Name regret/fixation 7 months old

This was the nicest, most supportive response. Thank you so much. I feel like you really nailed exactly what is actually at the core of this, and like you really understand.

I so appreciate your encouraging and offering grace and acceptance.

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I’m a little late to this topic and I’m happy that you already got so many good advices and all the help you were looking for!

First of all, I’m sorry that you are experiencing second thoughts or questioning your daughters names. On your previous posts you seemed so deeply in love and proud of your oldest daughters names! I had the idea that you had already settled on your a wonderful name for your third baby girl.

[name_f]My[/name_f] opinion on your daughters names and sibset:
I adore Leni’s name. [name_f]Leni[/name_f] [name_f]Bloom[/name_f] is so delicate, fresh, jovial and colorful. It is a really sweet and elegant name. [name_f]Leni[/name_f] is a truly gorgeous international choice. I really like the spelling you chose. [name_f]Bloom[/name_f] is absolutely magical!
Ru’s name is gentle, unique and captivating! I had never seen Ru before, but you turned me into an admirer of Ru. I must confess that I love [name_f]Ines[/name_f]! As a Portuguese, it is so amazing to see [name_f]Ines[/name_f] being used and praised by parents in an English-speaking country. [name_f]Ines[/name_f] is a very distinct, regal, bright and sparkling name! In my opinion, Ru [name_f]Ines[/name_f] flows beautifully!
The name that you select for your third baby is also magnificent. [name_f]Frances[/name_f] is a lovely, underused gem. Combined with the powerful and celestial [name_m]Mars[/name_m], the combo created sounds dauntless, cool and musical.
[name_f]Leni[/name_f], Ru and [name_f]Frances[/name_f] create an outstanding sibset! [name_f]Unique[/name_f], fun, charismatic and well balanced.

I never named a child, but I can imagine how hard and sometimes frustrating it must be. Reaching an agreement with a partner can be challenging and I believe it is very sad to let go of your favorite names. Adding to that, the hormonal change, the stress of everyday life, the new pregnancy, the others opinions and the lack of sleep only complicate things even more. It is hard to ignore second thoughts and worries, but I’m sure you will find a way to solve your question.

Ru is still a baby and she is young enough to be able to adapt to a new name.
Changing a name is a hard process. It takes time, patience, money and effort to deal with all the bureaucracy. All that is absolutely worth it, if you are 200% sure of your next step.
However, I’m not sure if that’s your case. Here on Nameberry, you always had multiple positive comments to share about [name_f]Leni[/name_f] and Ru’s names in your previous posts. Your husband also seems confident and convicted of your choices. I confess that in your situation, I would not change Ru’s name. At the moment, given the information that I have, I don’t think it makes sense.
Don’t get me wrong. If you transmitted me that you were extremely sad, disappointed and in agony about Ru’s name, I would definitely encourage you to proceed to the change, as soon as possible, with your partner agreement. But I’m not sure if that is were you stand. The truth is that your husband loves Ru’s name. Based on your description, he gets sad as soon as you mention the possibility of changing Ru’s name. At the same time, you also enlight many positive aspects about Ru’s name and affirm that Ru suits your baby’s personality. Besides that, both your girls already recognize and respond to Ru’s name. I feel that you’re sad about not using [name_f]Lou[/name_f], but not exactly disenchanted with Ru. With all this in consideration, I would leave everything as it is. You can always switch between Ru and [name_f]Ines[/name_f], if that helps you.

On the other hand, if you declared that you really wanted to change Ru’s name to something completely different (Frances or any other name) and then select a complete new name for your third baby, I think everyone would underused. If that situatuon sounded perfect for you and your partner, perhaps a name change should be consider, in fact. However, altering Ru’s name to [name_f]Frances[/name_f] and then register your third baby as [name_f]Lou[/name_f] is a little odd and confusing. Resonating what the previous posters have already emphasize, Ru and [name_f]Lou[/name_f] are too close, too similar. Unfortunately, I don’t think you will get the chance to use both, at least as first names, I’m sorry…
If you felt happier and more serene, Ru could become [name_f]Lou[/name_f], but I would not advice you use [name_f]Lou[/name_f], Ru or any similar name for the third baby.

Take your time to reflect and decide. Talk with your husband. [name_f]Share[/name_f] your visions, fears, feelings and opinions again, with one another, if you need. Make a list of all the reasons why you love your daughters names. Make a list of pros and cons about the process of name change. Please, take care of yourself and try to find help to battle the stress and anxiety before making a big decision. If you need, avoid the naming process for a while and talk with someone that you trust about your ideas (or come back to this forum every time you need!).
Whatever you decide, I’m sure it will be the best decision for your girls and your family. Follow your heart!
I hope you find peace about everything soon!

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It sounds like you’re well on the way to finding peace about this and that’s great! I’m a chronic over-thinker too and went through a period of deep regret after my daughter [name_f]Willa[/name_f] was born because we hadn’t used [name_f]Ruby[/name_f], my long-time favorite. But since then I’ve come to truly love [name_f]Willa[/name_f]. Then, when we were pregnant with another daughter and I had the opportunity to use [name_f]Ruby[/name_f], I just…didn’t want to any more. Those strong feelings of love for a name, and those feelings of fixation…they can really fade and change over time.

Leaving her as Ru would definitely be easiest all round and for your girls. And as someone who just named a baby [name_f]Tess[/name_f], I’m a believer in the nickname as full name! THAT SAID… if I was in your situation, I would change her name to [name_f]Runa[/name_f] [name_f]Inez[/name_f]. We have a little [name_f]Runa[/name_f] in our preschool and she’s lovely. Then you could seamlessly continue to call her Ru, but she would have the option for a more formal name. [name_f]Leni[/name_f], [name_f]Runa[/name_f] and [name_f]Frances[/name_f] sound nice together too.
I also think [name_f]Rumer[/name_f], [name_f]Rua[/name_f] (means red in Irish), or Maru would be beautiful as long versions.

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Yes, change the name if it’s what your heart is telling you!! Ru is an absolutely adorable name but I totally get your feelings. Honestly, I can relate to your entire post. I changed my child’s name - and also had an older child too who had to learn her sister’s new name., I never looked back and found instant peace after deciding to change it. Happy to tell you more if you do decide to change - and if you decide she is actually Ru to you that’s great as well :).

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Yes I would love to hear more if you’re willing to share! Thank you, I appreciate this message :slight_smile:

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Heya!

I would have your trio (congrats btw):

Leni
Ru (or Ruth/Ruby/Runa/other Ru name nn Ru)
Frances

Leni, Ruth & Frances would be adorable.

Or lean into the L names:

Leni
Lou
Lara /Lyla/ Lea/ Lilla (or other short L name) with Frances as middle

Probably obvious, but wouldn’t have:

Leni
Ru
Lou (and wouldn’t have Lou for third even if you change Ru as will be confusing for your two daughters)

And I agree, healthiest on your second kid who is now past the 6 month mark to keep Ru (or very similar Lou) as their name.