My husband and I fell in love with a name before I realized it was the name my first cousin gave her angel baby. Now, we’re struggling to find another name that we love. I would never use the name without first asking my cousin for her permission . . . but my question is whether or not it’s fair to her to even ask? I would just write it off if we could easily find another name, but for us, it’s the one that seemed like “it.”
My cousin and I aren’t incredibly close – we see one another once a year, I sent her gifts for all of her babies, etc. But, my parents live in the same small city as my cousin and her parents.
I think it would be fine to ask! She might even feel like you want to honor her lost little one, but you’ll never know if you don’t give it a try right?
I wouldn’t. I would say yes if her child was alive, but there’s probably a lot of heartache behind the name. Maybe you can use it as a middle name and you can tell her it’s in memory of her baby.
That’s a tough one. It would be so hard to give up a name that feels like “the one,” but I think I’d be afraid of hurting her, to be honest.
Maybe it comes down to your cousin’s personality and emotional state. If she’s fragile, I think I’d give up the name without asking her about it. If she’s okay, I’d talk to her and feel out her reaction.
I think it also depends on the name. If the name is [name]Elizabeth[/name], it seems less like you’re stealing her name than if the name is [name]Clementine[/name]. But in general, I agree with pp that it depends on her emotional state, and it may be more appropriate in a middle name spot.
I wouldn’t use or ask to use it as a first, at the most I would ask to use it as a middle to honor her baby. Otherwise it would be too painful. [name]Imagine[/name] you loved this name first and gave it to your angel baby and then your cousin names her healthy growing child the same. [name]Every[/name] time the family mentions the child or you see it would be devastating. I would personally be insulted if someone asked me this.
It IS tough (which I guess is why you’re writing). There is a very real danger that, if you ask, she’s going to say no – and then you’re going to feel like a real heel if you go ahead and use the name. On the other hand, if you just use it, she may feel hurt or angry and confront you or your parents but then you can just say, I’m sorry you feel that way, but we love the name and it was the one for us. Chances are she’ll get over it.
I guess the real question is, Which would you rather risk losing, your favorite name or your cousin’s goodwill? The bottom line is that if you ask you, you need to be willing to give up the name if she says she really doesn’t want you to use it. And if you go ahead and use the name without asking, you have to be willing to put up with a family feud. It may be that neither unpleasant thing happens – she might give you her blessing to use the name, or she might be fine with it if you go ahead without asking permission. But if you ask, it is the same as asking permission so you need to be ready to back off if she says no.
Thanks for the insight. I thought we should just let them name go, but my husband (who of course barely knows my cousin) loves the name so much, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing an opportunity to use it. We’ll move on and hope to discover another name soon.
[name]Pam[/name] – Thank you for your thoughts! If I asked and she said no, there’s no way I would use the name. I really don’t want to cause friction in the family – and certainly don’t want my daughter to be in the middle of some feud that she had nothing to do with. I think we’ll just try to find another name. If anyone has suggestions that are similar to [name]Cecelia[/name], I’m all ears.
[name]Cecelia[/name] is such a pretty name but there are actually similar names I like more. [name]Cordelia[/name], [name]Delia[/name], and [name]Adelia[/name] are great. [name]Celia[/name] and [name]Cecily[/name] might be too close. Here are other forms of [name]Cecelia[/name]/[name]Cecilia[/name]: [name]Silje[/name] (Danish) [name]Silja[/name] (Finnish) Cécile (French) [name]Caecilia[/name] ([name]German[/name]) Síle (Irish) [name]Cecylia[/name] (Polish) Sìleas (Scottish) [name]Cecilija[/name], [name]Cilka[/name] (Slovene) [name]Sisel[/name], [name]Zisel[/name] (Yiddish)
I can think of a few names that I think are similar to [name]Cecilia[/name] one way or the other.
