Names you can't agree on?

I’ve been fortunate and my husband is pretty great with liking my unusual name choices and is fine for them on any future kids. I’ve seen a lot of berries complain about the pain of name disagreements, which I know can be horrible.

So what names do you and the significant other not see eye to eye on (names that were a big deal to you/them)? What reasoning did you/they have for vetoing the name?

Before we were married, I shared my love for [name_f]Stella[/name_f] with my husband-he hated it. I quickly gave it up since we agreed on [name_f]Eliza[/name_f] and I could understand the harsh t sound he heard in [name_f]Stella[/name_f].

For three years I’ve been trying to convince him of [name_f]Nora[/name_f]…I can’t give up on this one, it seems perfect to me. Unfortunately my husband sees old lady imagery…

We don’t generally have strong disagreements, however we are yet to have children so we’ll see!

I have been trying to get my husband to love [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] (as a middle). I am blessed in that he loves my first name ideas for our next daughters, though truth be told, we came up with them together. We started discussing baby names on our 3rd or 4th date years ago, much to our friends’ amusement! But I do think it’s an important conversation to have with your SO prior to conceiving a child! If he had insisted on names I hated ([name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_f]Norma[/name_f], [name_f]Margot[/name_f], [name_f]Emma[/name_f], etc) I would never have married him, soul mate or not. [name_f]May[/name_f] sound harsh but it’s true!

Most of the time we see eye to eye name-wise. We have the same style, but even within your own style there are names you dislike. SO those are the names we disagree on.

Name he likes, but I don’t:

Names I like, but he doesn’t:

He doesn’t really care for any of my names but he never gives me suggestions or tells me what type of names he likes. So with our daughter I narrowed it down to the two names I liked the most and let him pick. He still didn’t care for the middle name choice so I let him pick that out.

When we first started dating, my fiance said he wanted to have a daughter named Anyi Sayuri after someone he met while coming to [name_u]America[/name_u]. I didn’t like the idea because neither of us is Chinese or Japanese. We ended up naming our daughter [name_f]Noemi[/name_f] Xochitl, which we both agreed on. When coming up with names, I gave him a list of girl names and he said which ones he liked. The only name I remember him having a reason for not wanting to use was [name_m]Javier[/name_m] because he has like 3 relatives with that name.

Aw I like [name_f]Stella[/name_f]! I would be too tempted to use the middle name of [name_f]Luna[/name_f] though… xD

I love [name_f]Nora[/name_f]. I had never really heard it until I started watching a specific TV show. While it’s not a name I would use specifically, I think it is great. We don’t have kids yet but we want to have them next year so I talk names 24/7. He’s pretty easy going and thankfully hasn’t shot down my ultimate name loves.

I love the idea of [name_m]Crispin[/name_m] as a middle name for [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], but DH just won’t agree to it. And, thus, we continue our never-ending search for an [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] combo…

He also vetoed both my favorite names: [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] and [name_f]Zoe[/name_f]. [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] got the boot because our nephew’s name is [name_m]Colin[/name_m], which is traditionally a nickname for [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m], and he didn’t like the idea of cousins having such closely related first names. (Same thing with [name_f]Helena[/name_f] and [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], both which he thought were too close to our niece [name_f]Elena[/name_f].) [name_f]Zoe[/name_f], on the other hand, reminds him of a student he once taught who made a terrible impression on him, plus he thinks it sounds a little too cutesy as a formal name. So instead of [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] and [name_f]Zoe[/name_f], we have [name_m]Dominic[/name_m] and [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] (which he doesn’t mind if I nickname [name_f]Zoe[/name_f], as long as he can call her [name_f]Belle[/name_f]) on our list.

Turning the tables around, DH would love to use [name_u]Francis[/name_u] as a middle name due to several personal connections for both of us, but I just don’t really care for [name_u]Francis[/name_u] at all. I also immediately vetoed [name_m]Isaac[/name_m], [name_m]Atticus[/name_m], [name_f]Alice[/name_f], [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f], and [name_f]Savannah[/name_f] from his first list, all which I kinda hate but he loves.

