I have a question about name stealing. When is a baby name actually off the table?
We have been trying to come up with a Biblical name for our girl, and the list isn’t that long. But half of the names of the list make me wonder about the name stealing question.
We both really like [name]Lily[/name], but I have a friend, who is due any day now with a baby boy, who wanted to use the name [name]Lily[/name], if the baby was a girl.
My husband likes the idea of using [name]Galilee[/name] with Lilee as a nickname, but I still wonder …
[name]Naomi[/name] is on the list, but I have another friend who nearly named her baby girl that 3 years ago. She didn’t, but I don’t know if it’s off the table for the next one.
[name]Susannah[/name] is one of my favorites, but a good friend at church has a [name]Savannah[/name].
We still have some good names left on the list, although I’m not excited about any of them. [name]Lily[/name], [name]Susannah[/name] and [name]Tabitha[/name] are my favorite right now. (Oh, and we have a cat we call [name]Tabby[/name].)
So what are the rules?
I think it’d be perfectly fine for you to use any of the names you mentioned. [name]Susannah[/name] and [name]Savannah[/name] are two completely different names, so there shouldn’t be any issues there. As for [name]Lily[/name] and [name]Naomi[/name], since your friends didn’t use them, they’re free game. For all you know, neither of them will ever have a girl (or a second girl) or if they do, they could change their mind completely when it comes to names. You shouldn’t not use a name just because somebody else might potentially use it later.
I agree with pansy…names that aren’t used are still up for grabs.
Well it really depends on if you talked to them about your baby names. If she just told if it was a girl, it would be [name]Lily[/name] and you didn’t comment on it or anything, then it’s fine, but she might see it as you stealing her name if you didn’t have the name picked out before she mentioned it… However, she is a friend, and those change… so I wouldn’t consider it off the table…
[name]Naomi[/name] is safe since they chose not to use it and [name]Susannah[/name] is fine as long as you don’t see [name]Savannah[/name] a lot because that would just be confusing for both of you and your kids.
I wouldn’t use [name]Tabitha[/name] if you have a cat named [name]Tabby[/name]… That’s like naming your kid after your pet, which is why I stick with names that I would never use on a kid for my cats.
For me, a name is off the table if it has been used by someone in my family or a good friend, or if it rhymes (I don’t mind it for others, but it would just irk me), so for me [name]Flora[/name] would be out since it rhymes with my future niece’s name, which is [name]Nora[/name]. I might also take a name off my list if a good friend of mine expresses she wouldn’t want me to and had a good reasoning besides “I like it”
I think [name]Susanna[/name] and [name]Savannah[/name] are so different in style/vibe that unless she uses [name]Sanna[/name] as a nn & you plan to also it’s not anything you would need to discuss.
Aside from that if you feel like your friend has been waiting & praying fir a chance to use [name]Lilly[/name]/[name]Naomi[/name]/whatever and if you’re very close I think you should discuss it…I don’t mean ask permission I just mean say “I hope you don’t find it upsetting that [name]Lilly[/name] is on my list I remembered you mentioned it when I was looking over my list the other day” or something. I think it’s important to make it clear that the name wasn’t inspired by them! Good luck!
Btw I love [name]Naomi[/name]
Also…I had my favorite name ‘stolen’ by my sister/brother in laws and a conversation before the birth announcement would’ve softened the blow! My scenario was a lot different since we all have the same last name…
I also agree with what the others have said. But, if it’s something that’s really nagging at you, I’d suggest you just ask them about it. I had a girl name picked out for my first boy. And now expecting a girl, it’s off the table for Me because in my mind it was still a name that was meant for him potentially. I wouldn’t have any problem with someone close to me using it now. And people’s name preferences change, even with a little bit of passing time. If they tell you absolutely no, then you’ll know where you stand and can take it off the list. If they’re ok with it, then it will save you a lot of worry. Also it may easy any potential drama. If they had a choice in telling you what they think, and they say it’s ok, then they’re prepared for it. If you don’t ask them, they Could be upset simply because they were taken by surprise by it. If that makes sense.
Also the last think anyone wants is that awkward feeling of trying to read someone to see if they’re upset with you & how upset they are. [name]Just[/name] bringing it up is best
i think you could use any of those. Who knows if they will have any more girls and if they will use those names. If they are not pregnant at the moment and planning to use those names for that baby, then its still up for grabs.
I also do not think susannah /savannah is a problem. Different names. Annnd I agree with not using tabitha when your cat is named tabby.
If you like [name]Tabitha[/name], what about [name]Agatha[/name]? Of if you can’t use [name]Lily[/name], what about [name]Lillian[/name]?
Finally, I don’t think [name]Savannah[/name] and [name]Susannah[/name] are too close AT ALL. Unless they were sisters.
I think [name]Naomi[/name] and [name]Susannah[/name] are fine. Your friend had a chance to use [name]Naomi[/name] and decided not to, so that means she must not love it so much as to be offended if you used it. I’d mention it to her, but I’d expect her to give you the go ahead. If anyone I talked to during the naming process of my three sons wanted to use one of the names I almost used, I’d be thrilled, because those names were awesome but I just didn’t want to use them. [name]Susannah[/name] is fine because it’s totally stylistically different from [name]Savannah[/name] (much prettier than [name]Savannah[/name] I think). Funny thing, my mother-in-law’s name is [name]Susannah[/name] and they named their cat [name]Savannah[/name], and I highly doubt she was a “junior.”
[name]Lily[/name] is a more sticky situation. It’s not like the [name]Naomi[/name] thing where your friend had the opportunity to use the name and decided not to. She hasn’t had a chance yet. Does your friend have any daughters, or would a theoretical [name]Lily[/name] be her first? If she had the name picked out before she even knew the gender, that means she probably really loves it and would be hurt to some degree if you decided to use it, even if she said she wasn’t. If I were you I’d try to pick a different name. Honestly [name]Lily[/name] is so overused right now anyway, and your other picks are way better.
