Name dilemma-thoughts?

Not expecting, just thinking for the future. I have a cousin (significantly older than me) who is one of my least favorite people on the planet. I hardly ever see this person and will probably see him only a handful of times for the rest of my life. Dilemma is that his name is my absolute favorite boys’ name. I would use it in a heartbeat if not for him. The name is common enough that I have multiple associations for it (not just him), but do you think it would be too weird/illogical to use the name since he’s one of my least favorite people? Thanks!

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I personally would not use it, but it’s totally up to you and how much of an association you have with the name

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Personally, I wouldn’t do it. Unless you have someone else in your family with that name, people might assume you were honouring him, which could be awkward since you dislike him so much.

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[name_m]Ah[/name_m], yes, this is difficult and likely strongly dependent on your family dynamics. It sounds like this part of your family is not particularly close anyway? In that case, I’d probably use it since it’s common and you never see him. I think a simple “Oh, I just liked the name” or “Haha, it’s just a coincidence” is sufficient for family members who may wonder if it’s an honor without having dwell on your personal opinions of said cousin.

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oh, this is a tricky one. if it were me, i wouldn’t use it or maybe use it just in a middle name spot. whichever the name, i think the association to your cousin will always be the stronger connection comparing to the others you might have.

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depends on how much you hate him? i personally have blacklisted names associations i cannot recover from, i can barely use them for games, even. thankfully my favorite name has survived so far, but oof.

if you are able to see it past the connection and not have it hover over you as black cloud for the rest of your life, don’t let him ruin the name and use it happily. if it inevitably brings back memories, i say stay away. and ofc, should that be a very bad person who has badly wronged others within the family, definitely don’t do it (might be worth asking, i know that while i’d love the child, if they were named what bad bad people in my life were named, i might need to… steer clear of mentions of that kid, honestly.)

if you want help finding other names, you know we’re here to talk you into other options

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This is a great point to mention. I was assuming the dislike was due to annoyance, but if it’s for a more objectively problematic reason, I’d steer clear of using it.

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For me, I’m not sure I’d be able to use it, especially since it’s a relative and my family would have to bring it up. Idk, I just feel there’s so many other names out there that it wouldn’t be worth all the complications, weirdness and questions in this case

If you think you could handle that and disassociate it from the cousin, then sure, you could use it.

It depends a lot on the specifics of the situation for me. If, for example, most of the people on that side of the family are no longer living or you have such a large number of cousins it won’t be anyone’s first thought when they hear the name, then I’d say it’s fair game, but if your family is smaller and close enough that you see each other frequently, even if you don’t see that specific person as much, I probably wouldn’t, especially if there’s any possibility people might mistake it as an honor.

(As others said your own comfort levels are important too, but since you’re asking whether it would be weird or not I’ll assume you’ve already decided it’s an association you can overcome.)

Personally it would be a no for me! However I also picked names for my kiddos that I knew 0 people with that name.

I don’t think that’s weird at all. If you love the name, you should use the name! :blush:

Plus it sounds like your cousin doesn’t deserve to factor into this decision anyway.

This was my thought. Most of your family would probably assume you were honoring him.

Such a bummer!!