Namers remorse - after 3 years!!!

[name_m]Hi[/name_m], I have Namers Remorse and my son is 3 years old. I feel sick in the pit of my stomach and when someone says his name wrong I stew over it day and night and analyse how people pronounce his name! Here is my story: I have always loved the name “[name_m]Damon[/name_m]”. But then my father passed away in 2010 and I got pregnant in 2011. I never thought I would name my child in honour of someone but when my father tragically died, I felt compelled to do so. My father was known as “[name_u]James[/name_u]” but on his birth certificate his name was “[name_m]Joachim[/name_m]”. I googled this name and found an alternative, “[name_m]Jakim[/name_m]” (pronounced [name_m]Jake[/name_m]-em, with the J sound not the Y sound, like [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] but with an M on the end). Anyway, I was so paralysed with grief, I totally ignored my husband when he told me that “[name_m]Jakim[/name_m]” sounds like a made up name. Anyway, I ended up having a boy and named him “[name_m]Jakim[/name_m]” in honour of my dad. Anyway, soon after he was born, I found myself having to always explain the name and having to correct people. I don’t blame people for getting it wrong but my eldest son is “[name_u]Mason[/name_u]” and we don’t have any issues with his name. Some
time ago now, I met a boy named “[name_m]Jamin[/name_m]”. As soon as I heard that name, I thought thats it, that was meant to be my son’s name! “[name_m]Jamin[/name_m]” or “[name_m]Jamon[/name_m]” is similar to “[name_m]Damon[/name_m]” and the first three letters ([name_m]Jam[/name_m]), would have been after my father’s name that he was known as being “[name_u]James[/name_u]”. And as a coincidence, my son couldn’t pronounce “[name_m]Jakim[/name_m]” when he started talking and would say “[name_m]Jamon[/name_m]” without any prompting from us! I am now kicking myself that I didn’t think of “[name_m]Jamon[/name_m]” but it shows what grief can do to you! My hubby now loves “[name_m]Jakim[/name_m]” and won’t change it. He thinks it’s unfair. It’s not that I don’t like “[name_m]Jakim[/name_m]”, it’s just that I can’t handle people getting it wrong; they call him “Ja-[name_u]Kim[/name_u]”, or “Ya-[name_u]Kim[/name_u]” or “[name_m]Jacob[/name_m]”. And it’s a reminder of how bad things were for me (in terms of grief, when I was pregnant). I know it’s probably too late to change his name name now and I am grateful, he has “[name_m]Jake[/name_m]” as a nickname but how do I get over this? Any suggestions would be great, as I feel like I can’t move on. Also, who has heard of the name “[name_m]Jamin[/name_m]” or “[name_m]Jamon[/name_m]” before? I am from Australia and that name is uncommon here. Thanks in advance!

I’m sorry to hear about your father. I have never heard of either [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] or [name_m]Jamon[/name_m], but they’re both pretty cool. My personal favorite boy’s name is [name_u]James[/name_u] so that’s what I would have gone with. You do have a special story with [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] and try to focus on the positives of why you chose it rather than the negatives. I doubt he has started much schooling yet so if you really wanted to change it, even though it would be a process, I think it’s still doable. [name_m]Just[/name_m] your family probably knows him as [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] and [name_m]Jamon[/name_m] isn’t too far off. The downside is you lose the nn [name_m]Jake[/name_m], which is cute…
I really dislike the spelling [name_m]Jamin[/name_m] (It looking like “jammin’ to music” or something).
Either way I’d decide now before he starts school in the next couple of years. Good luck!

I only know of ‘jamon’ as Spanish for ham.

As the pp mentioned, ‘jamon’ means ham in Spanish, so I would definitely not go for that one. I would almost call it cruel, as Spanish is spoken by people all over the world. [name_m]Jamin[/name_m] sounds like ‘jamming’. I think you should leave his name as it is. He is three years old and it will surely be confusing for him to have his name changed. If your husband loves it, I don’t really see the point in changing it? After all, you were the one who chose it, so I think you should stick to it. Also, I’m pretty sure you’ll encounter pronounciation issues with [name_m]Jamon[/name_m] and [name_m]Jamin[/name_m] too.

Thanks so much to the replies so far! It’s amazing how you can go over and over something in your head but it just helps to get someone else’s opinion!

Sorry to hear of your grief and name remorse. I’m in nz and the only Spanish I encounter is on [name_f]Dora[/name_f]. And yes, I know about ham/jamon. I would leave his name as it is, it’s a pretty cool name. You could always nickname him [name_u]James[/name_u], jake or jimmy which have no spelling or pronounciation issues. 3 is too old to be changing names in my opinion and the two that you like are likely to be just as confusing for others. Good luck with your decision.

