Naming a baby you lost

Parentberries
1

It’s hard to discuss or put into words but after spending hours thinking about names and discussing what we like and don’t like, the way we wanted to end our sibset, we lost our baby at 13 weeks.

I am finding it really hard. A nurse at the hospital suggested that we name the baby as it might help us to grieve. I think it would really help but I am unsure what the name should be. We don’t know if baby was a boy or girl. I would like the meaning to reflect the loss of the baby but also the joy we experience in the 10 weeks before I miscarried. I’m not afraid to use a guilty pleasure name if it has the right meaning.

I’m hoping that some of you smart berries could help us out. xx

2

[name]Lenore[/name] is a name that means “light” and is in [name]Edgar[/name] [name]Allan[/name] Poes famous poem The [name]Raven[/name]. It is a beautiful poem, here is an excerpt:
“For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named [name]Lenore[/name] -”
And here is some more:
“It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named [name]Lenore[/name] -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named [name]Lenore[/name]?”
It is a beautiful name, but also a very sad name. Here’s a link to the full poem:
http://www.heise.de/ix/raven/Literature/Lore/TheRaven.html
Another suggestion is to use the meanings of names to form a message of love. For example, [name]Priscilla[/name] [name]Carys[/name] can mean “forever loved”.
My sincerest condolences on the loss of your baby. I hope you find the perfect name to remember him/her by.

3

If you’re not planning on having another baby, I suggest using a name you really love as the fn, and a virtue name as the mn. Since you don’t know if it was a boy or girl, perhaps you could use a unisex name?

For girls:
[name]Iris[/name] was the Greek goddess who rode rainbows between heaven and earth.
[name]Celia[/name] or [name]Celine[/name] means heaven.
[name]Talia[/name] means gentle dew from heaven.
[name]Nadia[/name] means hope.

More names with happy meanings here: Happy Baby Names: Cheery choices for your child | Nameberry

I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family recover well.

4

I’m so sorry for your loss, that’s so sad.

I’ve picked out some unisex names for you.

Lior “my light”
Liron “my song, my joy”
[name]Aviv[/name] “spring”
[name]Raz[/name] “secret”
Shalev “tranquility”
Maayan “spring of water”
Keshet “rainbow”
[name]Ori[/name] “my light”
[name]Amit[/name] “friend”

Alder: this is a sacred tree, a tree with healing qualities associated with protection, endurance and harmony. It’s linked to fairies, it was believed that the alder trees allowed passage between the worlds. the alder trees also enrich the soil around where they grow.

[name]Cedar[/name]: an evergreen tree associated with immortality. The smoke of a cedar tree is purifying.

Dandelion: symbolizes that wishes can come true, happiness and faithfulness.

[name]Linden[/name]: associated with peace and justice. a tree of protection.

Vervain: valued as a healing herb, associated with the divine. used in spells of protection, love, chastity, purification, prosperity and healing.

[name]Rowan[/name]: “divine inspiration”. believed to have healing powers and protective qualities.

[name]Quince[/name]: used in magic spells related to love, protection, happiness. seeds can be used as protection charms.

[name]Hazel[/name]: symbolizes reconciliation, knowledge and inspiration. Hazelnuts can be used for protection.

Myrrh: associated with protection, purification and healing. one of the gifts of the magi, and used as a part of the embalming process. Used as a medical herb to treat infections.

[name]Phoenix[/name]: the mythological bird who dies in fire and is reborn from the ashes.

[name]Dove[/name]: symbolizes peace and love, represents the soul.

5

I am so sorry. We lost two, one at 21 weeks and one at 5. For our 21 weeker ([name]Felix[/name]) we went with a first name we had discussed and chose his middle name ([name]Emmanuel[/name]) because of the meaning “God is with us”. For the babe at 5 weeks I simply refer to that child as Rosebud. A friend sent me a pot of little rosebud’s when sge heard of this loss (almost a year to the day of us loosing [name]Felix[/name]) and because the babe was so small and just starting out, Rosebud seemed fitting.

Go with your gut in choosing a name, its a healing process and naming for me at least has helped to make those children “real” and not simply an event that happened and that was that.

Much love,I have noname advice but am here if you need to talk about this difficult subject.

