I was interested in all of your opinions on weather or not to involve the future grandparents in the naming process of your coming arrival. I have seen some couples keep the grandparents completely out and others the grandparents are totally involved.
So what is your opinion? What did you do and why?
When I was naming my girls, I did seek the opinions of my parents and in laws. That said, I didn’t overly focus on what they thought. I got feedback from them but ultimately, I made the final decision. They tried pushing certain names on me (mainly family names) and I wouldn’t give in.
I think involving them is nice, but certainly make your own independence choice on what you name your little ones 
As a name nerd and a grandmother I had a lot of interest in finding names for my grandchildren. I gave my kids copious lists of names (which was fine by them as I asked them first) so that they could narrow down their choices. It was interesting and I didn’t push my favourites on them most of the time but they were very accommodating and in the end just chose the names that they liked.
I keep the grandparents out of it. My parents are cool and not pushy about their opinions, but my in-laws are quite opinionated. It was just easier to leave them out of it. I’m not really a “people pleaser” so I didn’t want to discuss names with anyone but my husband.
We didn’t really, but they never expressed much interest (other than wondering what we were thinking). If they were really into names I would probably have discussed it with them.
With my first, I valued my mom’s opinion over anything (my ex was a dbag and away in the military so he wasn’t around to ask). She helped eliminate some names since she couldn’t pronounce them correctly (ex:[name]Owen[/name] sounded like own)… BUT she did end up butchering my favorite name, [name]Jensen[/name], to the point that I threw it out and now I wish I hadn’t. With my second my husband and I came up with our own names and let my parents throw in some suggestions, but ultimately made our choice and made sure we were 100% before telling them.
What I’m doing (even now not TTC) is I’m asking my mom what names she likes without telling her my picks.
I’ve found out her naming style is exactly the same as mine
So some of her names have been put on my long list!
I’ve decided that I’m going to let people know the style of names I’m looking at but never an actual name.
So many of my older cousins have had their names stolen.
Ex: My cousin [name]Sarah[/name] had been telling people for years she was going to use [name]Gracie[/name] and her cousin, on the other side of her family, ended up having a girl and said right to [name]Sarah[/name]'s face “You’ve been talking about it for years and I started to like it”.
I think it depends on your parents’ personalities. We did talk about names with grandparents during our first pregnancy.
My father-in-law had zero interest in naming his own children, so he never contributed anything and never gave us any trouble about it. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, could be difficult. She would not contribute anything to the discussion, but if we had a name that she disliked she would argue with us about it and get very upset at the thought of us using it, so we stopped discussing names with her altogether.
My dad will never say anything negative about a name that we like, but he loves to throw in names that he likes, almost all of which are “yoonik” or made up. (I’ve started to think that my brother and I really have our mom to thank for our normal names).
I couldn’t name a child without talking to my mom first. She is completely honest without ever being mean. I have mentioned some names to her that I know she did not initially like, but she always made an effort to understand why we liked it and to imagine it on her future grandchild and would learn to love any name we eventually decided on.
So if we ever have a third child, I will definitely discuss with my mom, but probably not with anyone else.
I think it entirely depends on the individuals!
For me, I personally do not think I will. But that is for a couple of reasons. Mostly, I would like the process of naming my child to be between just me and my man. To make it a bit more of a special event, I suppose. More meaningful And also, I have some very… opinionated family members. And I know that I will be deeply hurt if I tell them that we chose, say the name [name]Eloise[/name]. And if they came back with a response like “[name]Eloise[/name]? Like [name]Ella[/name] wheeze?!”. I know I’d probably start swaying away from it. And I want to chose the name me and my man think is perfect, not my parents / his parents. Also, I know they will back off once I have actually chosen the name and have stated it is staying, like after its born. If I say “this name is on the birth certificate, her mommy and daddy are in love with it, and look forward to calling her by so for the rest of her life”, they will accept it and let it be
However, I think it can be really fun to include your parents / the future grandparents in the naming! They may even have a lot of names that fit your style… and they could probably even suggest some family names you might want to incorporate! <3 I have a list of family names I’ve gathered from my mother so I could add them in!
I am still debating though. I know for sure I wont mention the name selection to anyone until it is set in stone… but I just might want to announce the name once it is set in stone, instead of waiting until the birth. But we’ll see when the time comes!
EDIT: forgot to add! I’m thinking about possibly talking to my bf’s family members about it. His mom is pretty cool, and I can’t imagine her really knocking any of my names. I don’t really ever talk to his dad about anything, so I’d probably just casually bring him up to date. His grandfather wouldn’t discuss anything, but I bet he would help me find literary names if I want some! Me and him talk about authors and music and all all the time, so I bet he could bring up some awesome choices. And his grandmother, I love her dearly, and know I will keep her up to date. Me and my bf already decided that we were going to use her name as a middle name to honor her in our firstborn. But I think she’d look for the good in our names, and no one would end up hurt over names in talking to her! Though I almost feel bad to want to disclude my family members and not his 
Tough decision!!