My 20 week ultrasound is in 1 week and we are going to find out the gender (if baby cooperates, of course). I wanted to have a girl name and boy name decided before the ultrasound. Hubby and I have been working tirelessly to find just the right combinations that we can agree on - no small task! A few days ago we finally settled on the “ones” - [name]Tabitha[/name] [name]Eloise[/name] and [name]Crosby[/name] [name]Milo[/name]. The name [name]Tabitha[/name] is one my husband fought hard for. When I casually suggested it a few weeks ago he FELL IN [name]LOVE[/name]. He’s never fallen for a name like this before. Usually if I get a “I could live with that” from him I think I’m doing pretty well. I was so excited about the names we’d chosen I decided to share them. Big mistake.
Here’s the dilemma… my BFF from forever ago said that [name]Tabitha[/name] has been her #1 girl name since college. Of course college was FIFTEEN years ago so if we ever discussed this name I have no memory of it. She not so subtly suggested we pick another name. She even said another friend was going to use but she forced them into another name too. She is no where near having babies so staking claim on a name seems outrageous and selfish to me. My initial reaction was that there was no way we were going to change names. But the more I thought about it the more I thought that I want our name choices to be 100% ours. I don’t want anyone to claim that we stole their names. So it’s back to the drawing board. I dusted off our old list of girl names and we’re sifting through them again. So now I need some advice/suggesstions/opinions for a name with the same timelessness and spunk as [name]Tabitha[/name].
Our list as it stands now: Please give opinions of these choices and offer up any others you think might work.
[name]Cora[/name] - this was the front runner until we found [name]Tabitha[/name]
[name]Matilda[/name] - I think this one has the same appeal as [name]Tabitha[/name] - spunky and quirky - it’s probably my first choice now
[name]Henrietta[/name] nn [name]Etta[/name]- my guilty pleasure name - not sure I’m bold enough to use it though
[name]Agnes[/name] - this is ok. Hubby likes it more than I do
[name]Annabel[/name] - this was going to be our girl’s name with baby #1 - turned out it was a boy
[name]Delilah[/name]
[name]Lilah[/name]
[name]Josephine[/name]
[name]Etta[/name] - love this but our son’s name starts with an E so I don’t want to start an E trend
Names I like but hubby has vetoed:
[name]Isla[/name]
[name]Tessa[/name]
[name]Estella[/name]
[name]Julietta[/name] - I thought this would be a good way to get to [name]Etta[/name]
[name]Eden[/name] - not sure why I like this one
[name]Matilda[/name] and [name]Henrietta[/name]! I love all the choices except [name]Agnes[/name] and [name]Etta[/name]. Not crazy about [name]Cora[/name].
I really hope that you weren’t bullied out of your name choice. Especially since your hubby was in love with [name]Tabitha[/name]! Please rethink this as you don’t want to have regrets for your child.
The others that I really do like from your list are:
[name]Annabel[/name]
[name]Delilah[/name]
[name]Etta[/name]
[name]Lilah[/name]
[name]Josephine[/name]
I also really like your [name]Tessa[/name] and [name]Julietta[/name]
This! But if you still feel you need a new choice, I really love [name]Annabel[/name] and [name]Lilah[/name]. I think [name]Matilda[/name] is the one that is closest in feel to [name]Tabitha[/name].
[name]Just[/name] because someone else likes it doesn’t mean that it’s not 100% yours. I think that if you guys really love it you shouldn’t back down from a bully. She will get over it.
I do really like [name]Josephine[/name], [name]Lilah[/name] and [name]Delilah[/name] though. They’re actually probably more my style than [name]Tabitha[/name]. But if I loved a name that someone was trying to bully me out of, I would follow my heart and use it anyways! Good luck with your situation!
I understand what you are saying about wanting your child’s name to be 100% yours. Your friend’s pushiness has tainted [name]Tabitha[/name] for you. I could see how you would want to choose a new name. What your friend did was rude and inconsiderate, even if she didn’t mean for it to be.
Your friend is nowhere near having children, and you are 20 weeks pregnant. She has no right to tell you what you can and can’t name your child, even if [name]Tabitha[/name] was secretly her favorite name for years. By the time she has children, she may have a new favorite name. It’s very possible that she will never name a child [name]Tabitha[/name], even if she has a daughter.
I recommend that you talk with her and let her know you care about her feelings, but that you may still choose to name your daughter [name]Tabitha[/name]. Explain that the name was already decided when she made her comment.
