Name snarkiness and rude behaviour.

I have noticed on another name forum that the ladies over there seemed to be exceptionally snarky when it came to naming. To the point where they would actually say things that were directly insulting to the person choosing the name, or the child with the name.

I understand that sometimes names are tied to negative personalities, but to call a young child names when you’re an adult is just excessive imo.

It was snarkiness like that that lead me to leaving that forum, and come here.
Have any of you berries encountered exceptional name snarkiness, and just blatantly rude behaviour relating to name selections?
Names like Lynziey, I can understand a bit, but legitimate names more importantly, such as [name]Alexia[/name]. (Oh the hell I caught for that one.)

Yes, it’s ridiculous. [name]Even[/name] with names (like you mentioned) such as “Lynziey” - there’s no need to insult a child’s name. It’s just rude and uncalled for. If you don’t like a name, simply say so. There’s no need to insult.

No, most people on Nameberry are polite. Plus, most have unusual tastes in names, so even the most obscure name is welcomed.

However, posters [name]WILL[/name] tell you what they think… [name]Honesty[/name] should not be considered rude or snarky. I can’t imagine the mods on this site would put up with any nasty comments or anything that goes beyond honesty.

[name]Welcome[/name]! Hopefully your last experience won’t hinder you from sharing thoughts and opinions because they are welcomed here.

Agreed.
I’ve noticed that a lot of the ladies who do act that way, tend to be rude in other areas of their lives as well.

I haven’t experienced this in real life but I have seen it online. I can’t say I’m entirely innocent of it myself - I can’t help but cringe when I meet another little Mackinleigh or [name]Jaidyn[/name] or whatever, but I certainly don’t let it colour my opinion of the child or the parents. [name]Even[/name] though I find those types of names horrid, they were chosen with love. That’s the important thing.

People can be unnecessarily harsh online. I’ve seen the term “child abuse” with regard to naming thrown around on some forums waaaaay too much. Most of the people I saw making such remarks had superior attitudes in general, they seemed to think they were above other parents cause they had daughters named things like [name]Charlotte[/name] and [name]Beatrice[/name] instead of Madysin and [name]Kylee[/name].

Insulting the intelligence and integrity of a parent/child because of their name is silly. It makes for uncomfortable reading, so I don’t tend to stick around forums who advocate that sort of attitude anyway.

I do like NB, and I do think that a lot of members here can be over sensitive. However, I’d much rather be a part of the polite community we have here rather than one of the snarky, superior, name snob type forums.

I haven’t experienced this in real life but I have seen it online. I can’t say I’m entirely innocent of it myself - I can’t help but cringe when I meet another little Mackinleigh or [name]Jaidyn[/name] or whatever, but I certainly don’t let it colour my opinion of the child or the parents. [name]Even[/name] though I find those types of names horrid, they were chosen with love. That’s the important thing.

People can be unnecessarily harsh online. I’ve seen the term “child abuse” with regard to naming thrown around on some forums waaaaay too much. Most of the people I saw making such remarks had superior attitudes in general, they seemed to think they were above other parents cause they had daughters named things like [name]Charlotte[/name] and [name]Beatrice[/name] instead of Madysin and [name]Kylee[/name].

Insulting the intelligence and integrity of a parent/child because of their name is silly. It makes for uncomfortable reading, so I don’t tend to stick around forums who advocate that sort of attitude anyway.

I do like NB, and I do think that a lot of members here can be over sensitive. However, I’d much rather be a part of the polite community we have here rather than one of the snarky, superior, name snob type forums.

There’s a difference between saying ‘I’m not a fan of [name]Madisyn[/name], I don’t like that it looks a trendy spelling which she will always have to correct people on and I don’t like boys names/surname names on girls, which [name]Madison[/name] technically is is, despite it being so popular on girls. I much prefer [name]Madeleine[/name] as a way to get to [name]Maddy[/name]’ and saying '[name]Madisyn[/name]‘s a stupid name, anyone who calls their child that is dumb and illiterate and the child will grow up that way too’. The first is expressing an honest opinion, which is surely what most people want, even if it is that the poster doesn’t like the name. The second is just plain rudeness.

There are definitely names that strike me as awful or that I can’t understand why anyone would like them, but I draw the line at personal insults. [name]Just[/name] because I think someone has bad taste in names doesn’t mean I assume she’s a bad mother, unintelligent, low class or whatever other negative label someone might attribute to a person choosing a particular name. And once a child is here and named, it’s over. Telling someone you honestly think a name they’re considering is a bad idea is different than bashing a name already assigned to a beloved child. Most people are trying to give their child the best name they can, but people’s values differ–do they want the child to fit in? stand out? honor a relative with qualities they’d be happy for their child to possess? And I think that even if a name given to a child is truly horrible (think the recent news piece about the baby named after Hitler) that’s definitely not the kid’s fault. All he did was show up and his parents saddled him with that.

