I’m curious to know what others think, in general, of name changes. It’s something I’ve been seriously contemplating, myself, and has really consumed my train of thought for over a month. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but never seriously thought I would until recently. I’ve noticed it’s been a popular topic of conversation on here lately, and that many users are considering this process as well. So out of curiosity, what is your general opinion on name changes? [name]Do[/name] you think it’s weird?
If you’re considering changing your name as well, why is it that you want to? What is it that you would change it to? Would you still keep part of your birth name? Why or why not?
Where I live (Germany) it’s not allowed unless you have good reasons (you have to prove you suffer under your name). I think it’s okay for an adult to change their name, but I really don’t like it if people want to change their kid’s name (not allowed here either). Most of the time these parents think about themselves more than about the person who has this name, I think.
I decided I wanted to change my name a little over a year ago mainly because I’ve never liked my name, my name’s waaay too common, and my name just doesn’t feel right anymore. I do second guess myself sometimes though because I worry about how others will react, but now that I’ve decided to do it I can’t imagine not doing it. I don’t think that it’s a weird thing to do but a lot of other people probably do-- I personally don’t see anything wrong with having a name that you love and that feels right.
@watermellie- I can definitely see what you mean. I’m only considering changing my first name with my middle name. Or going by a longer version of a nickname I’ve gone by for a long time.
@taylorblueskye- That’s so interesting! So it’s not allowed at all? Out of curiosity, how many days do parents get to officially name their newborn?
@jessica123- I definitely understand where you’re coming from. I, too, have never liked my birth name, and had one of the most common names from the year I was born. It doesn’t help that I’ve seen my birth name on many of “trashy” name lists or associations. It’s gotten to the point to where I can’t stand when anyone calls me by it and when I introduce myself I feel borderline ashamed. Congrats on figuring out that its completely right for you!
I’ve changed my name legally, the entire thing. I went for something completely different than what I had, shock be damned. Though in my case for the first name I went from a more unusual name to a more common name. Main reason was I disliked my name for 18 years, I cringed when I’d hear it, hardly anyone would pronounce or spell it correctly, they were always mistaking it for other names.
I am not considering changing my name - I’m not in love with it, but I don’t mind it. However, I support anyone who does choose to change their name. And though I’ve said it many times elsewhere - as a college instructor, I can tell you that my students do it fairly regularly. They’re finally of age, they’re in a supportive environment (admittedly, a liberal arts college is a great environment - it might be different if you were in, say, engineering school), and they get to choose something that makes them happy. As college instructors, we’re all used to it, and most of us are supportive.
I don’t think it’s weird. I’ve never identified with my legal name and I clearly remember being in grade 2 and looking for alternative names for myself. Luckily it was just a 3-year wait until [name]Hanson[/name] happened and my best friend at the time started calling me [name]Lucy[/name]. It wasn’t a name I’d ever have considered myself, but it clicked on me. When I was 18, I had the papers all printed to change it, but never got around to it due to high school grad and university applications. Then, it got put off because of university, passports, visas, foreign national identity cards… and then another round of visas and foreign ID, and then another degree, soooo it’s just complicated to change your name during all the paperwork I’ve been dealing with for the past 5 years.
I have a mix of people knowing me by my legal name and by [name]Lucy[/name]. Professionally I use my legal name just because that’s what all my official documents have, but with anyone who isn’t an employer or a co-worker, then I usually introduce the [name]Lucy[/name] thing and it catches on pretty well.
My recently-made friends all tell me I should change my first name when I get married. I’m not sure how much a difference it would make to me now. To me, I’ve been a [name]Lucy[/name] for the past 15 years, and while I used to hate my legal name, I’m just so disconnected from it I don’t even care any more, haha.
I’m totally pro-name changing. I don’t think it’s weird. It can be touchy, and other people can think it’s weird and that can suck to deal with, but I’m very much for it and I’d love to legally change my name.