Luckily, though, there are a lot of other names we do agree on!

My partner loves the name [name_f]Melisande[/name_f] for a girl, after a princess from his favorite movie as a little kid. I’ve tried, but so far I just can’t bring myself to like it very much. Neither of us are [name_m]French[/name_m] at all, and I feel like it sounds awkward when I try to say it out loud. I’m hoping to sway him towards [name_f]Matilda[/name_f], [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], or [name_f]Marigold[/name_f], but we’ll see.

For a boy, he likes [name_m]Crow[/name_m] and [name_m]Swayne[/name_m]. I like a lot of “bird” names, but [name_m]Crow[/name_m] makes me think of the Native American nation and I don’t want to be like one of those insensitive white people naming their kid [name_u]Cherokee[/name_u] or [name_u]Cheyenne[/name_u]. I can’t stand [name_m]Swayne[/name_m], it sounds like a combination of “swine” and “drain,” yuck. I’m also not a fan of surnames as first names, especially when there’s no family connection.

I tend to like old fashioned, British, frumpy old people names (plus we both have British ancestry). He likes names that he thinks sound “cool” and sci-fi/fantasy-esque. The funny thing is that he has a very classic, common-throughout-history name and I have a very 20th century, my-parents-picked-it-because-it-sounded-cool-to-them kind of name, without much of a history. We both dislike our own names, he wants a more “unique” name and I wish I had a name with history, or at least some really cool literary connection. I guess the grass is always greener?

I like the names [name_m]Peter[/name_m], [name_u]Robin[/name_u], [name_m]Theodore[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Hugo[/name_m], [name_f]Beatrix[/name_f], [name_f]Agnes[/name_f], [name_f]Mary[/name_f], [name_f]Mabel[/name_f], [name_f]Jane[/name_f], etc., which he dislikes. He likes some of my guilty pleasure names, like Galadriel or [name_f]Eowyn[/name_f], but I don’t think I’d actually want to use those on a child. Luckily he’s on board with my number one favorite (and non-negotiable choice for my first daughter), which is an old fashioned, British name that is also pretty unusual and has an adorable nickname. I also care way more about names than he does, so I think my vote will have more sway when it comes down to it.

My husband mostly dislikes most of my name choices… or he likes them enough, just not for our kids.

We don’t really talk about it - he asked not to get sucked into my name obsession until we are actually expecting.
(He might have to deal with talking when we start trying to conceive).

My husband and I agree about 75% of the time. He is a pretty adventurous namer, but we do disagree.

He loves [name_u]Stanley[/name_u] (a family name for him) but no matter how much I try to embrace the old man charm of it, I just can’t get on board naming my son that. [name_m]Stan[/name_m] is just stuck with [name_f]Gertrude[/name_f] and [name_f]Bertha[/name_f] in the musty closet of the past.
He would say the same thing about my love for the name [name_f]Maud[/name_f].

I tend to like more color and word names than he does. I love [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] and [name_f]Lilac[/name_f] - he thinks both sound a bit silly. Ditto to certain whimsical names like [name_u]Sailor[/name_u], [name_f]Tigerlily[/name_f], [name_u]Fable[/name_u] etc.

As far as top 100 names, he prefer [name_f]Lily[/name_f] to [name_f]Lila[/name_f] which I just can’t get over! He also does not like [name_f]Sadie[/name_f] which I am fond of.

This is a great post! My husband and I were combative in choosing names for both our daughters.

Names I liked but, he didn’t:


Names he liked but, I wasn’t fond of:


My husband really wanted to name our daughter [name_f]Siobhan[/name_f]. I think he only likes it because his dad had wanted to name his little sister that, but his mom wouldn’t go for it. I wouldn’t go for it, either. I hate it. The sound, the spelling, nothing about it appeals to me.

His second choice was [name_f]Moira[/name_f]. I always like [name_f]Maura[/name_f], though. In high school, I went to see one of my friends perform in a play and one of the other actresses was named [name_f]Maura[/name_f] - it’s been on my list since I read it in the program. Since it’s mainly just a spelling variation -both are anglicized versions of the Irish Máire (we do pronounce them a little differently, though) - he compromised “because I was the one giving birth”.