[name]Catriona[/name]
[name]Christabel[/name]
[name]Tallulah[/name]
[name]Mariana[/name]
[name]Ciel[/name]
[name]Dahlia[/name]
and this might be too close but [name]Sicily[/name]
I’m sorry about your situation! There’s a lot of good names similar to [name]Cecilia[/name] though Maybe you’d like:
[name]Cecily[/name]
[name]Celia[/name]
[name]Amelia[/name]
[name]Olivia[/name]
Other names you might like:
[name]Sadie[/name]
[name]Sophia[/name]
[name]Delia[/name]
[name]Delilah[/name]
[name]Dahlia[/name]
[name]Viviana[/name]
[name]Alexia[/name]
[name]Eliza[/name]
[name]Elise[/name]
[name]Marie[/name]
[name]Andrea[/name]
[name]Catharine[/name]
[name]Catarina[/name]
[name]Ariana[/name]
[name]Elisabetta[/name]
[name]Caroline[/name]
[name]Lila[/name]
[name]Cecelia[/name] is a very beautiful name, maybe if you are not sure about using it as a first name because of your cousin, you could use it as a middle name in her honor? What about some of these names they may be kind of like [name]Cecelia[/name]…
[name]Lucia[/name]
[name]Aurora[/name]
[name]Claire[/name]/[name]Clare[/name]/[name]Clara[/name]
[name]Cora[/name]
[name]Lilah[/name]
[name]Amelia[/name]
[name]Caroline[/name]
[name]Charlotte[/name]
[name]Violet[/name]
[name]Lena[/name]
[name]Leah[/name]/[name]Lia[/name]
[name]Scarlett[/name]
[name]Coralie[/name]
I hope that I could help you, I’m so sorry for your cousins loss. I hope you find the perfect name for your daughter wether you use [name]Cecelia[/name] or not
That really is a gorgeous name, but of course it has the unfortunate meaning blind. If you can’t find another name you love as much, just remember the adage (similar to [name]Pam[/name]'s advice, I think): Sometimes it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
You might also love these, many of which have lovely, even heavenly, meanings:
[name]Arabella[/name]
[name]Aracelia[/name]
Aracelie
[name]Araminta[/name]
[name]Amabel[/name]
[name]Ananda[/name] (means blissful)
[name]Azalea[/name]
[name]Celestine[/name]
[name]Celestina[/name]
[name]Camille[/name]
[name]Camillia[/name]
[name]Clarity[/name]
[name]Eliora[/name]
[name]Eleanora[/name]
[name]Florenza[/name]
[name]Jacinda[/name]
[name]Jessamine[/name]
[name]Jessamy[/name]
[name]Jemima[/name]
[name]Josephine[/name]
[name]Leocadia[/name]
[name]Leonora[/name]
[name]Paloma[/name]
[name]Raphaela[/name]
[name]Rosalie[/name]
[name]Rosemary[/name]
[name]Serena[/name]
[name]Serafina[/name]
[name]Serendipity[/name]
Another factor that I haven’t seen brought up is how recent your cousin’s loss is. If it’s a fresh wound, or she has named no other babies, it will be harder to see the name used, I would think. If it’s been a few years, and she has other children, I would guess it might be OK. [name]Just[/name] things to consider. . .
This will be your child’s name throughout his/her life. Not your name or your cousin’s name. Your baby and her baby will eventually go their separate ways, creating their own lives with this name. And even when they’re together, I don’t think it would be a problem with them having the same name. It happens all the time. My only hesitation is, if both of these babies are going to have the same last name, that would be a little weird.
If they have different last names, go for it! If they have the same last names, I say pick a new name. Or use that favorite name as a middle name?
Thanks again for all of the suggestions! I few of the options suggested I really like:
[name]Camille[/name]/[name]Camilla[/name]
[name]Olivia[/name] (a little too popular for me, but DH will probably like it)
[name]Clara[/name]
DH’s name starts with an “A” and mine starts with a “B,” so I like the thought of our little girl being a “C” . . .
[name]Camille[/name] maybe? [name]Camilla[/name]?
[name]Selina[/name]? A variation of [name]Selina[/name] is [name]Cesia[/name].
[name]Cesya[/name] is a variation of [name]Alexandria[/name]
I’m glad you decided not to use it. I know that I personally would be extremly hurt about the situtation in your cousins shoes. hugs im sorry your loosing your name though.
Maybe you’d like: