Is it wrong to want to find names that reflect your heritage? We are American citizens, living in [name_u]America[/name_u], as will our children. DH doesn’t really care about using names that honor his heritage (his family is English, Norwegian, and a few other things) because it just doesn’t matter much to him and our kids will have his/our surname.
I took his last name when we got married and don’t regret that, however I did have to give up my maiden name, which sounds a lot better than his. It’s very Italian and I was close with that side of the family. It makes me sad that our kids won’t get to know them or have really much of a tie to that side at all. I love my heritage and have talked to DH about using Italian names to reflect where we came from. He isn’t opposed to it, but pointed out that it would sound weird paired with our very American-sounding surname (similar to [name_m]Turner[/name_m] or [name_m]Cooper[/name_m]). I can’t get that out of my mind now. I looked around on other sites and found that some people find it wrong.
Am I thinking too much into this? I know our kids will still be part of my family regardless of names, but I want them to not lose part of their heritage just because they will be more removed from the situation than I was growing up (my grandfather immigrated in the 40’s or so but didn’t take the time to teach us much of anything about where he came from).
You have every right to use names that reflect your own ancestry.
[name_m]Plenty[/name_m] of people use Irish names even when they aren’t Irish themselves, for example.
You using names from your own heritage is completely okay. I think it’s rude of people to make assumptions about people based on how “generic” or “American” their last name sounds. Marriage doesn’t erase the other person’s history; a new last name doesn’t erase years and years of heritage.
It’s your heritage! I could see why the situation might be questionable if you were using names from cultures you had no ties to, but it’s a part of you and it will be a part of your children too.
As for the last name thing, in our increasingly global world, it’s probably not as weird as you think. A lot of children are of mixed heritage and have names that reflect that. If anyone questions your name choice, it’s easy enough to explain why you picked an Italian name in particular. What really matters is that the name makes sense to you though.
You have every right to use Italian names being Italian! [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let anyone and anything convince you otherwise!
[name_m]Turner[/name_m] and [name_m]Cooper[/name_m] are English surnames, not American. What is an American surname? [name_m]Cooper[/name_m] is just as American as Goldberg, [name_m]Mohammad[/name_m], or [name_m]Ramirez[/name_m]. Of course you can use Italian names to honor your Italian heritage. Have you considered using your maiden name as a middle name for your children?
I would say it’s just bullsh*t when people say you cannot use a name because of it’s heritage, especially when it reflectie YOUR heritage. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let anyone tell you otherwise!
And maybe a tip: if you cannot find a name that you like as a first name, or you feel like it still doesn’t fit your last name, you can always put that name as a middle, or you could use a nickname or something. You don’t have to, but my sister (her husband is half Japanese) found it difficult so they now use more American nicknames for their children, for them that was perfect so I thought I would [name_f]Thora[/name_f] it in as an option.