This time around, if we have another girl, he wants to name her [name_f]Brigid[/name_f] after the patron saint of [name_f]Ireland[/name_f]. I wasn’t fond of it at first, but when I told him that he refused to talk to me about names anymore “because I always shoot down his suggestions”, so I decided to give it a chance and it has grown on me. There are other names I like more, but the Irish thing is important to him and I can at least picture [name_f]Brigid[/name_f] as a child of mine, unlike [name_f]Siobhan[/name_f]…

I don’t think name opinion is something that would ever dictate who I would have married since there’s about 1000 more important factors (such as compromise, which would help with the name situation :D) but I think it’s important to talk about naming options prior to having babies. Not just names, but child raising styles in general.

I would cringe if my husband loved old lady and old man names. Thankfully he basically leaves me to come up with names and I just send them his way for approval before finalizing them. You and your husband coming up with the names together is great though :slight_smile: it’s nice to have a hands on guy. My husband isn’t as interested or picky as I am (I’m also not pregnant, he’s more of the type to be excited when it happens. So like…2 months before I’m due he may worry about names! XD)

You two both have such unique naming styles! I’ve never heard of any of these before. I love Avienne.

I feel your pain! My husband would never offer suggestions, and when he did (other than his name, [name_m]John[/name_m]) he suggested [name_m]Ryker[/name_m]… so I told him not to worry about suggesting names xD

I’ve seen a lot of people alternate who picks the first name and who picks the middle. It seems to work well for a lot of couples :slight_smile:

What a unique name! [name_m]How[/name_m] do you pronounce it?

My plan is to come up with a list of names and my favorite name combos and let him write his favorites in order then compare and discuss.

J names are out for me for a similar reason for why your husband didn’t want [name_m]Javier[/name_m]. We have a ton of J names on both sides and it is just too much for me.

Oh man, I’m horrid with tthinking of middle names! I wish you tons of luck finding a good combo. I have never ever heard of [name_m]Colin[/name_m] as a nn for [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]. Are you in the states? I’ve only ever heard of [name_u]Nick[/name_u] and [name_m]Cole[/name_m]. Always something to learn on Nameberry!

[name_f]Zoe[/name_f] I’m not a fan of because I went to HS with a really nasty crap personality girl names [name_f]Zoe[/name_f]. She’s the only one I’ve ever know so it ruined it for me.

At least you have a lot you do agree on! Hopefully the important ones. I have a few my husband shot down, but thankfully he agreed on all of the ones that really mattered and that I would have fought tooth and nail for (which is a miracle as they’re more unique names).

Thankfully DH and I were able to choose a name for our little girl due on Nov 27 that we both loved! [name_f]Isla[/name_f] is the name we chose. However, there were several names that we just couldn’t agree on, all girl names. We usually agree on boy names fairly easily.

His choices that I vetoed:

My choices that he vetoed:
*basically he doesn’t like longer names.

SO has just informed me that he doesn’t like [name_m]Barnaby[/name_m], which crushes me. It’s such a good name, and it sounds amazing with his LN! :frowning: He thinks it’s too clunky and doesn’t like [name_m]Barney[/name_m] as a nickname. But I could probably convince him since I’ll very likely concede to his request to use [name_m]Lester[/name_m] to honor his grandfather. It’s a pretty good bargaining chip! He does like [name_u]August[/name_u], [name_m]Roland[/name_m], and [name_u]Whitney[/name_u] though, so I can’t get too upset.

We disagree more on girls names, which is better because I have more girls names that I like and therefore more ‘expendable’ options. Like, he doesn’t appreciate [name_f]Leona[/name_f] and [name_f]Flora[/name_f] like I do, but he likes [name_f]Florence[/name_f] and [name_f]Beatrix[/name_f]. I can live with that. I don’t like his favorite girls’ name ([name_f]Lily[/name_f]) just because it’s sooo popular, and he doesn’t like a lot of my “old lady” names. But we’ve found some compromise names we both like, like [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] and [name_f]Beatrix[/name_f] and Lilleba.