I can only imagine how common this predicament is. I find myself getting so frustrated when I fall in love with a name and tell my husband and he just crinkles his nose & says “no”. We are trying to conceive right now, so there’s no hurry, but I just get so excited coming up with possible names and I get irritated when my husband shows little interest in the names I’ve found & then rejects them as though it isn’t important to me. I understand he doesn’t care as much about names as I do but I just wish he would pretend to be interested sometimes!
[name_f]Do[/name_f] any of you berries find yourself arguing about names with your significant other? What names do you love but he/she refuses to use? [name_f]Do[/name_f] they connect the name to someone they used to know? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you just want to tell them to get over it? If this happened to you, how did you and your S/O handle the situation? Was there compromises? Did you take them off your list? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you pick that name anyways?
Some of my favorites that my husband flat refuses:
[name_m]Laszlo[/name_m] (His only association with the name is an annoying video game character. Never mind that it’s my absolute favorite boy’s name.)
[name_f]Minerva[/name_f] (He doesn’t like the sound. Absolute favorite girl’s name, but it’s a no)
[name_m]Dominic[/name_m] (He doesn’t even have a reason for this one.)
[name_f]Tabitha[/name_f] (I only ever wanted to use this one as a middle name, but he’s afraid people would call her [name_f]Tabby[/name_f]. He’s afraid they’ll call her [name_f]Tabby[/name_f]…because [name_f]Tabitha[/name_f] is her middle name…???)
And yet, I’m expected to love [name_m]Eldridge[/name_m] because one of his distant, ancient family members had the name.
Two extremely different names, [name_f]Emily[/name_f], which I have always loved since I was little. And [name_f]Aurora[/name_f]. And pretty much every boy name I’ve ever liked.
We are having this exact problem right now. It has taken me 5.5 months of constant researching until I finally found the right name for our 1st and only daughter (due Sept 1st). 90% of the names I have tried to suggest, my husband “vetoes” for one reason or another. [name_f]My[/name_f] current name love is [name_u]Ruby[/name_u] [name_u]Quinn[/name_u]. While I can compromise on the middle name I am set on [name_u]Ruby[/name_u]. It is vintage, sweet and feminine (all the things I had on my list). [name_f]My[/name_f] husband just simply says no. Our 3 boys seemed so much easier to name…after a couple name choices we agreed and that was that. This is new territory of resistance. But to be honest I am so DONE looking for a compromise. I plan to hold my ground on the first name. After all I have done all the hard work. LOL
Some of my other name picks that he hated:
[name_f]Daisy[/name_f]
[name_f]Phoebe[/name_f]
[name_f]Penelope[/name_f]
[name_f]Isla[/name_f]
Names he likes:
[name_f]Esme[/name_f]
[name_f]Carys[/name_f]
[name_u]Evelyn[/name_u]
Me and my husband have similar name tastes. It has been sort of easy picking names out.
He vetoed the following… Note that these were only brought up after we picked out all our kids names. These were apart of a “what if” conversation.
[name_u]Micah[/name_u]- he prefers [name_u]Michael[/name_u].
[name_u]Kieran[/name_u]- he just said no.
[name_m]Mordecai[/name_m]- he said hell no.
[name_m]Jakob[/name_m]- is his cousins name.
[name_m]Jonah[/name_m]- he said no.
[name_u]Owen[/name_u]- he gave me an exasperated look.
[name_f]Tessa[/name_f]- He said no because he hates [name_f]Tess[/name_f], and thinks of [name_f]Tess[/name_f] the Mess.
[name_f]Delilah[/name_f]- He said, and I quote “sounds like a strippers name.”
[name_f]Dahlia[/name_f]- he said it’s too frilly. I like [name_f]Dolly[/name_f] as a nn. He’s fine with that as a name, but not [name_f]Dahlia[/name_f].
[name_f]Claira[/name_f]- his ex was named [name_f]Cara[/name_f], too similar for him.
[name_f]Pearl[/name_f]- he thinks of this as a grandmas name.
