Name Ridicule?

General Name Discussion
1

My partner and I are expecting our first baby. We find out next week (hopefully!) if its a boy or girl.

I have always LOVED names and their meanings, and ever since I was little I have spent time writing out lists of possible names for my future children. I have always leaned toward more unusual names, nothing too outlandish but I do like word names and foreign names, etc.

Since we found out we were expecting, we have spent a LOT of time looking up names and tossing ideas around and a week or so ago we decided on our absolute FAVOURITE final names for both a boy and a girl.

We love the sound of the names, we love the way they work with my partners surname, we love the meaning of the names, and we love the reasons behind us choosing them.

I know the fact that we both [name]LOVE[/name] them should be enough - and maybe its just my pregnancy hormones taking over - but I have had nothing but a hard time from certain friends and my sister and mother about the names.

It all came to a head last night when, during a phone conversation with my Mum, the names came up again and she was actually LAUGHING her head off at the names and saying how ridiculous they were.

She then proceeded to tell me I was being selfish, and that my child would end up ridiculed and embarrassed by the names.

I ended up crying until 5.30 this morning because it upset me so much - my partner tells me I need to just ignore them all and stick to what we have decided, but for some reason my Mother has an amazing ability to put doubts into my mind and now I am scared incase she is right and my child ends up resenting me for their name.

The main problem is not actually with the first names we have chosen - while my mum doesn’t like them much, she doesn’t really ridicule them (other than to say that the boy name doesn’t go with the surname) - the problem is the middle names.

[name]Both[/name] our options have two middle names - the boys middle names are the fns of both of our fathers. I don’t see why we should have to choose just one of our fathers to honour, when we could use both?

And the girls middle names she ridicules because 1 is my partners late mothers name which she says is horrible and unfair to the child, and the other is an unusual name that I have always LOVED - if I had complete free reign I would be using a name like this as a fn but I have tried to be more sensible with our fn choice to appease other people, but just wanted to indulge my taste in her middle name which I figured wasn’t a big deal as a mn isn’t used much anyway?

I guess I just wondered if anybody else had experienced ridicule like this, and what you would do in this situation?

I feel like I have no choice but to cave in and change my choices as I HATE the idea of my lovely little babies name being a point of ridicule in my family, but on the other hand - this is a baby I have wanted for 31 years, and its a complicated and high risk pregnancy and will very likely be my only child - so why shouldn’t I be able to give it a name that I [name]LOVE[/name]?

I’m confused :confused:

(The names are not what I’m asking for help or opinions on, but for the record they are [name]Tyne[/name] [name]William[/name] [name]Henry[/name] Glass and [name]Malin[/name] [name]Winter[/name] [name]Stella[/name] Glass)

2

I’m so sorry that people are making fun of your names. Most of my children’s names have been made fun of at some point. My relatives all thought that our names were stupid at some point. The thing is, once the baby is born, no one cares what name they have! They just love the baby and their name just seems to fit them. [name]Don[/name]'t worry about their opinions, it’s all up to you and your partner. :slight_smile:

3

I agree, ignore the comments and once little [name]Tyne[/name] or [name]Malin[/name] is here then they won’t think of ridiculing the name and soon enough they won’t be able to imagine them as anything else.

Also, you could choose the names [name]Daniel[/name] and [name]Emily[/name] and someone would have a problem with those, you just can’t win and so you should choose names that you love regardless of what other people think.

I love [name]Winter[/name] and while [name]Stella[/name] isn’t my style it has meaning to you. [name]Malin[/name] is very interesting, how are you pronouncing it? [name]May[/name]-lin or Mah-lin.

[name]William[/name] [name]Henry[/name] make gorgeous middle names, and while I do see some worry about using [name]Tyne[/name] in the UK, I think it’s pretty cute and interesting. As a teacher I’d be intrigued to meet children named [name]Tyne[/name] and [name]Malin[/name] much more so than [name]Daniel[/name] and [name]Emily[/name].

4

I think your names are lovely.

It’s hard for the older generation to understand the love for names they consider weird. [name]Just[/name] keep in mind that their generation is responsible for classes full of [name]Jennifer[/name]'s, [name]Christina[/name]'s, [name]Matt[/name]'s and [name]Josh[/name]'s.

It’s very good of you to want to honor your family members and very thoughtful to put more irregular names in the mn spot since they are rarely used. I know that both as a kid and as an adult I would be very happy to have a unique and fun mn that was inspired by a loved one!

[name]Don[/name]'t back down. Your partner is right, stick with what you love and what you decided. If I was your partner I would be calling up my mother in law and chewing her out for making you cry all night! If anyone should understand about being sensitive during pregnancy it’s a mother.

5

That’s really sad. :frowning: I think you should name your children what you want, they’re your children. [name]Just[/name] because your family members don’t like them doesn’t mean that they are bad names! That’s just their opinions.

