I could really use some advice, not on a baby name, but my own. My husband and I are TTC and I have become name obsessed lately. The more name research I do, the more I am reminded of how I dislike my own name-
[name_f]Erin[/name_f]. I like my first and middle together ([name_f]Erin[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]), but I don’t like [name_f]Erin[/name_f] on its own for me. I’ve never felt like it fit me. I am very girly and I don’t feel like [name_f]Erin[/name_f] suits that very well. It’s very Irish- (a nickname for [name_f]Ireland[/name_f]) and I’m not at all Irish by blood. My parents just liked it. Unfortunately it sounds just like the more common boy name [name_m]Aaron[/name_m], which has always made me feel uncomfortable. Honestly I could live with it before, but now I’m married and I have a brother-in-law named [name_m]Aaron[/name_m]. So by sound, we have the same first and last name. My brother-in-law and I are actually pretty close and good friends but it is EXTREMELY confusing to be around him… 
I know it would hurt my parents if I switched it. Spending so much time on my own baby names I can understand that, but I also want to be happy and it’s making me miserable. I wouldn’t do anything drastic. I’d either ask people to call me the full [name_f]Erin[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] (which is a mouthful and still doesn’t make me completely happy) or switch the first name to something with a similar sound. [name_f]Arianne[/name_f] for example. (Although [name_f]MIL[/name_f]'s name is [name_f]Anne[/name_f] so that only slightly helps…) I can’t go by [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] (have a friend with that name) can’t go by [name_f]Beth[/name_f] (that’s an aunt). I feel like I’m having a identity crisis or something! Am I being nuts? Should I just tough it out? Or is it appropriate to make a change in this situation? Help!
I absolutely think this is a situation where you should do what would make you happiest! I don’t know if you legally want to change your name, but certainly introducing yourself by another name seems like a happy compromise. [name_m]Just[/name_m] be aware that for people who’ve known you as [name_f]Erin[/name_f] forever, it might be hard for them to make a switch. But do you! Your name is something you have with you everyday–might as well be happy with it.
I’m against changing your name unless there are extreme circumstances, such as a gender change, traumatic event, or something drastic like that. [name_m]Just[/name_m] not liking your name isn’t enough for me. Your parents obviously named you [name_f]Erin[/name_f] for a reason, and they love your name. Everyone you know, knows you as [name_f]Erin[/name_f]. I don’t think [name_f]Erin[/name_f] is masculine at all, no more than [name_u]Jessie[/name_u]/[name_u]Jesse[/name_u] or any other name like that. The good thing is that [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] has soooo many nicknames.
[name_f]Ellie[/name_f]
[name_f]Eliza[/name_f]
[name_f]Liz[/name_f]
[name_f]Lizzie[/name_f]
[name_f]Libby[/name_f]
[name_f]Zibby[/name_f]
[name_f]Lily[/name_f]
[name_f]Beth[/name_f]
[name_u]Lisa[/name_u]
[name_f]Betty[/name_f]
[name_f]Betsy[/name_f]
[name_f]Erinna[/name_f] was the name of an ancient Greek poet. It might be derived from Greek êrinos = “spring,” or from hêrôs = “hero” + -inna, a feminine suffix (cf. [name_f]Corinna[/name_f]).
I see it as a more feminine [name_f]Erin[/name_f]. Anyway, just a thought. 
ETA: According to Wikipedia, the poet Erinna “is also sometimes named Erina.” This reminded me of the Russian Arina or Irina, which would also make sense for you. Obviously, I think you should go for it if that’s what you want; it’s your name and your life, not your parents’. 
I would say not to change it on paper and it probably won’t mess too much with your parents feelings.
I would think that when you have a child you’ll mostly go by mom so you’ll notice it’s not as much of an issue… There are lots of things you could come up with just from your name.
[name_f]Erin[/name_f] [name_f]Elisabeth[/name_f]
[name_u]Erie[/name_u]
[name_f]Rina[/name_f]
[name_f]Rea[/name_f]
[name_m]Ron[/name_m]
[name_u]Ronnie[/name_u]
Ellibeth
[name_f]Elle[/name_f]
[name_f]Ellie[/name_f]
[name_f]Liza[/name_f]
[name_f]Eliza[/name_f]
[name_f]Liz[/name_f]
Some combo things where you play around but things people may see as a natural shift. Like when people shift toward and against nns through their lives.
My name is [name_f]Eryn[/name_f], and it too always bothered me how [name_m]Aaron[/name_m] and [name_f]Erin[/name_f] are alike (however, they are not alike with my accent so it’s only ever bothered me when American friends or American TV shows/movies pronounce [name_f]Erin[/name_f] like [name_m]Aaron[/name_m]) but I don’t really call your reasons good ones to completely shake up your life. I also don’t see how [name_m]Aaron[/name_m] and [name_f]Erin[/name_f] being similar is such a huge deal breaker, it’s a girl’s name that sounds like a boy’s but unisex names are used all the time and there’s no issue there? I am not Irish, my parents just liked my name too (I was named after [name_f]Erin[/name_f] [name_m]Walton[/name_m] from The Waltons), and I think [name_f]Erin[/name_f] is a versatile name. It isn’t frilly, it isn’t boyish, it’s in the middle. It suits anyone with any personality, lifestyle, taste etc.
