Name regret

[name_m]Hi[/name_m],

Looking for some moral support here. [name_f]My[/name_f] son is 3.5 and I have daily tears about his name. I feel so much envy towards others who have created the perfect name for their child and really regret our choice. The problem is we loved his first name so much but part of his first name is reduplicated in his surname. I feel sad that he may get picked on. Three people have told me what we did was ridiculous to my face over the last few years and it breaks my heart. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband doesnt see the issue and I’m feeling really alone about this. :disappointed_relieved: x

Welcome to Nameberry! I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. [name_m]How[/name_m] awful that people are being unkind to you about your son’s name. You might be comforted to know that, having worked with kids in many different settings over the years, I’ve overheard surprisingly little name teasing. Kids will find fodder for teasing if they want to tease–no name or child is immune. But a little repetition between a first and last name seems unlikely to place a target on your kiddo’s back. On the contrary, it’s exactly the sort of thing that can make a name distinctive or memorable. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s certainly not horrible by any means. Does it help to remind yourself of all the reasons you loved his first name when you picked it? The name you loved is still the name you loved, now made even more special by virtue of its attachment to your baby. If all else fails, does your child have a nickname or middle name you would feel more comfortable with?

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[name_f]Welcome[/name_f] @Suzanneharrold!

This sounds really tough, I’m sorry you’re feeling so down about it :cry:

From what you’ve said, I can’t imagine that he’ll be picked on over this. I don’t know if this will help, but I personally know an [name_m]Edward[/name_m] [name_m]Ward[/name_m], and [name_m]Edward[/name_m] Woodward (try saying that in a hurry!) and a [name_m]David[/name_m] [name_m]Davies[/name_m], all of whom have successful careers and don’t seem to have any trouble with their names at all.

I think picking the name you truly love for your child is the right approach. If you’d chosen something else, you may well be feeling regret now over not choosing your favourite. I think sometimes, it’s easy to focus in on a worry (especially about our children) until it becomes a huge deal, but it’s unlikely that others are giving as much thought to this as you are. If they notice the repetition at all, it will most likely just flit into their minds and then out again, replaced by some other thought. People are naturally quite self-centred (not in a bad way, just in terms of being occupied by their own thoughts and worries) and it’s unlikely that anyone is going to spend much time dwelling on your child’s name.

As @dandy_orchid said, it might help to focus back in on what you loved about the name in the first place. A nickname is another good idea, if there are any you like (it doesn’t even have to come from his first name, something like [name_u]Sonny[/name_u] or [name_m]Buddy[/name_m] could work). And whenever I have a wobble over one of my children’s names (as I think we all do sometimes!), it helps me to remember that I chose based on what I felt was the best option at that time. Times change, tastes change, but that choice is a reflection of what you felt was right at that moment in time, and that’s never the wrong choice for your child.

Best of luck! :four_leaf_clover:

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