I’m not in the process of adopting, but it is something I’d like to pursue later on. The question I want to ask is this: what are your thoughts on naming adopted children? For example, do you think adoptive parents should keep the birth name? Give the child a new first name and keep the birth name in the middle spot? Or do you think the adopted child should have a completely new name? At what age do you think it’s no longer okay to change a child’s name without their approval?
[name]Every[/name] situation is different. As much as choosing a name for an adopted child seems like the way to go, I don’t feel that it is necessary.
In the event that I decided to adopt a child, I would first consider their background before I thought of changing their name.
I would wonder whether or not the name reflected a specific culture. The birth name for the child may reflect the culture that the child was raised in or born out of. If the name was reflective of a culture that didn’t match my own, perhaps I would change it. Or if I thought it was a lovely name, I would keep it as a second to give the child something to wonder about.
I would want to give them a name I’d like to call them. but I also understand that it can be an issue. If the child already has a strong and positive association with their birth name, I see no reason to change it.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that I can’t give them a different name “unofficially” (as in, it’s not their legal name but a name I chose out of endearment and such).
But consider that some children who were adopted, never even knew that they were until they were older.
Some parents don’t let their children know right away because the children were infants or toddlers. A name change may not have mattered too much, since the adopted child/children hadn’t developed a strong association with their birth name(s) yet.
My dad was adopted at 4 months old and given a new name, my grandparents did not retain any of his birth names, which I think was fine. I do like when adoptive parents of an international baby retain some part of the child’s heritage. In my work, I have also seen adoptive children renamed. The example that comes to mind is [name]Jordon[/name] who was renamed [name]George[/name], not a huge change in sounds but definitely a different feel. He was just over one years old when he went to his foster parents and adoption was recently finalized, he is now 3. I think under 2 would not be too problematic for changing a name, but I am not a psychologist or expert in child development. I think it is wonderful that you are considering adoption. I am so grateful that my dad’s bioparents chose to give him up and that my dad got to have the parents he did and I got to have the grandparents that I did.
Every situation is different. As much as choosing a name for an adopted child seems like the way to go, I don’t feel that it is necessary.
In the event that I decided to adopt a child, I would first consider their background before I thought of changing their name.
I would wonder whether or not the name reflected a specific culture. The birth name for the child may reflect the culture that the child was raised in or born out of. If the name was reflective of a culture that didn’t match my own, perhaps I would change it.
I would want to give them a name I’d like to call them. but I also understand that it can be an issue. If the child already has a strong and positive association with their birth name, I see no reason to change it.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that I can’t give them a different name “unofficially” (as in, it’s not their legal name but a name I chose out of endearment and such).
About keeping the name as a middle…
If I thought:
it looked nice with my surname
and the name I would like to give to the child
it adds a positive meaning
it would be nice to pay tribute to the cultural/ethnic origins of my adopted child/children
… then I’d be fine.
And I would be running these kinds of questions to my boyfriend/husband as well, if at the time, I had one.
All things considered above, age is a huge factor. How long has the child lived with this name? But more importantly, do they like it? Surely, time breeds experience. And what has their experience with one name or their full name told them about who they are?
The age limit is directly-dependant on the child’s history for me.
The time spent with a word can bring on a significant part of your history.
Certainly all of us here, see what words do to us and how they shape who we are.
On another note:
Consider that some children who were adopted, never even knew that they were until they were older.
Some parents don’t let their children know right away because the children were infants or toddlers… a name change may not have mattered too much, since the adopted child/children hadn’t developed a strong association with their birth name(s) yet.