Does anybody else have names that you really like, but can’t use because they already belong to a family member that you don’t want to name your child after?
For example, [name_m]Jack[/name_m] would totally be on my list, but it’s my great uncle’s name, and I hardly know him.
Yes, all the time! Sometimes it’s just that they’re not a nice person, but sometimes a good relative’s name ends up being NMS–my father is a great man, but his name is [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m], which I hate. 
I love [name_f]Alice[/name_f] but my [name_f]MIL[/name_f] is [name_f]Alicia[/name_f] and we don’t exactly get along. Same with [name_m]Erik[/name_m] and FIL except his middle name is [name_m]Eric[/name_m].
In reverse I wouldn’t necessarily mind naming a kid after my father but he shares a name with some “less savory” family members so that is a no go.
I find it silly to not use that name because of your chosen reason. Chances are if you don’t know him, most of your immediate family doesn’t know him well or associate with him much. I think it stands to reason [name_m]Jack[/name_m] is such a common name that it wouldn’t have to mean it’s after some random uncle in your family tree. Put it on your list.
My grandmother had a sister who I never met. I adore her name and would use it in a heartbeat, but she had a really sad, hard life that ended in her being murdered. The name is lovely, but I would feel really uncomfortable attaching that legacy to a child. The name would easily be one of my favorites if not for that situation.
There are a few other relatives’ names that I like a lot, but wouldn’t feel comfortable using because I’m just not that close to them and it would feel a little awkward and weird to me.
I love [name_m]Leo[/name_m] but I could never use it, I have an uncle named [name_m]Leo[/name_m] who did some bad things.
I also can’t use [name_f]Eva[/name_f] and [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f] either because I have cousins with those names that it would feel strange to use them.
I love my maternal grandfather but can’t see myself ever using either of his names ([name_m]Dennis[/name_m] [name_m]Wayne[/name_m]). [name_m]Wayne[/name_m] would honor him, my dad, and my uncle (a junior). I just really dislike it for some reason.
I’m not sure. The only one I can think of right now is [name_m]Joshua[/name_m]? It’s my cousin’s name, but he hurt me in a pretty significant way when I was quite small, so I’m hesitant to use it. Right now I have it as a middle on my list, more for religious reasons than for an association with my cousin. If anyone in my family asks, I’d say “No, it’s after the Bible character, and in honor of [name_m]Jesus[/name_m].” Since [name_m]Jesus[/name_m] and [name_m]Joshua[/name_m] come from the same root Hebrew name (Yeheshua, I think).
I mostly have the problem of wanting to honor a family member, but not liking their actual name ([name_f]Karen[/name_f], [name_f]Arlene[/name_f], [name_f]Ruth[/name_f], etc.). I usually find a similar form that I do like ([name_f]Katherine[/name_f]/[name_f]Kate[/name_f], [name_u]Ruby[/name_u]/[name_u]Rue[/name_u]) or use their MN (as in [name_f]Arlene[/name_f]'s case).
Yep, I have a cousin named [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], and I loved the name [name_m]Matthias[/name_m] and the name [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], but wouldn’t use it because of him. Our families are close. But thankfully, I’m over those names so it isn’t an issue anymore.
I also have a grandmother named [name_f]Mary[/name_f] who was not a part of my life, but I love the name [name_f]Mary[/name_f]. I think it would cause tension with my mother since she hates her mother-in-law, so I keep it in the middle. I may decide to put Mary on the list and if people ask just say, “No, Mary is after my friend Marissa.” I could also say that its after me because my middle is Maria. That way I’ll avoid any fight with my mom.
I also like [name_m]Paul[/name_m]. [name_m]Paul[/name_m] is my grandfather’s name, and my dad didn’t name his sons it because he hated his father. But I really love the name so I keep it near the bottom of my list. I may feel differently when I have children though.
A lot of the names that I love that I think are unusable due to family I keep in the middle spot. But more often than not, I have family names in the middle because I don’t love their names enough to use as firsts. I like their names, but not love them.
This happens a lot for me. There’s some names that I’d use but it seems kind of silly sometimes for me to be like “oh, I named her/him after a 5x great-grandmother/grandfather” or something along those lines. Other examples:
~[name_f]Beth[/name_f]: I really grew to love this name, but it is my [name_f]MIL[/name_f]'s middle name. She would gleefully boast about us using that name. She’s a mean person so…I don’t want to
~[name_m]Louis[/name_m]: My bio dad’s name. I’m not attached to this name, although I like [name_m]Lewis[/name_m], but I can’t use any variant of this name because of the nature of things that happened. Shame…it’s my brother’s name, too.
