Apologize in advance for the disorganized rambling to follow. I do appreciate your thoughts.
I have very strong preferences for older more classic names. I love the history of them, I love the vintage vibe, I especially love some underused ones. My husband tends to rally against things that sound or look old to him. Where I would prefer to live in a home with Victorian decor, he’d prefer modern. No surprise, it is the same with names.
There has only been one name he has immediately loved in the almost two years of ttc: [name_f]Gemma[/name_f]. I do like it. I can picture myself with a daughter [name_f]Gemma[/name_f], calling her in the playground, etc. My issue with it is that it is sort of a 90’s English [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f]. I hate how dated and popular my name is. While I’m pretty certain it would not feel dated in the US, as it never really caught on, it does not have that same history to me as [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f], [name_f]Louisa[/name_f], or [name_u]Eloise[/name_u].
Maybe I am overthinking all of it. I care a lot about names because of our struggle with infertility. If we are fortunate enough to become pregnant and take home a newborn, we will probably only do so once. I have one shot, unless we have twins, to really love the name. If we have a girl, maybe she will not have the same vintage appreciations I do. I know I wish my Dad’s favorite name won out over my mom’s. Maybe she will find it silly. Maybe a few years after she is born, I will find my feelings now silly.
All that is a long way of asking- how much do styles and the love of the idea of a name figure in for you guys? Did you later find that you put too much weight on it? Did you later feel you didn’t put enough weight on it?
I feel for you. I am fortunate that my fiance and I agree on a lot of names, and our preferred styles are quite similar. However, I know that it really hurts when I fall for a name and is response is “no way”. It is super hard when you have different ideas and styles.
Firstly… No, I don’t think you are overthinking it. What you call your child is an important decision. You both need to love it, and want to say it and hear it all the time! I think it is possible to be way too nonchalant with names… so to me, it is great that it means so much to you, and that you are thinking over it so much. Especially, as you pointed out, if you only have one baby, then you want to make sure he/she has the perfect name (I don’t think that is being idealistic, I think that is adoring and bursting with love!)
[name_f]Gemma[/name_f] is pretty, although I understand your reticence as it is rather simple and not quite as much a “classic”. What about [name_f]Jemima[/name_f]?? It has similar feel and pronunciation, but it a bit more old school.
As for how much styles and ideals mean for me (us)… I think they are pretty important. We have scrapped a lot of “good names” because they don’t “feel right”. It might sound airy-fairy in one way, but we feel the need to be in love with and connected to the names we give our children. If a name doesn’t grab us and shake us with both hands, or looses its luster after a while, then it has to go. I don’t think that I will ever feel that we put too much effort into finding the right names.
Thank you, mummacat92. I appreciate your response.
I am not a fan of [name_f]Jemima[/name_f], and hubs is not in love with any other names that sound similar or have simililarities. We both have to love it though, so if we do ever have a girl, I’m sure we will have much hashing out and searching to do.
While I have to admit I never loved [name_f]Gemma[/name_f], I also feel the name growing on me. To me, [name_f]Gemma[/name_f] has always had an older-style feel, while unique and modern at the same time. That being said, I think it’s the perfect balance between you and your DHs preferences. I never liked names that started with G, even thought my own name does, because I always found them way too elaborate or just weird variations of other names, but [name_f]Gemma[/name_f] is an exception because it’s unique and I can’t quite place what kind of style of name it is. If you care about nicknames, [name_f]Gemma[/name_f] provides cute little ones, like [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] or [name_f]Gem[/name_f], of which I absolutely adore. I think that if you both love it, use it. If you think your daughter may have a chance of not liking her first name when she gets to be a bit older, equip her with a lovely middle name for her to fall back on. If this baby is likely to be an only child, choosing a name both you and your husband love is very important, and I think [name_f]Gemma[/name_f] is a very lovely name. Going back to what I said earlier about nicknaming, if she doesn’t like the older feel of her name, she could also just go by [name_f]Gem[/name_f] or [name_f]Emma[/name_f] if she wants a more modern feel. Congratulations and wishing you all the best!