@scarlettrobin- Very brave of you! I’m interested to know, how did your family handle the change? Does everyone call you by your name, now? [name]How[/name] did you break the news? Would love to hear your experience with it, if you would like to share that is.
@selenea- Really? That’s surprising to me. I never thought that changing your name legally would be fairly common. In terms of college, is it difficult to have your name changed and deal with school records? That’s something I’m extremely worried about as I’m a junior in college. I’m only considering changing my name to [name]Elizabeth[/name], which is my birth middle name. I’ve always felt connected to the name, and I love that it’s timeless. It was my favorite part of my name since I remember learning how to spell my name as a child.
@lucialucentum- I was exactly the same way as a kid. That’s what I’m worried about the most is having to change a lot of paperwork, especially with schools and how that whole process would work. I’ve heard others complain at my college when they got married and how hard it was to change it with the school.
I think it completely makes sense, especially if you already “go by” a middle name or nickname more than your legal name. [name]One[/name] of my relatives was given the same first name as her mother and was always called by her middle name to differentiate between the two. She legally dropped her first name and made her middle name her first name when she was in her fifties, and says she wishes she’d done it sooner.
It wasn’t so much that I had to break the news, everyone who knew me knew I loathed hearing my own name. It had gotten so bad I’d avoid calling other people by their names just to try and avoid having them refer to me by my name because hearing it would make me cringe. So it was no secret I wanted to change my name.
My mom was completely fine with it, she even helped me pick out a new name. My dad was a bit upset, but he got over it quickly and didn’t have a problem calling me by my new name. The people who did have trouble and/or where very upset about the whole thing were relatives who barely knew me and/or hardly had any contact with me, so their reactions and opinions didn’t particularly concern me.
After a decade though, no one calls me by my old name. The only time I have to even mention it is on legal paperwork were I have to list my alias’. Oddly enough, it’s a family tradition, my grandfather legally changed his first name back in the 1930’s, after all that time no one ever called him by his original name, most people didn’t even know he had a different name. My dad hated his first name and went by his middle name all his life but he’d never bothered to legally change his name.
I guess fairly common is subjective, but I would say one or two of my students change their name every year just because they want a different name (so, not including the ones who change their name and gender).
I hear that in Women’s Studies departments, it’s much more common than it is in mine (Humanities and Classics). They tend to have up to one student in each class change a name. It’s particularly common for people to change their name from an English name to a name that honours their ethnic heritage, but that’s not the only reason students change names. At the same time, name changes are much less common in something like Political [name]Science[/name], or any of the more conservative social sciences. They still happen, though.
In terms of college transcripts, it depends where you live. In Germany, it’s impossible. In most places, though, it’s very easy. There have been court cases in some jurisdictions, I believe brought forward by trans students, that have established a college’s responsibility to honour the name change and to change any records required. [name]Even[/name] in a given jurisdiction, though, it can be much more difficult at one college than another.
If you’re at college, I would find out what your college’s policies are. If they don’t have them online, you can call the registrar’s office. They have a responsibility to tell you how it works, and trust me, it’s almost certainly a question they get all the time.
I’m planning on changing my entire name.
Reasons: I never loved by first name, and I want a first name I’d love and be happy so say. I’m tired of mispronunciations, misspellings, being asked “how do you say it”? It’s also tied to my history and it doesn’t bring happy feelings or memories. [name]Just[/name] negative ones. I want a fresh start in my life, and I want a fresh name too. And if I ever become famous some day, (lol) I want it to be a lovely name that I’d be happy for the whole world to know, not one I dread saying/writing/seeing.
I might keep my second middle name, [name]Laurel[/name], but my first is going because I don’t like it at all. And my double-barraled last name is going because I don’t like either of them that much to keep, and I have too much negativity attached to it.
Right now I have three ideas: [name]Aria[/name], [name]Lesley[/name], [name]Ava[/name]
The way I see it, is you only live once, why not have a name you like?
