Four years ago, my son’s name would have been [name]Caroline[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] if he had been a girl. The whole family was aware as we were very open about the names that we were considering. One year later, when my sister in law gave birth to her first daughter, she kept the name a secret until the baby was born. The name she chose: [name]Caroline[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name]. We were heartbroken.
When I found out I was having a girl with my second child, it took us a [name]LONG[/name] time to decide on a name. Her name: [name]Elizabeth[/name] “[name]Eliza[/name]” [name]Cate[/name] which we [name]LOVE[/name] and the name suits her perfectly!
Now pregnant with our second girl, we would love to revisit using the name [name]Caroline[/name] again…
Is it ok for us to name our daughter the same first name as their daughter with a different middle name (they will be 4 years apart and have different last names)?
Also, we live 600 miles apart and see each other 2-3 times per year.
Hmm, I think it is sort of rude that she stole your name if she knew that it was a name you loved and could possibly be using in the future. If it doesn’t bother you having someone else called by your daughter’s name then I would say go for it. Personally though, I think it would bother me and I would save [name]Caroline[/name] for a middle.
First of all, that’s absolutely horrible! I’m very hestitant of sharing the names I choose with anyone but close family, or on here for input from othr moms. But having someone steal the name that you loved so much would have most likely enraged me. Please tell me you confronted her/your sibling who is married to her about it. That’s just a low blow.
I wouldn’t revisit [name]Caroline[/name] if I were you. Because eventhough you adore the name, you’ll always be thinking of how your sister-in-law stole the right name for you. And it’s best that your baby have a name that is fully hers, not one that she would have to share with her cousin, regardless of the distance you live from each other.
[name]Eliza[/name] [name]Cate[/name] is gorgeous, and I think some other names that would go well with it and also are the same style as [name]Caroline[/name] are:
[name]Lydia[/name]
[name]Olivia[/name]
[name]Jane[/name]
[name]Marianne[/name]
[name]Rose[/name]
[name]Amelia[/name]
Good luck and I’m sure you’ll find a name that will suit your second baby girl perfectly!
Thanks for the advice:) It is my husband’s sister so I didn’t feel like I was in the right place to say anything about it, I didn’t really need to as my in laws have been really open about it. I agree with not wanting my daughter to have to share anything with her cousin. Additional names we are considering: [name]Amelia[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name], and [name]Julia[/name]!
I wouldn’t use [name]Caroline[/name] if I were you, I love [name]Julia[/name] for you though. Have you any other ideas for your second daughter? What is your son called?
No you can’t. And I’m sorry and it sucks and it is not fair. But it will just look like you are copying her People will not remember you originally loved [name]Caroline[/name] and the fact you already have a daughter who shares the other childs middle name. It will just seem as if you are trying to emulate this woman and I know that is the last impression you want to give to family. Also, by now the name has got be associated with some bitter feelings for you with what has happened. Start with a clean slate and move on.
I wouldn’t use [name]Caroline[/name] either! What a horrible thing to do. I love [name]Charlotte[/name].
Other c name suggestions:
[name]Camilla[/name]
[name]Cecilia[/name] or [name]Celia[/name]
[name]Catherine[/name]
[name]Carlotta[/name]
[name]Celeste[/name]
[name]Clementine[/name]
[name]Cordelia[/name]
[name]Coralie[/name]
Names with -line:
[name]Madeleine[/name]
[name]Emmeline[/name]
[name]Adeline[/name]
That was really, really low. I mean just plain nasty. Part of me wants to say it was your name first so use it, but honestly it would probably be better to leave it in the past and start with a clean slate. Best wishes.
