When I started assembling my name list, I wasn’t looking for the ultimate names for my future children. [name]Just[/name] a bunch of name combos that I loved that I could keep until the time came, so I had a starting ground.
But now that I’ve been at it for so long, I’ve come to have the ideal name combos for both a boy or a girl.
However I feel like having the name picked out for years before hand isn’t “personalized” for the child you know? Kind of like it’s just what the parents like, without factoring the child at all, because, c’mon, how can you from 6+ years away? I like the idea of at least seeing the child before giving them their lifelong gift.
I know I’m only 19, but I tend to love names for years at a time. My last top names list lasted me 4 years of strong love, and the first names were my number one for a lot longer.
([name]Alexia[/name], for example, was my undying, unwavering, favourite for a total of 6 years straight.)
I’ll be 20 in 3 months, so it’s quite possible that my latest favourites could very well last long enough to be used on future children, so it got my mind going.
What do you think about naming potential children years before having them? [name]Do[/name] you rather waiting until the birth?
After all my children were born, I realized the three girls all had names I’d loved since my teens or early twenties, for at least ten, or maybe fifteen, years. This worked for us because my husband wasn’t picky about names and didn’t have first name suggestions. That may be different in your case.
I think its great to choose your favourite names and develop your naming style years ahead, even though you may have to drop some of them if the father doesn’t like them. My children were born in the '90s and early 2000s and I wish I’d had Nameberry to help me know and understand names and develop my style.
I was no good with waiting until they were born to finalize the name; we did that during the pregnancy. We always had a boy’s name and a girl’s name chosen, since we never knew the gender ahead of time.
having a name in mind for years in advanced isn’t being impersonal. Of course you don’t have “that baby” to go with the name, but holding onto and cherishing a name years before there is a baby is just as sweet in my mind as waiting until you see the baby.
I think choosing, thinking about, combining first and middles, and cherishing a name beforehand is for a lot of people similar to loving a baby, their baby, that won’t arrive for some time. I’m not ready for kids (at the age where my peers are, left and right, but i’m not there yet financially or professionally) but i obsess over names. It’s likely my way of coping with it not actually happening for a few years. Nothing wrong with it!!
Also, there’s a very slim chance that many of us will actually have all the children necessary to use our favorite names. Simply not wanting or being able to have 5 or 15 kids (lol), considering the other parent’s input and opinions on our favorite names, names that don’t go well with the last name or sibling names, etc. So by having our favorites in lists (and guilty pleasure lists, too!) we get to entertain our imaginations. Quite fine with that!
My very dear friend and myself were baby name freaks for years and years as kids. We’d regularly talk names and update our lists. She had a name in mind, [name]Brendan[/name], for YEARS that she was definitely going to use for a boy. Without a doubt- and this name was her favorite from age 10 til 24 or so. She was definitely going to have a boy named [name]Brendan[/name], thankyouverymuch. Until she met and married her (wonderful) husband, who despises the name. Cannot stand it, i don’t think he’d even use it for a middle. I think she did mourn a little bit for the brendan she’ll never have.
But it is kind of funny, because of all her past favorite names, not one of them is a name she will be using in the future. Her husband is Irish and they’re going for all Irish names. I bet in a million years she wouldn’t have thought to name her baby girl what she did ([name]Saoirse[/name]), without the consideration of her husband!
THere’s no harm in picking out names for future babies now, as long as you plan on being flexible when the actual baby arrives. I LOVED the name [name]Anastasia[/name] for years and years, but when I was pregnant with baby #1, I unexpectedly came across another girl’s name that trumped [name]Anastasia[/name] -[name]Eliana[/name]. Unfortunately for my girls’ names list, #1 was a boy… if & when I have a daughter, [name]Eliana[/name] & [name]Anastasia[/name] will still be on my list, but perhaps they will feel old by then too.
Naming a child 6 years in advance is not really different than picking a name while pregnant, but before the baby is born. Some people wait 'til baby is born and then decide if a name suits the child. Some people have dreams where the child’s name is revealed. But, MOST people choose a name they love and the child grows into the name.
I don’t see anything wrong with it! I think it’s really cool actually if you can tell your child that you’ve loved their name for YEARS!
My mom loved my name starting in her early twenties(she had me at 36ish) but it took her until baby number 3 to convince my dad to name me [name]Grace[/name] and she still really loves my name(she’s a closet name nerd I think).
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with picking out a baby name years in advance.
My mom read my name in a book when she was 16 and she said if she ever had a girl, she would name her [name]Chelsea[/name]. She didn’t have me until she was 29, and she did name me [name]Chelsea[/name]. She didn’t have a middle name picked out or anything, but she did really like [name]Chelsea[/name].
My favorites change a lot, but one name I’ve loved since I was 13 is [name]Emma[/name]. As of right now, if I ever have a girl, I would name her [name]Emma[/name]. But we’ll see when I actually have kids.
But no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this at all.
There’s nothing wrong with it, but it is a little implausible. When you partner up with someon and have children with them, your baby will be getting a surname (yours, theirs, combo, hyphenated variant, something); someone else’s family; someone else’s heritage and traditions; and someone else’s preferences.
[name]Alessandra[/name] might be absolutely perfect, but not if you marry an [name]Alexander[/name] or a Mr [name]Lisandro[/name]. Or someone with a sister named [name]Alexis[/name]. Or an ex-girlfriend he loathes named [name]Alessia[/name]. Or a family tradition that the first-born daughter must be named [name]Mary[/name] in some fashion. Etc.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all, it’s nice to be prepared. Although, like other posters have mentioned other factors will one day come into it such as husband’s preferences or family traditions.
I’m currently single so haven’t had any name discussions but I’m dreading the day when I do because I’m not sure I can part with my favourites. My girl’s names are also pretty out there for normal Uk standards so I don’t think they will appeal to most. Then I just can’t imagine not having a little [name]Isaac[/name], oh so this actually makes me think it’s best not to plan in advance lol.
There’s nothing wrong with having a favorite picked out now. I think more people name a baby during pregnancy than after they’ve seen him/her, and it’s impractical to wait a significant amount of time to get to know the baby first.
That being said, I have to agree with the previous posters that there are a lot of things that could cause problems: the dad could hate the name for various reasons, the name could sound awful with his surname if you use it, a negative association could come up between now and then, popularity issues could arise, your best friend/sister/whoever could use it before you get the chance, your own tastes could change, etc.
So while I think it’s fine to have a favorite name in mind now, do so with some flexibility. I’m 32 and still like the girls names I fell in love with in college. Meanwhile, negative associations from my personal life ruined a couple of my boy favorites. If possible, keep a few names in mind, instead of getting set on “the one”.
Plus, it’s not a bad idea to have a list if you plan on having more than one child, so you don’t feel like your first has the perfect name and the younger sibling(s) have something you just scraped together because the best name was already used.
I’m sixteen and I have already secretly named my future kids(well, first names at least). But I have a shortlist instead of a “NO THIS IS THE ONLY NAME I WANT”.
and she still really loves my name(she’s a closet name nerd I think).