@ellieclarke, yeah the paperwork is what scares me off of changing my name the most, too. I’m just not that desperate to change my name that I’m willing to pay for it when I can just introduce myself with a different name and have almost the same result. Plus, I don’t want to go through the process for doing by first name and then have to do it all again when I get married. All my school application papers have a place for “Name you go by (if different from first name)” so maybe check with your school to see if it’s possible to put a different first name on file. I was actually in a class in first year with a girl whose legal name is [name]Cordelia[/name] but she goes by [name]Jenn[/name] (kinda sad, I know, haha). [name]One[/name] the first day, when the prof did attendance, she just said, “Call me ‘[name]Jenn[/name]’” and that was that.
In my experience, having my name changed on facebook has made a huge difference. People want to know the story and have been more sensitive to it, I’ve found. Everyone I’ve met recently (since changing my name on fb last year) have been especially receptive to calling me [name]Lucy[/name] instead, so maybe try that out?
I’d love to change mine, I just don’t think I’d ever have the courage to do it. My full name is [name]Ana[/name], and I never go by [name]Ana[/name]. I go by Nussy or [name]Nessie[/name] or just N and I’m called [name]Ana[/name] just by people who have seen my papers.I have been willing to change it for [name]Anna[/name] since I was like 5 but it turned out being such a pain in the ass that i can’t imagine what would happen if I decide to change it for a completely different name.
A friend of mine who was going [name]Anna[/name] btw wanted to change hers for years, she just hated her birth name. Her parents didn’t do the best job naming her, her full name being [name]Angharad[/name] [name]Lee[/name]. She changed it when she got married to [name]Hannah[/name] [name]Gerta[/name] [name]Leigh[/name] and she adores it. Her parents were very very mad, her relatives were shocked but waters got calm eventually.
I think I’m the odd one out here. I grew up hating it, I mean, hating, and it was no secret to my parents (and whole family, really) that I planned on changing it when I was legally able to. But by the time I got around to looking for a “new name” when I was around 18/19, ugh (I’m still mad at myself for this, lol!), I fell in love with my name! And I love [name]Ashley[/name] now. I kind of feel cheated that I didn’t get to go through the whole process that I was so looking forward to doing, and I still am not crazy about my MN, but [name]Ashley[/name] suits me to a T and even when trying out other names ([name]Lela[/name], [name]Lise[/name], [name]Hannah[/name], [name]Eleanor[/name], [name]Lillian[/name], [name]Annabel[/name], etc.), I just realized none of them fit me at all, and I felt myself becoming someone I didn’t want to be when I thought of myself as “[name]Eleanor[/name]” or “[name]Lela[/name]” or whatever. I’m kind of sad that my name is so popular for my age group, so trendy, so unisex, and that the stereotype of an [name]Ashley[/name] is probably the total opposite of who I am, but I still love [name]Ashley[/name], and I couldn’t give it up. I had thought of changing my MN when I get married, and I think [name]Ashley[/name] [name]Eleanor[/name] [name]Grace[/name] suits me really well, but then just a couple weeks ago, I found out that two of my great aunts had the MN [name]Marie[/name], which is my MN, so I’ve warmed up to being [name]Ashley[/name] [name]Marie[/name] a lot. I wouldn’t change it, boring as it is, and somehow it’s me.
For a brief while, I had considered using a nn that was sort of a stretch from my name (like [name]Lela[/name] and [name]Lise[/name]), but I felt like taking on those names made me feel like I was someone I’m not, so I think I’ll probably just be [name]Ashley[/name] from now on, haha. I have every respect for people who change their names, though.
I’ve always gone by my middle name ([name]Alice[/name]). I don’t like my first name at all. I have considered changing it when I get married since I will have to change my last name. I was thinking about doing [name]Alice[/name]- My current Last Name - My Fiance’s Last Name and dropping my first name all together. So I think if you need to change it go for it. [name]Just[/name] make sure the new name is the one you really want to identify with.