When I began my name-obsessed journey, I too felt like my name wasn’t right, but the novelty of being able to change my name and having all of these great names to choose from soon wore off. Sure, there are hundreds of names that probably suit me better, but they’re not my name and I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable as something else. For nearing on 20 years of my life, I have been [name_f]Eryn[/name_f] and my name is a huge part of me so unless I had an extreme reason (e.g. gender reassignment or for my own safety, like Witness Protection) I would never change it.
Would you consider [name_f]Irene[/name_f] (also spelled [name_f]Eirene[/name_f])? It’s different but not overly so.
Otherwise I like something like [name_f]Erin[/name_f]-[name_f]Eliza[/name_f] or [name_f]Erin[/name_f]-[name_f]Elise[/name_f] or [name_f]Erin[/name_f]-[name_f]Elsa[/name_f]/ie.
There’s also [name_f]Eira[/name_f] or [name_f]Eris[/name_f], or maybe going by [name_f]Rin[/name_f]?
I don’t know if you changed your last name when you got married, but legally changing your name (especially your first name!) is such a headache that I can’t even imagine contemplating it without a very serious reason. A new nickname is a lot more reasonable, and I think some of the ideas already mentioned could work well. However, I think you could get some resistance — most people in your life are not overanalyzing whether your name fits you perfectly, and many people don’t especially like their own names. Insisting on a change could be off-putting or alarming to people, like getting drastic plastic surgery. It’s probably worth floating by the family members you think would be most supportive, since their support would be crucial even for a new nickname.
Also, good luck in TTC! That can be a really stressful time.
Absolutely keep [name_f]Erin[/name_f]! I also don’t like name changes unless there are special or tragic circumstances. [name_f]Erin[/name_f] is a beutiful traditional name. I don’t find it remotely masculine. I think it’s a sweet dainty name.
Thank you for the replies, but they are making me feel more confused. I agree that a legal name change is drastic. I don’t really want to go through all the name change stuff again- getting my husbands last name was enough work. I guess a nickname will do. But I NEED something. I just want everyone to realize that I’m with my husband’s family a lot- like multiple times a week. We are very close. I’m constantly being referred to as “the other [name_f]Erin[/name_f]” “[name_m]John[/name_m]'s [name_f]Erin[/name_f]” ([name_m]John[/name_m] is my husband) or “the girl [name_f]Erin[/name_f]”. I just want to be my own person. Not the “other one” or just someone belonging to her husband. My brother in law and I also occasionally get the joking nicknames of “A-a-[name_m]Ron[/name_m]” vs “Ear-in” to tell us apart. Not flattering. I already struggle with low self esteem, and the name issue with my husband’s family makes it worse. So to everyone telling to just stick with [name_f]Erin[/name_f], I’m sure I will around my family, but I need to go by something else around my husbands family so I’m not just the “other one”… Thanks.
If you don’t feel comfortable using [name_f]Erin[/name_f] that is fine. I just don’t think you should LEGALLY change your name. Going by a nickname works fine. As I said in my earlier post, [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] has so many great nicknames that there is something for everyone
It sounds like maybe this needs to be a conversation with your husband, or with his family if you’re all close. Because that completely makes sense that it’s demeaning to be called “other [name_f]Erin[/name_f],” “girl [name_f]Erin[/name_f],” etc., but maybe they don’t realize that. It seems perfectly reasonable to have a nickname you use around that side of the family — and I don’t think [name_f]Erin[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] is asking too much of them, if that seems the most natural.
I would try going by [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] or a diminutive of [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]…
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] [name_f]Erin[/name_f]!
I’m a writer and social scientist. When I changed my name, I decided (after years of “trying on” various things I liked) to make my first name an honor name. However, instead of going with a family member, I chose a nod to my favorite fictional character. She (and the show she was on) were really vital in getting me through a lot of this messy identity stuff, since this person was also someone I relate to a great deal. I started this with “I’m a writer and social scientist” because I do realize that not everyone interacts with media so closely, but I’d think about whether or not there is anyone like that for you! I made a list, before it clicked for me: influential characters, authors, favorite Old Hollywood actresses, you name it. It wasn’t important to me that my name was a favorite, it was just important-- after a lifetime of living with something terrible for me, emotionally-- that it really felt like it was mine. So I’d suggest looking to whatever you do for fun and what’s shaped you into the person you are. With any luck, you’ll find a nickname that isn’t especially name-y (think “[name_u]Scout[/name_u]” coming from [name_u]Jean[/name_u] [name_f]Louise[/name_f] in To Kill A Mockingbird) so you won’t feel like you have to go through all that legal hassle.
If you want to actually legally change your name, you’re a fully grown adult and you should go for it. Of course it probably is a pain in the ass, but if you’re that unhappy, I would fully support you if I was one of your family members.
There are a lot of great nickname suggestions on here, and of course if you don’t want the legal hassle, you should absolutely try that out. I went by a couple nicknames throughout my childhood.
What I’m not understanding is how there are replies on here saying that they don’t agree with it and you shouldn’t unless it’s a dire emergency. They’re not living with the name and don’t understand what you’re going through and feeling everyday.
I understand how it is to hate your name. I changed mine when I was about 11. Granted, there were a couple other factors, but the bottom line is that I hated it (it was unisex and so flippin’ ugly) and I wanted something meant for a girl. I’m also extremely girly.
Also, if I were a parent, I would most certainly support my son or daughter if they wanted to change their name, no matter how many months of searching I put in to it. It wouldn’t be mine, it would be theirs. Children are people, not pets.
Your parents should understand, and if they don’t, explain it to them.