I’m sorry you’re really struggling with this. I remember your earlier posts. It would be so hard to let go of [name_m]Leo[/name_m]. It was the right choice in every way except one [name_f][/name_f]- it’s unfortunate your husband doesn’t feel the same way about it. But you couldn’t choose it for an important reason and chose a great alternative. I think any name that is not [name_m]Leo[/name_m] is going to feel lacking in comparison.
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However, your feelings will very likely improve with time. You haven’t had long to adjust. You probably had [name_m]Leo[/name_m] on your mind for the length of your pregnancy or longer still if you had it on your list before that. So allow yourself to feel down about it while knowing that he already has a solid name that was lovingly and thoughtfully chosen and will serve him well.
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I had mixed feelings about the middle name we chose for our son for some time after his birth. I thought about it on and off during those early months. I returned to the options on our list and came up with a few new ideas [name_f][/name_f]- although my husband didn’t like those. Ultimately, I didn’t have a clear alternative and the unsettled feelings and rumination faded away by the time he was about 12 months old.
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A few more thoughts [name_f][/name_f]- it is normal feel doubt, anxiety or disappointment after making a big decision. It’s normal to focus on negatives over positives. It can be difficult switching from the critic’s mindset to accepting the decision as done.
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Your disappointment and post partum changes more generally might also be colouring how you think others perceive the name. Many people call babies ‘baby’ because they’re so small and sweet and behave quite differently at a young age [name_f][/name_f]- plenty of people feel that babies don’t readily fit ‘adult’ sounding names until they’re a bit older. This is definitely short term. All the people who’ve been surprised by the name will either be surprised but think nothing more on it, or they’ll come to love it. I’m confident you’ll get some compliments at some point from people who share your taste.
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Also, if it helps, you could prepare a sentence in your mind to respond with any time someone actually does say it’s unusual or foreign.
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Name regret is often more about the circumstances surrounding the naming decision than the name itself. You did a great job under difficult circumstances. I don’t suggest starting over. You’ve already looked at hundreds of names. I suggest committing to [name_m]Raphael[/name_m] while continuing to work through your feelings – talking with someone who can really listen and support you, journaling, giving yourself grace, and prioritising more self-care.
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[name_f]My[/name_f] last thought is to look up other people called [name_m]Raphael[/name_m], especially Australians, to recognise it’s great qualities and versatility. There might be some inspiring bearers of the name or great characters from film or fiction too.
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I hope you feel at peace with your decision soon.
[name_f][/name_f] it would help if it was up in the charts like [name_m]Leo[/name_m] / [name_m]Theo[/name_m], but I’m worried about it seeming like I guess, a cheap name choice if that makes sense. Whereas [name_m]Max[/name_m] is so strong and timeless. [name_m]Raphael[/name_m] is more timeless in that it’s the oldest name in history just about !! But a long name is just not sitting well.