OK, I had to reply because the SAME thing happened to me!! It honestly took me a looong time to get over it. My [name]SIL[/name] stole the name [name]Lily[/name]-[name]Anne[/name] from me about 3 yrs ago, knowing full well that was our girl pick had our first been a girl. And now we are preggo with a girl. We also were open with our name choices…you can bet we have NOT been open this time around (we haven’t even told my DH’s parents)!! To top it off, she completely mars the name by calling her daughter “[name]Lil[/name],” which I totally hate and feel wastes the beautiful name [name]Lily[/name]. [name]Just[/name] a little venting there! Now I feel it’s for the best since [name]Lily[/name] is a little too popular for me now. Oh well. (As a side note, when their son was born just over a yr later, they used a name that a cousin in the family had [name]JUST[/name] used for their son less than a yr before that! [name]How[/name] weird is that?? I guess they can’t come up with their own names!)
I think you have to do what you’re comfortable with. If you feel fine about naming your daughter [name]Caroline[/name], I’d say go for it. It’s not like people where you live will wonder why you named her the same as her cousin, since y’all live so far apart, and as for people in their hometown, who cares? You obviously see the inlaws and their town very little. Having said that, it sounds like you may be ready to move on to different names, and I love your other options. [name]Amelia[/name] and [name]Julia[/name] are my very fav’s of your 3, but [name]Charlotte[/name] is beautiful too. Best wishes!
As much as you are comfortable using [name]Caroline[/name], your daughter will likely not be comfortable with that name. I say explore other options. I liked the suggestion [name]Adeline[/name], and it goes well with [name]Eliza[/name].
Ok, this might sound God awful…
If you are ok with using the name, I wouldn’t worry about how your sister-in-law feels about it, she wasn’t terribly concerned about the matter when she stole the name in the first place. I don’t think your daughter will mind sharing her name with a cousin several years older than her whom she only sees a couple times a year. That’s just me two cents.
[name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Cate[/name] and [name]Amelia[/name] [name]Charlotte[/name] would make lovely siblings. Like [name]Caroline[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name] is actually another female form of [name]Charles[/name]. So in a way, whether you use [name]Charlotte[/name] as a first name or in the middle, you’re thumbing your nose at the woman who had the nerve to steal your name.
The (almost) same thing happened to me with the name [name]Nina[/name]! I made the mistake of sharing the name I picked while she was VERY pregnant and I still didn’t know the gender of my baby. Since she had her girl twins before I knew if I was having a girl her and her husband justified it to themselves that taking the name was OK. Luckily I had been just as open with everyone else about the name [name]Nina[/name] so it wasn’t just me being shocked and upset all alone!
I won’t be using [name]Nina[/name] for this baby, but if I were pregnant again with another girl years later I would consider using it if I still loved it just as much. I wouldn’t worry about people thinking you got the name from her- you know the truth and that’s what matters.
For me it helped to think of all of the negatives of the name that got ‘stolen’ from me so I have convinced myself that [name]Nina[/name] isn’t as great as I thought it was! Sorry for venting, but maybe something in there will help you with your situation!!
I feel using [name]Caroline[/name] is just fine. Living so far apart…let it go. Enjoy the name. My family has several [name]Dana[/name]'s and [name]Eileen[/name]'s. No bickering, no stealing that i know of just everyone liked the names. It was considered a compliment.
Oh geez, [name]Line[/name]? Wow. That is pathetic. It’s like [name]Lil[/name] for [name]Lily[/name]. Ugh. I think this has been a therapeutic thread for me…
I learned my lesson the hard way too. A cousin of mine is expecting a girl and is using my girl name that I have had picked for years. I’m sorry that happened to you! [name]Eliza[/name] [name]Cate[/name] is super super cute!! So I’m pretty confident that even if you didn’t go with [name]Caroline[/name], you would come up with something great. In my opinion, use it if you love it and not worry about anything else! I have several family members cousins, uncles, etc. who share the same name or middle name (living in the same city and sharing mutual friends) and it hasn’t really been an issue.
Now I feel it’s for the best since [name]Lily[/name] is a little too popular for me now. Oh well. (As a side note, when their son was born just over a yr later, they used a name that a cousin in the family had [name]JUST[/name] used for their son less than a yr before that! [name]How[/name] weird is that?? I guess they can’t come up with their own names!)