I think that [name]Malin[/name] [name]Winter[/name] [name]Stella[/name] and [name]Tyne[/name] [name]William[/name] [name]Henry[/name] are wonderful names by the way! :slight_smile:

6

Thank you :slight_smile:

That’s a really good point, thank you :slight_smile: Haha - I actually wanted him to call her! I don’t think she realises how much she upsets me sometimes.

Thank you, and that is true :slight_smile:

[name]Malin[/name] we’re pronouncing as [name]Alan[/name] with an M, as its taken from the name of the street I was raised on which has very fond memories for me of a really happy childhood - and thats the way the street name was pronounced, its taken from [name]Malin[/name] Head in [name]Ireland[/name].
And [name]Tyne[/name] is because my partner is from the [name]North[/name] [name]East[/name] and we wanted to honour that, plus we like the sound of [name]Tyne[/name] Glass - and we reeeeeally struggled to find any boys name we both loved

Thank you. Its nice to know I’m not the only one who has experienced this!

7

[name]Don[/name]'t listen. There are always people in the world who think that every name outside the top 30 is totally weird and a burden. Let them give their children names like [name]Sophia[/name] and [name]Jack[/name], but don’t let them make you upset.

I was kind of waiting for the names you chose, because if it were names like [name]Precious[/name] [name]Miracle[/name] or I don’t know I’d probably say “you know sometimes people aren’t nice, but have a point and you should maybe rethink this combo”. I do believe sometimes it is right to say something about a name someone else chose, but in a polite way. Sometimes these people just have real concerns about the childs life with that name.

In your case: [name]Don[/name]'t worry. Good names, good combos, you put a lot of thoughts in them, you love them and they’re not ridiculous so you’re children will suffer.

8

Hey, [name]Malin[/name] is my name! I was kind of shocked to see it actually, haha. Not very common outside Scandinavia. :slight_smile: [name]Malin[/name] [name]Winter[/name] [name]Stella[/name] is awesome - if only those were my middle names too … [name]Tyne[/name] [name]William[/name] [name]Henry[/name] is very handsome as well.

And of course you should use the names you love. [name]Don[/name]'t care about what your family thinks - it’s your child, not theirs. They’ll get used to the names, I’m sure. My mother didn’t really like my niece’s name at first, but now says she couldn’t be called anything else - she just IS [name]Judit[/name] now!

9

I’m so sorry your family and friend are being so mean about your name choices! I love the names you’ve chose, they are both super cute (I adore [name]Malin[/name] [name]Winter[/name] [name]Stella[/name]!!). Try to ignore them!! You shouldn’t change the names when you and your husband love them, it’s YOUR baby, not your family’s.
I haven’t told my family or my boyfriend’s family about the names we’re considering (not that we’re anywhere close to having an actual list!) and I am not going to. My boyfriend’s family is very traditional and conservative, and will probably frown at the names we want, and my family will be rude and mean. We are super close and very honest with each other. A few years ago when my sister was pregnant, we all sat around talking about names, and when I mentioned I liked ([name]Luna[/name], [name]Stella[/name] and [name]Damien[/name]) everyone laughed at me.
When my sister chose the name for her son, everyone in my family disliked the name. Then he was born and we met this cute tiny little baby and now everyone love his name - because it’s his name! I’m pretty sure that’s what’s normal.

10

I remember how hard you worked to come to terms with the name [name]Stella[/name], to honor your partner and his mother, and I am so proud of you for making that choice, sticking to it, and defending it to your family! [name]Way[/name]. To. Go!!

You are being far from selfish in these name choices. Quite the opposite: you have been incredibly unselfish in honoring your ancestors and incorporating them into your lives and the lives of your children. The names you have chosen have ages of thought and love and meaning behind them. You will not regret that…what you may regret is caving to the pressure of an unsupportive family member and having another [name]John[/name] [name]Doe[/name].

People often mock what they don’t understand. Perhaps the ones who are ridiculing you have name regret of their own, and don’t comprehend the love you have put into these choices. In any case, don’t be intimidated into choosing something you will regret. Your child will thank you later, and learn by example that it’s okay to stand up and be yourself :slight_smile:

Best of luck to you, my dear!

11

I, too, was shocked at how critical my mom was of the names we suggested during the pregnancy – particularly our favorite, [name]Maximilian[/name], which seemed like a totally normal name to me. She would just laugh and laugh when I mentioned it. And she is normally a hands-off, “you do your own thing” kind of parent, so I was completely taken aback. We ended up not going with [name]Maximilian[/name] because it doesn’t go with our last name anyway, but the experience taught me that there is a very good reason people wait to announce the name until the baby is born. Plus, you never know, maybe the baby will be born and he or she will feel more like [name]William[/name] [name]Tyne[/name] [name]Henry[/name] Glass or [name]Stella[/name] [name]Malin[/name] [name]Winter[/name] Glass – all of which are lovely names by the way. I can’t imagine anything about these names that would bring ridicule on the child or resentment toward you.