I think for me the worst part is that names have always been important to me and then I experience grief; total shock, traumatic, sudden death type grief, paralysing grief with no time to prepare and so many unanswered questions with a negligent court case to add to the confusion! During my pregnancy I didn’t function properly and just got by. I didn’t know what grief could do to you! I then was impulsive with choosing a name because I was deeperate to honour my dad’s life in some sort of way because of his tragic death that should have never occurred! Then, once [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] was born, I began to experience the complications of his name and I kind of woke up a bit from the grief and started thinking more clearly; I regretted my choice because if my dad had never died, my son would have simply been given a totally different name like [name_m]Zayden[/name_m] or [name_m]Damon[/name_m] (but I actually got over [name_m]Damon[/name_m] bc of the likely nicknames, which I don’t like!). Anyway, it is what it is and the death of my father and the terrible time I went thru is all a part of my life and I can’t change what happened! I am starting to see, with the help if you lovely people, that I need to let go of the other names, I may have chosen if my circumstances were different and it’s just like all the beautiful girl names I had, that I had to let go of bc I simply didn’t have a daughter! Thanks for reading…

Of course if it’s an uncommon name there’s always going to be someone who will pronounce it wrong. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t stress over it! [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] is a unique name and has such a nice story behind it, like others have said, and it’s still after your father. I haven’t heard of [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] before, but I do believe I’ve heard [name_m]Jamon[/name_m] once or twice. :slight_smile:

I now think that if the worst to come out of my grief and stress during my pregnancy, is the name I chose, well I am pretty lucky! Worst things could have resulted, like me becoming sick or my son being born with problems. I am blessed, really if I think about it!

This is [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] on his 3rd Birthday!!! [name_u]Love[/name_u] him so much!!!

Sorry to hear about your name remorse. I would just continue to call him [name_m]Jake[/name_m] all the time. When people learn that his name is short for [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] and not [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] it will make sense to them. Then it will probably get easier for him to go by his full name as he gets older.

You are being way to hard on yourself. It’s okay to not feel 100% about your son’s name. You’ve got a lot of different emotions at play here and your son’s name is mixed right into things. Be kind to yourself while you untangle your feelings… and if it’s any consolation, I think [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] is a great name. Sure, the pronunciation isn’t intuitive, but the meaning and the story behind it is phenomenal and the nickname [name_m]Jake[/name_m] is just perfect. It’s a name with a lot of good things going for it.

I am so impressed with all the replies. It means so much to me and thank you everyone for being so kind and making me feel not so crazy!

Aww he is adorable! And [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] is a cool name that suits him perfectly! I’m sorry for all of the circumstances that led up to his naming but I think his name is wonderful!

[name_f]Every[/name_f] single message has made me feel so much better!! Thank-you, thank-you!!

I would just continue to call him [name_m]Jake[/name_m] all the time. When people learn that his name is short for [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] and not [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] it will make sense to them. Then it will probably get easier for him to go by his full name as he gets older.[/QUOTE]

This makes a lot of sense to me! I should just introduce him as [name_m]Jake[/name_m] and then once we get to know people they will figure out that [name_m]Jake[/name_m] is short for [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] and that way I don’t get the dreaded initial “His name is actually [name_m]JakiM[/name_m] with an M on the end!”.

I think at 3 its a bit late to change his name even though [name_m]Jamon[/name_m] is close to [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] but the ham in Spanish thing kind of ruins it (which I didn’t know about but it wouldn’t work). I think calling him [name_m]Jake[/name_m] works well and if he decides to go by [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] later then thats his choice.

Also your son is absolutely adorable

I think [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] is really cool! I agree that 3 is a bit late to change his name, but calling him [name_m]Jake[/name_m] definitely works! Your son is very handsome, what a little cutie!

I’ve never heard of the spanish ham thing, but I’m in Australia and I know a 20 yr old named [name_m]Jamin[/name_m]. It’s not my style, but it feels more like a real name to me than [name_m]Jakim[/name_m] does. [name_m]Just[/name_m] use the nickname [name_m]Jake[/name_m] and he can decide when he’s older if he wants to legally change it.

Having a fairly unique name myself, I know it can be frustrating when people mispronounce it. However, I’ve really come to love my name over the years, for its classic feel and for what it meant to my parents.

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry about [name_m]Jakim[/name_m]. You did an excellent job naming your son, his name has meaning to you! The nickname [name_m]Jake[/name_m] is perfect. I also don’t think [name_m]Jamin[/name_m]/[name_m]Jamon[/name_m] would have any less pronunciation issues.