I love the name [name]Tabitha[/name], like a lot. Is there any way you can chage your cat’s name to something else besides [name]Tabby[/name] before the baby gets here? What does the cat care, right?
I really think these are all non-issues. I’ll add another element which is that certainly [name]Lily[/name] and to a lesser extent [name]Naomi[/name] are really pretty popular names: it’s not like you never would have come across the idea of those names without your friends’ thoughts, especially if, as I think is clear, you are drawing from Biblical names which are in fact a pretty closed set for girls. I mean I agree you might float it by your friends if you are losing sleep over it or they seem like the kind of people who would be really sensitive about this stuff. But you might do well to remember that this is not a phenomenon that non name-nerds are even always familiar with. Would the future daughters see your own daughter enough for this to really matter to them? My mother had two friends who had daughters with my name and if anything we thought it was cool to share it, although to be fair we never saw each other often.
I think back in the day this “name stealing” idea didn’t really exist, it was more, “sometimes kids have the same name.”
I do like the idea of [name]Galilee[/name] nn Lilee/[name]Lily[/name]! Beautiful!
If you are really hung up here is another option for [name]Lily[/name]: [name]Elizabeth[/name]. Biblical, beautiful and [name]Lily[/name] is a traditional enough nn for it but there are so many other she doesn’t have to be exclusively [name]Lily[/name].
Also the meaning of [name]Susannah[/name] is [name]Lily[/name] so you could conceivably have [name]Lily[/name] as a nn without it being the only nn.
I do think [name]Tabitha[/name] when the cat is [name]Tabby[/name] is a bit much. I might suggest the lovely [name]Talitha[/name], also Biblical, [name]Tally[/name] is a great nn in my opinion. OR, you could easily (I would think) rename the cat : D.
Good luck!
I would be livid if a friend used a name I loved BUT I love uncommon names. [name]Lily[/name] is very common so it’s not unheard of that others would like it and use it.
[name]Naomi[/name] is uncommon so it could be name stealing. However your friend didn’t use it when she had the chance
[name]Susannah[/name] & [name]Savannah[/name] aren’t close
I’d discuss the names with your friends. It would seem very underhanded if you just used the names without saying anything
Thanks ladies. This definitely helps.
I definitely will talk to my friends before we decide. I think there are some other reasons that I’m not totally enamored with the names, and I didn’t want to bring it up until I was serious.
Yes, [name]Tabby[/name] [name]Kitty[/name] just kind of walked into the name when he showed up on our porch and never left. So, we could actually name him 
I am intrigued by the idea of [name]Talitha[/name] or [name]Tallie[/name]. [name]How[/name] do you pronounce [name]Talitha[/name]? Like [name]Tabitha[/name] or with the stress on the leeth?
[name]Glad[/name] you like [name]Talitha[/name] (or could rename the cat for [name]Tabitha[/name] : D!). If you look around the internet, both pronunciations are given for the name. There’s probably scholarship on how to say the Aramaic word, and there’s more consensus on the internet for that than for the name (mostly giving the pronunciation like [name]Tabitha[/name]), but I suspect no one knows for sure. I prefer the pronunciation like [name]Tabitha[/name], but the stress on leeth doesn’t bother me.
I think that you’d need to ask your friends how they’d feel if you used [name]Lily[/name], [name]Naomi[/name] or [name]Savannah[/name]/[name]Susannah[/name]. We can’t really say if it’s stealing their names because we aren’t them. Discuss it with your friends and see what they say about it.
i have changed my mind on name stealing quite a bit over the years, i used to think tons were off the list but now i think very few are. i think if it is a unique name that someone mentioned then that is strange. but the ones you mentioned are known names. like others said i think if you just mention to them that you are thinking of using the name then it is fine
I’ve always heard [name]Talitha[/name] pronounced Ta-[name]LEETH[/name]-Uh. I think it’s lovely, and [name]Tally[/name] is a cute nn.
I actually think it would not be good to rename your cat. They are usually very intelligent, sometimes territorial and can become jealous when a new member of the pack arrives. She might feel threatened and confused if she finds everything, including her name, is being given to the baby.
Anyway I prefer your other choices!
Also, I personally would not appreciate it if my parents told me my name used to belong to their cat…
But [name]Talitha[/name] I think is lovely and far enough from [name]Tabby[/name] for it to be given to your daughter.
I took [name]Gemma[/name] off the list because my brother wants to use [name]Emma[/name]. You know in the future. Someday. If he gets married. If he has kids. If that kid turns out to be a girl. And IF his hypothetical wife/gf would also love the name. And then that’s IF he doesn’t change his mind by then.
Then I realized how stupid that was and told him if I have another girl I’m using [name]Gemma[/name] anyway and he can either still use [name]Emma[/name] if all those “IF’s” come through or he can suck it up because that’s a lot of “if’s” for me to cross off a favorite.
By the way, I have changed my baby name in the past for a friend. Our name was [name]Audrey[/name], we were wholly set on it and were due first, but she wanted to use [name]Aubrey[/name]. We LOVED [name]Audrey[/name]. But she had the name chosen since high school and was moving back into town (because I argued that they would never get to see each other anyway for it to matter.). So I reluctantly let it go and struggled the rest of the pregnancy to find the perfect name. Which I didn’t decide on until after she was born. Guess what? We’re no longer friends, and the fact that I bent over for her just pisses me off all the more now.
So take it from me, if you love the name just use it. You can be considerate about it first (I encourage this) but be firm and stand up for the name you love the most.