I got lucky, all of my favorites he likes, and his two favorites I like. [name_f]My[/name_f] favorites [name_f]Ellie[/name_f], [name_u]Ruby[/name_u], and [name_f]Lyla[/name_f], and his favorites [name_f]Anna[/name_f], and [name_m]Scott[/name_m]. [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] and [name_f]Anna[/name_f] are our two girls. We are due in [name_u]December[/name_u] and letting our third and last be a surprise. So he or she will either be [name_m]Scott[/name_m], [name_u]Ruby[/name_u], or [name_f]Lyla[/name_f]. He said it’s up to be to decided which girl name. I haven’t set one of them in stone yet.
If for some reason he didn’t like my favorites or I didn’t like his we’d compromise. That’s what marriage is about. Our babies are just as much his as they are mine. But like I said, I got lucky.
He’s half Dutch half Irish, and I thought it would be nice to honour his heritage by choosing a Dutch or Irish name. He flatly informed me he doesn’t like Dutch or Irish names.
I feel your frustration on this one! We are also TTC and at the rate we are going, we are going to need all the time we can get to decide on “the” name. Boys names don’t seem to be as much an issue as girls, except for when it comes to middle names. He is obsessed with what the kids initials will sound like as a word (for example: I am ABM, or ab-mmm). [name_m]How[/name_m] ridiculous is that? He shoots down every name I like, or immediately states there is no middle name on the face of the planet that works with it (really?). When I ask him to come up with ideas, he tells me he likes the names of our closest friends’ babies! So, I am giving him one of Nameberry’s name books for Father’s [name_u]Day[/name_u]! Anyway, the names he’s said he doesn’t like:
[name_f]Ivy[/name_f] (I am not giving up on this one!!)
[name_f]Honora[/name_f]
[name_f]Willa[/name_f]* He says he doesn’t like this one because of the middle name issue
[name_f]Poppy[/name_f]* apparently no middle name ever!! goes with [name_f]Poppy[/name_f]
[name_f]Iris[/name_f]
[name_f]Verity[/name_f]
[name_m]Bowen[/name_m]
[name_m]Archer[/name_m]
[name_m]Atticus[/name_m]* he suggested this name, but again with the no-middle issue!!
[name_m]Henry[/name_m]
Any name that starts with “V,” he says “V” names make him think of lady parts.
Most of our name conversations end up with me laughing hysterically; he comes up with the most immature reasons to veto names.
We agreed on quite a few names. I do tend to be a little more ‘out there’ with the names I could use. It’s been an good exercise on compromise to decide on the names (although sometimes my husband has driven me a little crazy). I love that all our kids have names we are agreed on together. All our middle names are family names for people we want to honor and all our first names are names we liked for one reason or another (except for [name_f]India[/name_f] - it’s a family name too). In general, my husband doesn’t come up with names, that my job. And his job is to veto most of them I would say he’s usually not that into selecting names until about the 2nd trimester. And, of course, I could talk about names all the time Also, we never decide for sure until we “meet” our baby and usually we are surprised by gender as well. In fact, baby #4 wasn’t named for a couple of days! I’m good with our process. It works for us, which is what’s most important.
BOYS:
[name_m]Ignatius[/name_m]. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband vetoed this after telling me I was crazy.
[name_m]Boaz[/name_m]. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband told me he would be called [name_u]Bo[/name_u]-ass. I said we could just call him [name_u]Bo[/name_u] but he wasn’t going for it.
[name_m]Zebedee[/name_m]. Got major ‘you’re insane’ comments from the hubs and friends. They kept referring to it as my ‘zip be dee do dah’ name. I tried [name_m]Zebediah[/name_m] but no one went for that either. I thought the nn of [name_m]Zeb[/name_m] was so cute and I really do love [name_m]Zebedee[/name_m] especially.
[name_m]Malachi[/name_m] or [name_m]Malachy[/name_m]. [name_m]Just[/name_m] got a no look from the hubs.
[name_u]James[/name_u] nn [name_u]Jem[/name_u]. This might be my favorite name ever. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband again was not liking [name_u]Jem[/name_u] at all. Plus his grandpa was a [name_u]James[/name_u] nn [name_m]Jim[/name_m] and he didn’t like him. So sad.
