While I have loved names my whole life, I am new to Nameberry threads and I am perplexed by an idea that runs through so many of these threads: that of name pairing children.
I am curious when that became a commonplace concern among parents. Also, why did it become a big deal?
I don’t think my parents thought about this, nor my generation (I am in my early 50’s).
While I can see that it would be surprising (or at least noteworthy) to find 5 siblings named, say:
I also see that most of the concerned namers who write in are listing name possibilities that all sound fine together to me.
I am probably too imaginative, but there is something odd to me about creating paired sets of children with similar sounding names. After all, [name_m]Jake[/name_m] might turn out to be poet and [name_f]Wynonna[/name_f] an opera singer and [name_f]Mildred[/name_f] a punk rocker. Why the great concern?
I think the idea of “sibsets” is way more important on here than in real life.
While I do think it would be unusual to have a [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] and a [name_f]Magnolia[/name_f], it would quickly stop being so once you got to know the family. My daughter has a more unique name, but we are considering [name_m]William[/name_m] for #2, and not the least bit bothered by it - both have important family connotations for us.
I also worry about “counting your chickens before they hatch” - I debated saving my daughter’s middle name for a future first name, but who knows if I’ll have another daughter? Life is unpredictable, so I say name each kid as if it’s your only, and each subsequent name can adjust - not the other way around!
It seems like people want their children to have names that are “fair” compared to their siblings’. Of course all children are different and will grow up doing various things before they settle down, working in jobs that are the opposite of their sister’s or brother’s. However parents want their kids to have same chances in life, so they give them names with which their children will be treated equally (hope that makes sense). Let’s say twins apply for an Elite University, one is named [name_f]Rose[/name_f], they other Bracstyn and while it might not be the case, it seems like [name_f]Rose[/name_f] has the better chance of being accepted.
They also want “name jealousy” to not be an issue. Two siblings named [name_f]Sophia[/name_f], 9 and [name_m]Fernando[/name_m], 7 go shopping for personalized key chains. [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] finds one because she has a much more popular name, [name_m]Fernando[/name_m] doesn’t, is sad and jealous of his sister.
Those are just examples of what I mean with “equal and fair names”, I doubt parents actually think a bout these particular situations
I like children to have unique but complementary names. The names can be a mixture of different styles but shouldn’t be so oddly mismatched that it looks like they don’t belong together or that they don’t share the same parents. The family should sound and look like a cohesive group. My mind is programmed to put names into “style families” (traditional, classic, mythological, unisex etc…). That’s just the way my brain works. Some people have name lists. I have “style family” lists. It’s important to ME but may not be for other people. I know some Berries get their knickers in a twist regarding the term “sibsets” ( I often hear some Berries saying “children aren’t sets of dishes they’re individuals”). Yes, no one is refuting that important fact. Sibset is just a simple term for “name cohesion”. It’s not meant to lump people into groups or deny each person’s individuality. It’s meant to make baby naming easier. There are some names that I personally wouldn’t choose for a family unit.
Let’s use the five names that you mentioned in your original post as an example. For you, they’re perfectly acceptable but for me they’re completely mismatched in style. A couple could be paired together.
*[name_f]Wynonna[/name_f] - creative spelling of Native American girls name [name_f]Winona[/name_f], more contemporary in feel, celebrity name of a country and western singer
*[name_f]Arabella[/name_f] - frilly and feminine medieval name, lush and lyrical
*[name_m]Pietro[/name_m] - Italian boys name and saint name. Like most names ending in “o” it vibrates with energy and spunk.
*[name_f]Mildred[/name_f] - Old English saint’s name, clunky and unattractive
*[name_m]Jake[/name_m] - commonly a nn for the Hebrew [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] but now used as a full name. Friendly, approachable, boy-next-door type of guy
Possible Pairings:
[name_f]Arabella[/name_f] and [name_m]Pietro[/name_m] -would be ok due to their Italianate flair
[name_f]Arabella[/name_f] and [name_f]Winona[/name_f] (this spelling only) - different origins but they work together because they’re two feminine names
[name_m]Jake[/name_m] and [name_f]Wynonna[/name_f] - if you like to give off a Western vibe when naming your children, this pairing is for you.
[name_f]Mildred[/name_f] - I’m afraid this poor girl is on her own! If [name_m]Jake[/name_m] was a [name_m]Jacob[/name_m], perhaps she would have some company.
I am a regular poster on here but I am not as concerned with sibsets as everyone else is.
I like different styles of names but one common underlying factor is that I prefer less popular/obscure names.
I understand where the concern comes in, as some people get their feelings hurt when their sibling has “a better name than they do”, if it is more classic, trendy etc… So to some extent a planned sibset creates a level of equality between all your children. Also, you can take into consideration the fact the most people like one style of name and that some names “sound” better with other names when read aloud.
Whilst the above list of names are mismatched, [name_f]Wynonna[/name_f] is the only one that really irks me as it is spelt really badly.
but I am having fun creating “sibsets” that are really, really bad.
[name_m]Vandal[/name_m] and [name_f]Fairy[/name_f] is my current favorite (the names just popped up next to one another on the Nameberry ticker tape), although I also take a perverse pleasure in [name_u]Majesty[/name_u] and [name_m]Craven[/name_m].
This is possibly what happens to one’s mind when one becomes fully obsessed with Nameberry!
Sibsets are really important to me. Especially as I’m searching for a name for my second child. However, in my situation, we’re looking for a more unusual name which might clash with our sons common but classic name. I don’t stress too much about style but I do worry about same first letter, same ending sound & ending letter, and syllable counts.
I am willing to grant that there is some reason in finding sibling names that complement one another.
Looking back now, I see how my parents named both my brother and myself pleasant Scottish names which make us seem of the same family moreso than [name_f]Bonnie[/name_f] and [name_m]Sven[/name_m] would have.
I still get frustrated though when parents-to-be love a certain name but feel unable to use it if it doesn’t match the other names well enough.
Or when a friend uses the intended name or it is given to a dog, they feel that name is barred to them forever.
Yeah, I don’t see why sibsets are such a huge factor for people either. I tend to put far more emphasis on the aural aspect of names. If they sound too much alike or are hard to say together, I eliminate them as options.
Actually… [name_f]Wynonna[/name_f], [name_f]Arabella[/name_f], [name_m]Pietro[/name_m], [name_f]Mildred[/name_f], and [name_m]Jake[/name_m] as a sibset falls into the “such an odd jumble it works” category for me. None of them really feel especially left out because none of them fit together at all…
