Name Poll - Family fighting over name, baby is 10 days old & need to file birth cert!

See the results of this poll: Daughter’s name should be…

Respondents: 86 (This poll is closed)

  • Mary Josephine : 21 (23%)
  • Mary Louisa Josephine : 59 (66%)
  • Mary Josephine Louisa: 10 (11%)

So sorry to hear about all the aggravation you are experiencing. It is so sad that something that should be joyous is turning into chaos for you.

I voted for [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], it is absolutely fabulous and if you want a second middle name for your little girl than you should be able to give her a second middle name.

I agree with you that next time just tell the people who need to know to put it on the birth certificate. [name_f]My[/name_f] DH and I are currently TTC our first and have already decided we won’t be telling family the name until the baby gets here.

[name_f]My[/name_f] opinion is to go with [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f]. Since you had already agreed to [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], I feel like the only way that [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] should be included is as the second middle name. I understand your frustration that you want the name in there, but at the same time I can understand why he would be angry that you want to put the name you like in the middle spot after accepting [name_f]Josephine[/name_f]. [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] seems like a win-win to me; you get the name you want and more peace in the family.

Also, I’ve known people who have nicknames that aren’t even close to their given names. You could always continue to call her [name_f]Louisa[/name_f].

[name_u]Ever[/name_u] thought about [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_u]Lou[/name_u]? In all its spelling variations [name_f]Marylou[/name_f], [name_f]Marilou[/name_f], [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-[name_u]Lou[/name_u], [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_u]Lou[/name_u].
I know you weren’t thinking of double barreling but I figured I’d suggest this as [name_f]Marylou[/name_f] is a known combo name and [name_f]Marylou[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] would hit all the criteria.

I think you’re already compromising by putting [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] in the middle, and that it’s unfair of your husband to be so opposed to [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] when he got to pick her first name! Personally, I think [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] sounds timeless and elegant. Best of luck with this difficult situation!

[name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] is a thousand times better than [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f].

[name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] is so pretty, i dont think its that big of an issue.

I voted [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], really like the sound of this combination.
Fighting over your babies name is not really the best start when bonding as a family, especially when other family members an friends start to give their opinions and get angry or upset when they don’t like your choices

We have 14 kids, so a lot of naming experience.
In my husbands family we had naming traditions (always naming after grandfather, father, uncles, and paternal side of the family was more important than maternal side, my father in law had strict rules for naming his children and grandchildren)
We didn’t follow these rules and had some really angry conversations with some family members (my own family didn’t mind, as long as we chose a name we loved) We chose names we both liked, and only biblical/Hebrew names for both first and middle names.

  • [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] [name_m]Ezekiel[/name_m]: [name_m]Both[/name_m] [name_m]Nathan[/name_m] and I loved the name [name_m]Gideon[/name_m], tradition said he should have been called [name_u]James[/name_u] but my husband hated his father and didn’t want his son to be named after him (and with good reason, but that’s a different story) We went with [name_m]Ezekiel[/name_m] as his middle name, my husbands middle name.
  • [name_f]Jemima[/name_f] [name_f]Salome[/name_f]: [name_m]Nathan[/name_m] and I just love her name, (and so does our daughter, she loves her name) But since we didn’t name her after any family members the family was not happy (my own parents and my brothers were fine with it)
  • Our first set of twins [name_m]Jason[/name_m] [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m] & [name_m]Daniel[/name_m] [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m]: even though we didn’t use the proper order less tension than with our first children since [name_m]Nathan/name_m and [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m] were already names of family members (we chose these middle names because of the ‘matching’ meanings)
  • [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] [name_m]Jacob[/name_m]: almost no tension here since [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] was also the name of my husbands nephew and [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] is my fathers name.
  • [name_f]Naomi[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]: [name_f]Naomi[/name_f] is the middle name of one of my husbands sisters, and [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] is my mothers name and my middle name.
  • [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] Jedidah: few angry words since we didn’t use ‘proper tradition’ again.
  • [name_f]Hannah[/name_f] [name_f]Tabitha[/name_f]: (again we didn’t follow proper tradition) & twin brother: [name_m]Ethan[/name_m] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m]: [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] is a middle name for one of my brothers and one of my husbands brothers.
  • [name_m]Tobiah[/name_m] [name_m]Zachary[/name_m]: [name_m]Zachary[/name_m] is my older brothers name, still we also should have used a name from my husbands side of the family instead of [name_m]Tobiah[/name_m]
  • [name_f]Eleora[/name_f] [name_u]Damaris[/name_u]: big drama, since again we didn’t name her after a family member
  • [name_m]Isaiah[/name_m] [name_m]Andrew[/name_m]: not much of a fuss since [name_m]Isaiah[/name_m] is a nephew from my husbands side and [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] my brothers name, and used a few times on my husbands side of the family.
  • [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] [name_f]Grace[/name_f]: I chose this name alone since [name_m]Nathan[/name_m] had an accident right before she was born and was in surgery & recovery. He loves her name and our little [name_u]Abby[/name_u] sure is a joy to her daddy.
  • [name_m]Caleb[/name_m] Ronen: We loved this name, Ronen means ‘Song, [name_f]Joy[/name_f]’ and we both loved the name [name_m]Caleb[/name_m], he was named after my little nephew who died when he was 4, and we liked the meaning ‘dog’ since we work with horses and dogs, this name would have been very much disapproved by my husbands side of the family (but since we moved and have no longer any contact with them we couldn’t care any less)