6

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve not personally lost a baby but I do feel strongly that naming the child is a very important step to both healing as well as commemoration. Often in miscarriage you as the mother feel so isolated and alone in your grief, as many others-- even baby’s father-- have no direct experience of the child, only an abstraction. Later in pregnancy and of course after birth the loss is more easily shared. Naming the child and asking family members to refer to him/her by name can really help those who weren’t carrying him/her, but who still loved him, to grieve-- and to remember.

You might give this baby the name you’d selected (or, one of the names), if you had an intuition as to the gender. That can help commemorate him and link him to the ideal of the baby you were dreaming of, and hoped to have. Conversely, if you’re still considering trying for more children, and you think you’d like to use the names you’d selected for a future baby, you might select a name that has especial significance for you during these last 13 weeks (which could be anything-- the name of the coffeeshop you walked past when you went to purchase the pregnancy test, a name related to the nickname you called the developing baby in that early ultrasound, anything), rather than a name out of a book.

[name]One[/name] name I like is [name]Halia[/name] (ha-lee-ah). It’s quite different from your daughters’ names, as it’s Hawaiian, but it means “remembrance of a loved one.”

[name]Rosemary[/name] is a beautiful name, and in the ancient symbolism of the flowers, it signifies remembrance.

7

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I’ve been in the same boat, one at 11 and 1/2 weeks and one at 18 weeks. I only named my 18 weeker because I knew it was a girl, saw her, held her… but I say you do whatever helps you through. A word with some meaning to you that can pass as a name would be lovely. I’ve found it’s more for me than anyone, I hardly even told anybody her name, but it helps me feel the realness of her having been with me for a while. I hope you can settle on something that fits and brings you some peace and comfort.

8

I was about to add [name]Halia[/name], but [name]Blade[/name] beat me to it.

9

Thank you. You have all given me so much to think about.
Names are such a huge thing for me (as I’m sure you all understand!) and I feel like I can get some peace by naming the baby
I will let you know when we decide on a name.
Thank you again for all you suggestions.

10

Good luck and again I’m so sorry.

11

As little as they help. A thousand cyber hugs to you and your husband.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.

12

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you’re going threw. What about [name]Esme[/name] - meaning beloved?

13

[name]Adalia[/name] - God is eternal (Your baby has eternal life)
[name]Angel[/name]/[name]Angela[/name] - Messenger of God (God sent your baby for a reason)
[name]Annalisa[/name] - favored with God’s bounty
[name]Azaria[/name] - Helped by God
[name]Bethel[/name] - House of God (she is now in [name]Heaven[/name])

Boy:
[name]Amadeus[/name] - loved by God
[name]Amos[/name] - [name]Borne[/name] by God
[name]Azrael[/name]/[name]Azriel[/name] - Helped by God
[name]Caleb[/name] - devotion to God
[name]Corey[/name] - God-peace
[name]Elias[/name] - The [name]Lord[/name] is my God
[name]Elliot[/name] - The [name]Lord[/name] is my God
[name]Eoin[/name] - God is gracious
[name]Evan[/name] - God is gracious; born of yew; youth
[name]Ezekiel[/name] - Strength of God
[name]Gabriel[/name] - God’s able-bodied one; hero of God
[name]Ian[/name] - God is gracious

You are very blessed to have this sweet child enter your lives, even for such a short time. I know this baby will be forever in you heart, although you cannot hold her in your arms. A pregnancy is such a joyous event, and a miscarriage can seem like a punishment, but everything that God does is part of his plan. This verse: “I prayed for this child, and the [name]Lord[/name] has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the [name]Lord[/name].” [name]Samuel[/name] 1:27-28

love,
[name]Ivy[/name]

14

My husband and I spent a lot of time thinking separately about the names suggested by you lovely berries and the ideas about naming/meaning you gave us. When we both came back and talked to each other about it we had both decided on the same name separately. [name]Phoenix[/name].

When I read [name]Ottilie[/name]'s suggestion of [name]Phoenix[/name] it really stuck with me, there is a story behind why we chose it but I would like to keep it close to my heart, for now at least. Thanks you again for all of your thoughts, suggestions and support, although I don’t know any of you personally it means more than you know. xx

15

Congratulations on naming baby [name]Phoenix[/name]. It’s a lovely name. Again I am so sorry for your loss and hope that his name helps bring closure and remembrance. Use it as much as you feel comfortable when speaking of the baby to others.