I’m expecting a baby girl, and we are in the process of picking a name. I would [name]LOVE[/name] to name my daughter after one of my grandmothers. I was very close with both of my grandmothers (equally), and they both died when I was fairly young (11 and 15).
Basically I have three options:
Pick one of the names and risk offending either my mom or dad (whose mother’s name I don’t choose). Also, we might be stopping at one kid-- if we have a second daughter, I would obviously use the other grandmother’s name for her, but we might not have another (or we might have a boy).
Use one grandmother’s name as the first name and the other as the middle name-- but I really don’t think that they “go” together.
Use neither. But I really love both of the names and I would love to honor my grandmother(s) in this way.
Note: I did not disclose the names on purpose, because hearing “I like Name A better than Name B” wouldn’t really be helpful. They are both equally lovely and normal (although a bit uncommon) names, and I would be happy with either, so it’s not really about which name to choose.
Has anyone else had this problem?? I really don’t want to offend anyone, and I guess part of me thinks that if I choose only one of the names, I am choosing one of the grandmothers over the other (although if either of my grandmothers were alive today, they would tell me this is the silliest thing in the world to stress over)… so if anyone has been through this before, I’d definitely appreciate any advice!
If you like both names equally (and so does your partner) then why not wait until baby is born and see which seems to fit better? There really isn’t any reason to entertain your parents’ getting mad about your choice, if they do they are being toddlers and should be ignored.
I would use one grandmother’s name as the first name, and the other’s name as the middle name. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if they “go.” Family names trump flow!
[name]Do[/name] they have middle names that you would be willing to use? That could throw two more options on the table for you, and perhaps you could come up with a first-middle name combo using one name from each. Their surnames could also be middle-name options. [name]Do[/name] they have anything in common that you could use as a name–birth month? [name]Favorite[/name] flower? A word that describes both, as in [name]Patience[/name] or [name]Remember[/name] (nickname Mem!)? Good luck!
I would use one grandmother’s name as the first name, and the other’s name as the middle name.
In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if they “go.” Honoring and family names mean so much!
Can you give her two middle names? It might not be the best solution, but if you like both names and have a strong desire to honor your grandmothers, I don’t think it would be a problem. Or is there some way to connect them or something similar about them. For example, my grandmothers are [name]Mildred[/name] and [name]Emilia[/name], and I’ve considered [name]Millie[/name] before.
Hmm, do you really think your parents would be hurt? I mean, did they name a child after their mothers? Hopefully they would just see it as an incredibly sweet gesture for you to name her after either of them. I think I’d be tempted to use the first name of one of your dear grandmothers with maybe the middle name/surname/maiden name of the other one, with either name in the first/middle slots. That way, if you do have a second daughter one day, there is a special family name left for her too. Or, go ahead and use both names, either as two middle names, a first and a middle, or a double first name -you can always use names from your husband’s side for future daughters too if you like. I have a dear friend who is [name]Sara[/name]-[name]Catherine[/name] and named after both of her grandmothers. Good luck, this is a very sweet thing you want to do and try not to be too stressed about what your parents will think. Choosing one name does not mean you are saying you love either of them more or anything!!! It is clear you adore them both.
Honestly, we can’t be of much help with out the names.
That being said, there is so much more to honoring that just using the first names of each person. There are their middle names, they’re favourite names, names they’ve gone by in life, initials, meanings, variants of names, favourite colours, or animals, favourite languages, important places in their lives etc.
Using the first name is more honoring your great-grandparents naming tastes imo. Get creative with it!
Honestly, no, I don’t truly think either of my parents would be mad. They both loved their mothers-in-law (and even if they didn’t, this will be their first grandchild so I think the name is at the bottom of the list of things they’re excited about), so I would say I’m mostly worrying for no reason, haha.
But thanks, everyone! Everyone has given great suggestions-- I never thought about using two middle names or a word that describes/makes me think of them instead of using their given names. Or even waiting until after she’s born. My grandmothers had two VERY different personalities so it might be fun to wait to see which she is more similar to!
P.S. To whomever is thinking about [name]Millie[/name] for their daughter-- that is ADORABLE! I especially love how you combined the two names! Unfortunately there’s no way for that to work out in my situation without treading into [name]Renesmee[/name] territory…
I think if you shared the names we might be able to suggest more solutions.
We thought about honoring grandmothers [name]Marge[/name] and [name]Lena[/name]. The obvious solution is [name]Marlena[/name]. The only problem is I don’t like that name. Ha!
You could combine them somehow, is my point. Or use two middle names, if they work. (In [name]England[/name] there is a tendency to throw names together whether or not they work, and somehow they end up working despite not working. [name]Jemima[/name] [name]Ruby[/name] [name]Winifred[/name], anyone?)
I think that putting the family name in the middle, is a great way to honor the person. That way, you can always use the other name or a variation of that name with a future child. I wouldn’t worry about offending people. It sounds like your parents will be understanding, plus both spouses have sets of grandparents. Unless you have a ton of kids, someone will most likely be left out.
I second the opinion of others about not limiting yourself to the grandmothers’ first names. I am giving my son one grandpa’s last name and one grandpa’s middle name- this way, both are honored, and I get a name that I like.