Your baby is lucky to have such a thoughtful mum and when the baby comes, everyone will love him or her and the name will grow on them because it’s your baby’s name. It may be best not to discuss it with your mom again though before he or she is born. A pregnant lady can only take so much. :slight_smile:

12

Wonderful choices. I imagine once the grandchild comes along your family will fall in love with the baby AND the name. Absolutely choose what you want.

13

catheyc, dlawsonsmith, ottilie, taylorblueskye - Thank you so much for your advice, experience and kind words :slight_smile: It means a lot to me right now.

Reginaoctis - Wow! I have never actually met a person with the name [name]Malin[/name] :slight_smile: [name]Do[/name] you like your name? I think it is beautiful :slight_smile:

Sleepsessha - Thank you so much for your lovely words. I must be very hormonal - your response actually made me cry! [name]Happy[/name] tears this time, I found it very moving and I appreciate it very much. Thank you. You have certainly made me feel stronger about it all.

14

Name your child what you want, particularly if he/she’ll be your only child, don’t give into people mocking and ridiculing your name choices. I noticed people never seem to be so opinionated as when it comes to what you name your own kid, they’ll offer their unsolicited suggestions and advice even after you tell them you have a name picked out that you love. You could pick out the most meaningful, beautiful name on the planet, and someone somewhere is going to be an asshat about it. So do not pay them any mind. [name]Trust[/name] your own instincts.

If you give in just to appease them, you’ll likely regret it and your kid might even regret it too. My mom was going to name me something else, but because of all the people pitching hissy fits she gave in, so for 18 years I had a name that didn’t suit me. I ended up changing my name to the one my mom had originally picked out.

15

My mum wanted to name me [name]Ceri[/name] (Welsh [name]Kerry[/name]) but my grandma didn’t like it so mum didn’t use it x_x I ended up being called [name]Karen[/name]. I don’t hate it and I go by [name]Ren[/name] most of the time but I would have much rather been a [name]Ceri[/name]. Moral of the story; go with your own choice.

16

I do like my name. I especially like writing it, it flows very well in cursive. However, it was very very common here when I was born, so I also find it rather boring … But you wouldn’t have that problem in [name]England[/name], of course. :slight_smile:

17

Wow, I am sorry you are not getting any support with this. This is something that can be so sensitive for a pregnant woman, and hearing others make fun of her favorite names can be very damaging. I know the feeling. My FIL made fun of my son’s name before he was born, and told us that he would live a life of torture. He still doesn’t like my sons name and he is almost 4 years old. You would think he would have gotten over it, but no he is still immature about it.

Anyway, don’t let family make you doubt your choice. Everyone and their dog feels that they should tell you about names when you are pregnant, it really becomes annoying. They seem to think that they can change your mind. [name]Don[/name]'t let them do that to you, they already had opportunities to name their own children.

I hope you are able to feel the joy of being able to name your own children. Your children will love the names because you and your DH loved them so much. Goodluck!

18

[name]Hayley[/name], trying to be a bit delicate here, but would you describe your mum as a tastemaker? Is she someone always on the cutting edge of fashion, always reading the most current books, a woman who is very aware of social trends?

Because if not, then her taste in names is frozen in her own generation’s.

As someone said earlier, her generation was the one that flooded classrooms with Jennifers, Joshuas, [name]Matthews[/name] and Jessicas. But you know what? 30 years ago, her mother-- our grandmothers-- were deriding those choices. [name]Jennifer[/name]? That was a musty old Welsh name that hadn’t heard the light of day for centuries. [name]Matthew[/name] and [name]Joshua[/name] were for Jews only. And [name]Shakespeare[/name] invented [name]Jessica[/name]-- but he also invented Falstaff and Dogberry. Any child given those ridiculous names would surely suffer their entire life. Why couldn’t you just name her something normal, our grandmothers said, like [name]Linda[/name] or [name]Susan[/name]?

And our grandmothers choosing [name]Linda[/name], [name]Cindy[/name] and [name]Karen[/name] were getting heat that it wasn’t [name]Margaret[/name], [name]Edna[/name] and [name]Dorothy[/name].

My point-- it’s ALWAYS been this way. No one can hurt you like the ones you love, and pregnancy is when feelings are at their most frenzied. Listen to your loved ones-- they might have good points, like unfortunate associations or a bad nickname you didn’t pick up on-- but if it just comes down to a matter of taste and the fact that one person simply hasn’t kept up with the times, well, you know what to do. :slight_smile:

19

IGNORE. Neither of those names is bad. In fact, I like both quite a bit. And I’m sorry, if you both like them, then that’s definitely enough.

20

I know a woman named [name]Tyne[/name], always loved that name. My family always thinks my names are odd, and that my future kids will hate me, and be made fun of etc but you know what? If it has meaning to you, and YOU love them, and YOU wouldn’t mind being named that if you had to then go for it. Most kids have unusual names today ,and anyone can be made fun of.