As for your alternate girl names,
[name]Cora[/name] - Cute and spunky
[name]Matilda[/name] - I agree that [name]Matilda[/name] has the same appeal as [name]Tabitha[/name]
[name]Henrietta[/name] nn [name]Etta[/name]- If I ask myself if I would like to be named [name]Henrietta[/name], I’d have to say - definitely no.
[name]Agnes[/name] - It’s OK.
[name]Annabel[/name] - Gorgeous and lovely. [name]One[/name] of my absolute favorites. I would think any girl/woman would enjoy being called [name]Annabel[/name].
[name]Delilah[/name] - A very appealing sound, but a negative Biblical association.
[name]Lilah[/name] - Cute and appealing, but the “H” on the end looks out of place and would be annoying for your child to have to remind everyone that her name is spelled with an “H” on the end
[name]Josephine[/name] - I can see the appeal, but I would not like to be named [name]Josephine[/name].
[name]Etta[/name] - I love [name]Etta[/name]. I can understand not wanting to start an “E” theme with your children, but at the same time, you wouldn’t have to continue the “E” theme with other children in the future.
If you both love [name]Tabitha[/name] I think you should still go for it, and its not like your friend cannot call her future daughter [name]Tabitha[/name] too. She will have a different last name and probably a different middle name as well.
But if you still have second thoughts, my first thought before looking at your name list was [name]Tilda[/name]. It feels fresh, spunky with a hint of retro. Plus its really pretty with [name]Eloise[/name].
My favourites from your list would have to be [name]Cora[/name], [name]Lilah[/name] and [name]Josephine[/name].
And if you are thinking of names that will get to [name]Etta[/name], here is a few suggestions:
[name]Matilda[/name] and [name]Josephine[/name] are my favourites from your list, and have the closest feel to [name]Tabitha[/name]. You have a really gorgeous list. The only name I don’t like is [name]Agnes[/name], the rest are all lovely in my opinion…so you can’t go wrong! But [name]Matilda[/name] and [name]Josephine[/name] stand out to me especially.
No matter what you choose, make sure it makes you as happy as [name]Tabitha[/name] did! And if you two really and truly love [name]Tabitha[/name], then you should just go for it…even if it’s only in the middle spot.
I wouldhang on to [name]Tabitha[/name] if I were you, names cannot be claimed and children will not be traumatized if they know someone else with their name or God forbid they are actually friends with someone who shares their name. [name]IMO[/name] this namenapping panic is ridiculous.
From your list I like
[name]Josephine[/name]
[name]Etta[/name]
[name]Annabel[/name]
[name]Delilah[/name]
Well I must say [name]Tabitha[/name] [name]Eloise[/name] is ah-mazing. Made my day [name]Tabitha[/name] is possibly my favourite name (for today anyway)
It’s this simple. Nobody owns a name. Nobody. The only exception would be maybe if her mother who passed away was named [name]Tabitha[/name] and she wanted to honor her. But it’s not. She might not have kids. She might not have a girl. So if this is THE name, go for it.
As for your others
[name]Cora[/name] - it’s sweet, but not as nice as [name]Tabitha[/name]. [name]Coralie[/name] or [name]Coraline[/name] I also like
[name]Matilda[/name] - I don’t love this
[name]Henrietta[/name] nn [name]Etta[/name]- [name]Adore[/name]!
[name]Agnes[/name] - I prefer [name]Agatha[/name]
[name]Annabel[/name] - nice enough, but not spunky like some of your other choices
[name]Delilah[/name] - not a fan
[name]Lilah[/name] - plan. [name]Lilith[/name], [name]Lillian[/name]
[name]Josephine[/name] - nice enough
[name]Etta[/name] - adore [name]Etta[/name], but see your issue. There was a thread asking about [name]Arietta[/name], which is AWESOME. But I don’t think its a real name, which bugs me, not sure if it would bug you…
[name]Harriet[/name] - could push for [name]Etta[/name]
[name]Sabrina[/name]
[name]Saffron[/name]
[name]Xanthia[/name]
[name]Laurel[/name]
[name]Helena[/name]
[name]Ophelia[/name]
[name]Aurora[/name]
[name]Flora[/name]
Oh this is such a tricky situation! I’d wait to find out the gender, and if it’s a girl and she still feels like a [name]Tabitha[/name] I’d have a chat to your friend. If you both adore it I do think it’s a shame to miss out because of your friend’s hypothetical baby. She may not even have kids, or she may have all boys! Can you further explain that you had no idea that it was her favourite, that you love it, and that you won’t be put out if she uses it down the track?
