’t feel badly. It is normal and good to have hopes and dreams about your kids – and choosing their names is a major part of that dream. Being emotional about it is a sign that you really care. It’s natural to want to [name]LOVE[/name] the names you use and to feel disappointment when someone uses a name that was special to you. The feelings themselves are natural and do not mean that you are childish or selfish! It does not sound like you are out there trying to control anybody. You just came on Nameberry to express the fears and feelings in your heart. That is what we are here for. I hope you get to use the names you love and that your dreams all come true!
Keep in touch with us about your situation! Good luck!
I second [name]Ever[/name]! I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to vent here! (And for what it’s worth, if you no longer like [name]Jonah[/name] and [name]Levi[/name] as first names, you could always use them in the middle.)
I hope that when it comes time for you to have your babies, you are able to choose from a looooong list of names you absolutely love. (((HUG)))))
Have a good night!
thanks so much! i figured someone on here could sympathize with my situation.
i love the idea of using my previous favorites as middle names for the boys…no clue on first names though…any suggestions? just looking for some ideas…i won’t get my heart set on anything quite yet!
my favorite girls names are lydia claire, charlotte eloise and eliza june. i know these names are pretty popular in the nameberry world but i think they are still somewhat unique yet familiar if that makes sense…
any ideas for potential brothers?
Oooh! I love your list!
Some brother names for [name]Lydia[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name], and [name]Eliza[/name]:
All the best [name]July[/name] we understand, and if you want help with baby names you know we will help you, but your girl names are awesome, so I suppose you won’t need much help.
Take care, and here is a big hug from me (a grandmother) for you.