Name Regret Woes

Hello all,

Looking for advice. DH and I had an impossible time agreeing on a name for our little man. In the end we went with the most mutually acceptable one before signing the papers to leave the hospital and take [name_u]Riley[/name_u] home.

Since then I have spent faaarrr too many hours googling/researching/stressing over the name ‘[name_u]Riley[/name_u]’ and how popular it is in general, and especially for little girls, at the moment. I am so tempted to change it. He is going to be a big boy and I would feel awful if I saddled him with a feminine sounding name.

[name_u]Baby[/name_u] does not yet acknowledge his name, at least no more than any pet name. If I were to change it I wouldn’t stray far from the [name_m]Ry[/name_m]- sounding names. My DH will freak if I bring this up with him one more time…!

Any tips or advice for me? [name_f]TIA[/name_f].

Awww, so sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have children so I haven’t experienced it myself, but I can imagine that having a new baby is super stressful and new and just makes you question everything.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think [name_u]Riley[/name_u] is too feminine for a boy at all, and you haven’t scarred him for life by naming him that!

If you were to change it, what would you choose instead? [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] is the easiest and most intuitive change, but if you don’t actually like that, there’s no point changing it to something [name_f]ELSE[/name_f] you don’t like.

What are some of the names you and your husband liked? Maybe we can help you come up with a mutually acceptable compromise.

Good luck! :slight_smile:

A high school friend of mine has a toddler boy named [name_u]Riley[/name_u]. It’s unisex to me.

According to the US rankings, it was 194 for boys in 2015, and 35 for girls. That might sound like a big gap, but while it might be more common for girls these days, it’s certainly not unheard of for boys either. It was given to 2,069 boys in 2015 according to this website, which is a pretty decent number of boys, and it shows that in past years it was even more popular among males.

I would personally wait and see if he grows into the name. I understand the logic behind wanting to change it early, but it seems like you might be letting your fixation on the name get the better of you. I don’t think [name_u]Riley[/name_u] is going to be the next “stolen” boy name like [name_u]Addison[/name_u].

For what it’s worth, I know two boy [name_u]Riley[/name_u]'s and the only female [name_u]Riley[/name_u] I’ve met was a cat… I don’t think popularity on girls is a problem.

And what pp said, wait awhile. If he doesn’t feel like a [name_u]Riley[/name_u] still maybe, but don’t stress over it yet.

I’m so sorry you’re stressing out! I love [name_u]Riley[/name_u] for a boy and I don’t think it’s “gone to the girls” at all. It’s quite the norm for girls to have boy names and I don’t think kids in this generation are going to be fazed by having a girl [name_u]Rylee[/name_u] and a boy [name_u]Riley[/name_u] in their class - and when it comes down to it, he has the upper hand since it’s a traditionally male name. If you want to change it to a non-unisex [name_m]Ry[/name_m]- name you’d have to go with [name_m]Ryder[/name_m] or [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] which are in no way as lovely as [name_u]Riley[/name_u] in my opinion. Also, for what it’s worth, there are much worse things than a boy having a “feminine sounding name.”

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry - I think [name_u]Riley[/name_u] is a great name for a boy, and although popular (for both genders) not overly so (at least where I live).

[name_u]Riley[/name_u] seems pretty solidly unisex imo. I know lots of people (kids and adults) with the name, of both genders, and none of them seem to have any issues with the name. Interestingly enough, the male Rileys are I know are mostly under 10 and the female Rileys/Rylees I know are around my age (early 20s).

I’m sorry you’re stressing over this! I agree with the others that [name_u]Riley[/name_u] sounds unisex. If it’s any consolation, my husband is a large man named [name_u]Aubrey[/name_u] and it totally suits him. Your son may grow in to his name and love it for being something more interesting than a top 10 name.

Thank you for the comments! I realize I’m being silly worrying over this when I should just be thankful I have a happy healthy babe.

To answer previous question DH and I have totally different tastes. He likes [name_m]Tiberius[/name_m], [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] and [name_u]Logan[/name_u]. I wanted a [name_m]Walter[/name_m], [name_f]Indy[/name_f] or [name_m]Pete[/name_m]. [name_u]Riley[/name_u] was the only one we both tolerated. TBH I’m not a huge fan of any other [name_m]Ry[/name_m] names I’ve come across (& believe me, I’ve looked!).

[name_u]Riley[/name_u] is a great boy name - I would not have even thought about a girl. But if ultimately you are unhappy with it, I would say you should think about a change. Good luck!

I think that [name_u]Riley[/name_u] is unisex, in the true sense, and more masculine, if anything.

The only [name_u]Riley[/name_u]'s I know are boys and none have problems with the unisex name :slight_smile:

The “[name_u]Riley[/name_u]” from the well-known phrase “the life of [name_u]Riley[/name_u]” was a man - [name_m]Chester[/name_m] A. [name_u]Riley[/name_u], a character in a radio show. OK, [name_u]Riley[/name_u] was his last name, but everyone called him it. So I think earliest precedent is actually for [name_u]Riley[/name_u] being a man’s name. I think it’s firmly unisex in our time and I really like it. It will probably grow on you, especially as the fog of post-partum hormones begins to lift, but if not, does he have a middle name you could use? Or just make up a nickname. [name_m]Lord[/name_m] knows there are enough people who aren’t actually called by their given names.

It sounds to me as though you’re more sad that you never found a name you both loved than anything else. I know a 20-something man named [name_u]Riley[/name_u], and I don’t think people will automatically assume [name_u]Riley[/name_u] is a girl.

I think [name_u]Riley[/name_u] is a great name! Def not too feminine. On girls, it’s more tomboy-ish; on a boy, it sounds like a boy name! My niece is [name_f]Bailee[/name_f], she’s 16. She has a boyfriend named [name_u]Bailey[/name_u]! Ha! Unisex names are great!