GIRLS:
[name_f]Jemima[/name_f]. Yes, I live in the US where is name is still off limits. But I love it. It’s beautiful sounding and means ‘dove’ in Hebrew. I wanted to use [name_f]Jemima[/name_f] but call her [name_f]Jemma[/name_f]. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband (along with all our friends) was not on board at all. So many told me to just use [name_f]Jemma[/name_f] but I really wanted [name_f]Jemma[/name_f] as the nickname. Sigh… I’m still not over this one. I hope someday we can get beyond the horrible racial stereotype of this name.
[name_u]Winter[/name_u]. The hubs doesn’t like my hippie name picks (tried for an [name_f]Endeavor[/name_f] and [name_u]River[/name_u] too for a boy, which were both out).
[name_f]Eulalia[/name_f]. More crazy looks/talk from the hubs.
[name_f]Saskia[/name_f]. [name_f]Adore[/name_f] the name and it’s a family name. No from my hubs because he just doesn’t like it.
[name_f]Florence[/name_f] nn [name_f]Flossie[/name_f]. This might have been the start of him telling me most my names were crazy. I’m now trying to get him on board with the nn of [name_f]Florrie[/name_f] if we have another.
[name_f]Pauline[/name_f] nn [name_f]Polly[/name_f]. Hubs likes [name_f]Polly[/name_f] but not [name_f]Pauline[/name_f] (which is a family name). We’re still trying to make this one work with a different full name.
Luckily, my husband and I have similar tastes. We pretty much like the same names. His favorites and my favorites aren’t always one to one but mostly our 10 ten names are mostly the same even if not in the same order. Since we could fairly easily agree on a good list of names I don’t push the issue. I want him to their names, they’re his kids too!
The few names he didn’t like:
[name_m]Casper[/name_m]
[name_f]Philippa[/name_f]
[name_f]Helen[/name_f] (but he approves of [name_f]Helena[/name_f] at least)
[name_m]Moses[/name_m]
[name_u]Roscoe[/name_u]
[name_f]Edith[/name_f]
[name_u]Micah[/name_u]
[name_m]Alistair[/name_m] (but he loves [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] at least)
It’s too bad about [name_f]Edith[/name_f] and [name_m]Casper[/name_m], they’d be in my top 3 if he hadn’t vetoed them.
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I have very different tastes in names…disagreements galore!
[name_f]My[/name_f] favorites that were vetoed:
[name_f]Callie[/name_f] (reminded him of a horse…what?)
[name_f]Frances[/name_f] (couldn’t figure out how to spell it, which I understand)
[name_f]Naomi[/name_f] (no reason, just no)
[name_f]Teresa[/name_f] (same as [name_f]Naomi[/name_f])
[name_f]Jenna[/name_f] (At first he loved it. Then I found out why. He had a crush on a [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f] for years in grade school. Automatic veto by me.)
I’m another who comes up with all the names and has hubby veto most of them! Well, some of them anyway. I’m thankful that he agreed to my first choice for a girl’s name, because in my opinion it was the perfect name and I would have been so disappointed if I hadn’t been able to use it. The second girl’s name was a lot harder - he vetoed my first choice - Zaylie, and wasn’t that keen on several of my other top choices. We ended up with a name that was probably about 10th on my list! But I’m actually really happy with the choice now. I would still really love to have a Zaylie but it will probably never happen. He on the other hand really likes [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] and [name_f]Victoria[/name_f] and, try as I might, I really couldn’t bring myself to fall in love with either of them - so I can understand how it must be for him with some of the names I love and he doesn’t. Its all the art of compromise!
Boys names, he vetoed my first choice and we used my second choice. Next time round I’m more prepared to compromise on my first choice (I really wanted [name_m]Zachary[/name_m], he would only agree to [name_m]Zack[/name_m]), so we will see!
We both like out-there names, but unfortunately not usually the same ones.
There are MANY that he’s flat-out veto’d but a few off the top of my head he’s not fond of:
[name_f]Ursula[/name_f]!
[name_f]Hazel[/name_f]
[name_f]Fern[/name_f]
[name_u]Ruby[/name_u]
[name_m]Moss[/name_m]
[name_u]Sorrel[/name_u]
[name_f]Elowen[/name_f]
[name_u]Juniper[/name_u]/[name_f]Juno[/name_f]/[name_f]Junia[/name_f]
[name_f]Anja[/name_f]
[name_f]Morwenna[/name_f]