~[name_f]Margaret[/name_f]: mean grandmothers…my mom’s stepmom was abusive towards her and my uncle. My dad’s mom was a piece of work too.
~[name_m]David[/name_m]: my grandma’s brother who passed away as a young adult (they were triplets)
~[name_m]Joseph[/name_m]: mean, abusive uncle
[name_m]Arthur[/name_m] and [name_f]Helena[/name_f] are high on my list - they are also the names of my grandparents who died before I was born, so I never knew them. But, I have no problem using those names; I loved them before I found out they were family names and wasn’t gonna take them off my list just before they accidentally honor family I never knew. In contrast, the names of people I [name_f]DO[/name_f] want to honor, I don’t like, LOL! For example, I would love to honor my parents, [name_m]Brian[/name_m] and [name_f]Lorraine[/name_f], but really do not like those names, even in the middle spot; they seem so dated. So, I’ve been thinking of alternatives (maybe [name_f]Briony[/name_f] and [name_f]Lorelai[/name_f]?)
My (biological) mother’s name is [name_f]Cynthia[/name_f]. You know those stereotypical drunk dads in movies who never show up to anything unless they want to borrow money from you? Yeah… she is that, except a mom. Thankfully I have a step-mom from heaven.
Anyway. I happen to love the name [name_f]Cynthia[/name_f] and would have used it but for her. Ironically, she hates her name.
I have similar connections with the name [name_f]Justine[/name_f]… we wanted to use [name_f]Giustina[/name_f], since we are Italian.
I had a great aunt [name_f]Ethel[/name_f] who was apparently awful. Otherwise I think [name_f]Ethel[/name_f] is gorgeous!
I’ve been warming to the name [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], and the name [name_f]Maggie[/name_f], but my great grandmother (who, until recently, was quite fun to be around) is [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] [name_f]Florence[/name_f], and is already up in arms at the fact that I like [name_f]Florence[/name_f] (it isn’t after her, and she doesn’t even acknowledge her legal given name, so really, I’m going [name_m]Rhett[/name_m] [name_m]Butler[/name_m] here), but [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] would be a total no go zone. Apart from her, on my mother’s side, my grandmother had a cousin named [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] who was jilted at the altar and never forgave the husband, eventually committing suicide years later. It’s just not super positive in my family.
I also would love to use the name [name_f]Bea[/name_f], even just as a short form for [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f], but I have a wicked aunt who has practically been disowned for her abuse towards my mother and her sisters who has adopted this as her nickname, so I wouldn’t feel right using it.
The first name that comes to mind is [name_m]Jon[/name_m]. I love the name [name_m]Jon[/name_m], but my grandfather is named [name_m]John[/name_m]. He’s a pickle to say the least.
I have the opposite problem! Some of my lovely Scandinavian relatives have stuffy, unattractive names. For example, my mother’s name is [name_f]Hildur[/name_f]. This might be a great name if you are Icelandic, but unfortunately for us, she was named after a friend. Maybe as a middle, but probably not!! 
I love the name [name_f]Briony[/name_f], although I tend to prefer [name_f]Bryony[/name_f]. I also love [name_f]Brianna[/name_f], even though it’s very '90s. What about [name_f]Briallen[/name_f] (Welsh for primrose)? For a male variant on [name_m]Brian[/name_m], there’s [name_m]Byron[/name_m] & [name_m]Bryant[/name_m]…
[name_f]Lorraine[/name_f] could be [name_f]Laurel[/name_f] or [name_f]Laura[/name_f]…
My cousin has a wonderful, quite rare name that also has meaning to me as it’s my favorite writer’s name. Unfortunately, my cousin isn’t the sweetest man out there, and my parents have a complicated relationship with him. However, I think I’d still use his name (not in his honor, of course), because we are not close at all, I’ve only seen him ~ twice.
I only see him every three months or so at holidays and reunions, but my grandpa and other members of the family see him several times a week. By “I don’t know him” I meant that I’ve never had a direct conversation with him. The most we’ve talked is sitting at the same table at Thanksgiving. So, it would be weird if I gave my kid the same name as him.
I used to like the name [name_f]Sandra[/name_f], but because of my great-aunt (my Daddy’s aunt), I don’t like it anymore. Because my great-aunt is not a very nice person, I don’t want to use her name for a daughter.