I also love all your other names except for [name]Agnes[/name]! I think [name]Henrietta[/name] could be a bit hard to wear and [name]Annabel[/name] is mega popular where I’m from (Australia), but still lovely.
Immediately when I read [name]Tabitha[/name], it reminded me of [name]Matilda[/name]. Which is our number 1 name choice right now so I obviously love [name]Matilda[/name] for you. It has the same feel. I also love [name]Josephine[/name]. [name]Lilah[/name] and [name]Cora[/name] are very pretty but totally dif feel to me than [name]Tabitha[/name] has. They are much softer/prettier. I agree w/ a PP though don’t totally rule out [name]Tabitha[/name] if you and hubby both truly love it.Is this friend even trying to conceive right now!? Is it certain she’s even going to have children? What if she has boys? I really hate people that stake territory over names. My sister and I have always liked similar names but we always had the understanding that whoever had kids first had first dibs to whatever names!! That’s just fair haha
I agree with many of the previous posters that you should still use [name]Tabitha[/name]. It’s such a beautiful name, and it would be a shame not to use it just because someone else likes it too. No one owns a name and she’s not even expecting and may never even use the name. I say go for it, but if you don’t think you can the name [name]Lydia[/name] has the same feel to me and is just as beautiful.
I’m the type of girl who will try to order a hot chocolate if the bar can’t make a screw driver. So… I’d probably skip [name]Matilda[/name] because I agree with you, it’s beautiful and has all the good things about [name]Tabitha[/name] incorporated, but it’s just not [name]Tabitha[/name].
Instead I’d go for [name]Henrietta[/name] which I adore. I love that it allows for nn ranging from the tomboyish [name]Henri[/name] to the feminine [name]Etta[/name] so you have the space to find a nn that really expresses who your little girl would be.
I know it’s a tough to have to choose a new choice, but it looks like you have a great alternatives list and as a previous poster suggested, maybe you will want to wait until you find out if your new bundle of joy is indeed a girl. At which point you will probably also know if [name]Tabitha[/name] is a name you need to fight for or if something else is just better.
I say keep [name]Tabitha[/name]. Easy for me to say because I don’t have to face your friend! You chose the name not knowing it was a favorite of hers. You didn’t do anything wrong. If someone told me they had picked out “my” favorite name for their baby, I would be disappointed, I really would, but I would never try to talk them out of it, especially if I weren’t even close to having kids. Maybe it’s her pushiness that is turning me off and I need to be more sensitive!
Honestly, I would keep [name]Tabitha[/name]. You and your Husband love the name and picked it out before she said anything. No one can claim a name for only them to use. 413 people were named [name]Tabitha[/name] in 2011 in the USA. My opinion, She isn’t close to having kids and she might never have kids or have a girl so why have [name]Tabitha[/name] be the name that got away? Nothing says that just because you use [name]Tabitha[/name] that down the road she can not use [name]Tabitha[/name] when or if she has a girl. The name I think has the same feel is [name]Matilda[/name]. Btw [name]Tabitha[/name] and [name]Matilda[/name] would be adorable sisters.
Good [name]Luck[/name] and choose the name that feels right to you and your husband over everyone else’s opinion!
I would go with [name]Tabitha[/name] if that is the name you love! I wouldn’t worry whether you and your friend both end up with daughters named [name]Tabitha[/name]. Heck the two girls might even get a kick out of sharing a name. That is assuming of course that she will end up having a daughter in the future as well.
Use [name]Tabitha[/name]. Your friend does not own the name [name]Tabitha[/name], and she certainly shouldn’t be bullying other people out of using the name [name]Tabitha[/name]. She may never have a daughter at all, and even if she does her significant other might hate the name [name]Tabitha[/name]. If you and your husband love [name]Tabitha[/name], USE IT. You’ll most likely regret it if you don’t.
I say go with [name]Tabitha[/name]. First come first serve, plus you didn’t even know she liked the name. You are having a baby, she may or may not have a baby one day and that baby may not be a girl so to give up a name you both love seems silly.
Use tabitha! [name]Even[/name] if your friend has a baby girl one day, she will most likely, like you, have to contend with the bub’s father having a vote on its name, and he may veto [name]Tabitha[/name], or have the surname Babitha, or a horrible ex called [name]Tabitha[/name], or a niece called tabitha. There are no end of reasons why, like many expectant mums, she may have to give up her “I’ve loved it forever” name. None of these reasons apply to you, so use it!
Also, if your friend has not yet named a child with her partner, she will have no idea how HARD it is - she therefore probably doen’t know how awful her “request” is.