I find people here tend to be a bit more tolerant than other websites and forums, and far more accepting than people I know personally. There is still a lot of flack going around for names that are popular or trendy, and not many people approve of names that are made up or spelled creatively. (I am guilty for this) But I have rarely encountered anybody being outright rude or hurtful!

@strawberry shortcake: I hear you on people flinging the term “child abuse” in relation to naming babies. In all honesty, I think a majority of the people online who say things like that don’t even know the meaning of that phrase. If someone honestly believes a child named [name]Kylie[/name] should be taken away from their mother, they’ve got bigger problems to worry about. I think the only time a name could be even close to abusive on a child is if it were truly offensive or done in spite.

Overall, the name board I used to post at was snobby and rude, but I recall one time in particular that I decided I just about had enough and left. [name]One[/name] lady posted about a Biblical name (I think it was [name]Isaiah[/name]) and how she was considering it for her unborn son. I don’t know how it happened, but the thread turned into a hateful anti-religion flame war very quickly, with posters ridiculing and stereotyping the topic creator as a bad mother. Essentially, if you liked any Biblical names at all, you were going to get typecast as “stupid” or a “hick in the Bible belt”.

The way I see it, you absolutely do not fling personal attacks on a person or their child. (unborn or not) Sure, I don’t like names like Kaydyn or Jazzylyn, but I’m not going to say the child or their parents are terrible people; that is simply not my or anybody’s place to make judgments like that.

In short, I am so glad that I left, and that Nameberry does not put with that sort of behavior.

Only once on Nameberry have I come across someone who was being VERY hateful about names. She said something along the lines of “parents who name their kids names like [name]Caylee[/name] or [name]Jayden[/name] are obviously redneck trailer trash! Names like [name]Atticus[/name] and [name]Beatrice[/name] usually come from educated people!” As I have a cousin with a daughter named [name]Caylee[/name], this ticked me off a bit. [name]Just[/name] because you give your child a ‘yooneek’ name spelling doesn’t make you trailer trash! Weird name spellings can be annoying, but it doesn’t make anyone better than you if you choose to use one!

I’ve always had great experiences & appreciate even negative feedback…I am asking for honest opinions after all.

No one has said anything I find personally offensive even when making it clear they think something is terrible! I hope I’ve never been too harsh!

I’ve come to expect-ette names, boy names on girls, ect to get bad reviews!

I absolutely love [name]Strawberry[/name] Shortcake’s remark about all names being “chosen with love.” I have found that to be true. Although my newest foster baby was taken from her mother at birth, I could tell that the parents put care and thought into her name.
It could be possible that in twenty years the names that get hateful reviews will be the ones that are not unique to each person and not kree8iv. We may think something like “[name]Imagine[/name] having to share a name with someone else! Their mother must not love them very much.” [name]Just[/name] a random thought that came to me.

I won’t lie, I probably come off as harsh on some posts because I tend to be direct about some things but I don’t mean to, I post on some foreign boards where it’s perfectly acceptable to say things like “this name is ugly and too hard to bear” or even “this is detrimental to the child, don’t use it” and sometimes I might bring that attitude here because it’s hard to switch gears but I think I’ve changed and have been more polite.

There are a few words like [name]Minette[/name] (and I know people might be sick of me saying it) that I am not sorry to discourage because it has such a sexual connotation in the country of it’s origin but I think that’s the key, talking about a name being ill received is not the same as “this name is so ugly and stupid!” it’s just a fact and sometimes that’s hard for people to accept but I try to be polite in the way I say it.

Oh no no, I’ve never been bothered by your posts, or anyone on here for that matter…that I can recall at least.

The nasty behaviour I’ve seen on other boards, and was wondering if anyone else has experienced similar things. :slight_smile:

@east93, I’m glad I haven’t offended you and for what it’s worth I didn’t think you were talking about me or Berries, I just felt the need to admit to it lol. Overall I think Berries are really polite :slight_smile:

I definitely agree with you, it’s one thing I really love about this place. Berries are polite, but they know how to get their point across.

I am not easily offended. [name]Even[/name] when one of my.children’s names (first and/or middles) are talked about in a negative way I realize like many parents do that the choices I make are not choices everyone feels is best gor their.family and that trickles over to naming as well. [name]Do[/name] I roll my eyes at comments sometimes and how presumptuous they are worded? Totally. [name]Do[/name] I feel the need to express my own opinions on why I like a name like [name]Iris[/name] over [name]Emma[/name]? I do.

I get it on a forum they say things about my name like it is a lower class stripper name (my name is [name]Ebony[/name] if your wondering). I just wish people would realise a name doesn’t make a person and we need to stop being so snobby. An [name]Agatha[/name] may not end up doing better then a [name]Mackenzie[/name] in life (actually a dux at my high school was a [name]Mackenzie[/name] another was [name]Elsie[/name]).