If we had followed the ‘rules’ the children would have had different names, following ‘proper tradition’ most likely

  • [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Edward[/name_m] (big no since my FIL was not a nice man)
  • [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] (I personally am not fond of the name [name_f]Mary[/name_f], and one of my husbands brothers named all his daughters [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-(biblical name) 8 girls in total. [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is cute, but not a biblical name and a feminine diminutive of [name_m]Charles[/name_m] (meaning ‘man’)
  • [name_m]Ezekiel[/name_m] [name_m]Charles[/name_m] & [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] [name_m]Nathan[/name_m] (we like [name_m]Ezekiel[/name_m] as a middle name, [name_m]Charles[/name_m] is not a biblical name, [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] is okay but not a favorite in my name list, [name_m]Nathan[/name_m] is perfect we went with [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m] as middle name since I liked the combination with [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m]
  • [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] [name_m]George[/name_m] ([name_m]Jacob[/name_m] is my fathers name, since we are very close with my parents it could have gotten confusing and I didn’t like calling my son [name_m]Jake[/name_m], [name_m]George[/name_m] is not a biblical name, we used [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] as a middle name, worked a lot better for us.
  • [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] ([name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] is my mothers name, again confusing, [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] is nice but my husband didn’t like using it since he has a big family and almost all families have a daughter with [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] as a middle name)
  • [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] [name_f]Leah[/name_f] ([name_f]Margaret[/name_f] is not a favorite on my name list an very overused in our family, [name_f]Leah[/name_f] is used quite a few times in our family and I’m not a fan of the meaning ‘weary’)
  • [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] [name_f]Christine[/name_f] & [name_m]Henry[/name_m] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] ([name_f]Sarah[/name_f] again overused, [name_f]Christine[/name_f] not my cup of tea, [name_m]Henry[/name_m] is nice but not a biblical name, we did use [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] in the ‘proper place’.
  • [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] [name_m]Zachary[/name_m] ([name_m]Alexander[/name_m] was the middle name of one of my husbands brothers, very unpleasant man (I would have used other words, but children might read it) he looked a lot like his father. We did use [name_m]Zachary[/name_m] in the ‘proper place’)
  • [name_f]Rebecca[/name_f] [name_f]Naomi[/name_f] ([name_f]Rebecca[/name_f] is not on my name list, we used [name_f]Naomi[/name_f] as a first name for an older sister)
  • [name_u]Michael[/name_u] [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] ([name_u]Michael[/name_u] is okay we preferred [name_m]Isaiah[/name_m] though, we did use [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] in the ‘proper place’
  • [name_f]Rachel[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f] (I don’t like the sound of the name [name_f]Rachel[/name_f], and [name_f]Frances[/name_f] is not a biblical name)
  • [name_m]Adam[/name_m] [name_m]David[/name_m] (names are okay, we chose not to use them since they are slightly overused in our family)

We originally came from a very religious community, and some women had no say at all in the naming process. This has caused a lot of tears with some mothers for example: [name_m]Cain[/name_m], [name_m]Abel[/name_m], [name_m]Esau[/name_m], [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] & [name_f]Delilah[/name_f].
A friend wanted to name her children [name_m]Edward[/name_m], [name_f]Rebecca[/name_f], [name_u]James[/name_u] and [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] and got [name_m]Eddy[/name_m], [name_f]Becky[/name_f], [name_m]Jimmy[/name_m] & [name_u]Joey[/name_u].
and her brother in law did the same thing to his wife and named the kids [name_f]Dora[/name_f], [name_u]Dana[/name_u], [name_f]Lottie[/name_f], [name_f]Suzy[/name_f] & [name_u]Danny[/name_u] ([name_f]Suzy[/name_f] was named after the mother’s twin sister, her husband was a jealous pig)

I love the names of my children and would have been quite unhappy if we had to follow the traditional naming pattern.

[name_m]Long[/name_m] story here, but it’s very important to choose names YOU and you husband like, if other family liked another name then they should have used that name themselves or get a pet and name it whatever they like.
[name_m]Nathan[/name_m] always gave me first choice in names since I’m the one giving birth (his way in honoring me as mother to his children) We always chose names together and never (really) disagreed on any of them. I did choose [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] [name_f]Grace[/name_f] without him, and he loves her name a lot, [name_f]Grace[/name_f] wasn’t something he would have chosen but he loves it as a middle name for [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] (I’m not even sure why I chose it, somehow it just seemed to ‘fit’)

Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best

[name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] does sound the best but really [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] is really pretty too…honestly I’d go for whatever gives you the most peace.

Thank you everyone for all of your insight. Really you’ve brought up all excellent points and I feel better knowing others have gone through this as well (and you have my sympathies). I’ve made my opinion known with my husband and am going to take until early next week to finalize my decision while we both calm down about this. I think the single middle name is out for me so just deciding whether to put the [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] first or second as a middle name. Or maybe double barrel the [name_f]Mary[/name_f] and [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] as first names if that compromise works out better. [name_m]Will[/name_m] update you all when we decide. Liking the poll in my favor ; ) Maybe I will share the results with my husband. Thank you!

p.s.- I’m leaning toward Mary Louisa Josephine unless you think the aunt will be offended or hurt; If you think she will please chime in, then I’ll settle for Louisa tacked on the end.

[name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] has the best flow!
Good luck!