My husband and I are expecting baby #2 in [name_f]September[/name_f] and I have been lurking for names on this site since I found out. We already have a girl named [name_f]Tessa[/name_f] and we aren’t finding out the gender for this baby, but we had no trouble at all agreeing on a boy name. Unfortunately, picking a name for our first daughter nearly sent us to marriage counselling and this time around it’s worse! We have tried every trick in the book to try to come to some agreement. Making lists and cross referencing them, discussing the reasons we like/dislike names, looking at family names, etc. We just have really different preferences. My hubby almost exclusively likes top 20 names from the 80’s (just before our generation), which I feel are too overused for my liking. I mostly prefer timeless classic names or names from our great-grandparent’s generation, but not ones that are “clunky” or “dusty,” and nothing that is super popular right now.
We both agree that we prefer names that have one easy spelling, are instantly recognizable, definitely nothing made up, unisex or “creative.”
Examples of names I love:
[name_f]Marie[/name_f] (It kills me that he won’t let me use this name - it’s perfect in every way!)
[name_f]Margaret[/name_f]
[name_f]Veronica[/name_f]
[name_f]Sophie[/name_f]
[name_f]Amelia[/name_f]
[name_f]Emily[/name_f]
[name_f]Lillian[/name_f]
[name_f]Coralie[/name_f] (about as out there as my preferences get!)
[name_f]Valerie[/name_f]
[name_f]Chloe[/name_f]
[name_f]Lucy[/name_f]
Unfortunately all of these names make him “cringe” because they are so terrible.
Does anyone have any great ideas for coming to an agreement, or ideas that might meet both of our preferences? It’s hard because we are both picky and to top it off, our last name clashes with almost anything that starts or ends with “da” “an” or “am” and most one syllable names don’t work well.
Thanks in advance berries. Wish us luck - we need it!
When I saw that your favorite is [name_f]Marie[/name_f] I wondered whether [name_f]Marina[/name_f] might suit both of you, or possibly [name_f]Marissa[/name_f]. Other suggestions (& apologies for repeats):
[name_f]Margaret[/name_f]…[name_f]Megan[/name_f]
[name_f]Veronica[/name_f]…[name_f]Victoria[/name_f]
[name_f]Sophie[/name_f]…[name_f]Samantha[/name_f]
[name_f]Amelia[/name_f]…[name_f]Alina[/name_f]
[name_f]Emily[/name_f]…[name_f]Embeth[/name_f]
[name_f]Lillian[/name_f]…[name_f]Lily[/name_f]
[name_f]Coralie[/name_f] (about as out there as my preferences get!)…[name_f]Corinne[/name_f]
[name_f]Valerie[/name_f]…[name_f]Lauryn[/name_f]
[name_f]Chloe[/name_f]…[name_f]Claire[/name_f]
[name_f]Lucy[/name_f]…[name_u]Lisa[/name_u]
[name_f]Jessica[/name_f]…[name_f]Jessamine[/name_f]
[name_f]Jennifer[/name_f]…[name_f]Gwendolen[/name_f]
[name_f]Julia[/name_f]…[name_f]Juliet[/name_f]
[name_u]Ashley[/name_u]…[name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]
[name_f]Rose[/name_f]…[name_f]Rosanna[/name_f]/[name_f]Rosalyn[/name_f]
[name_f]Hope[/name_f]…[name_f]Holly[/name_f]
[name_f]Grace[/name_f]…[name_f]Gabrielle[/name_f]
[name_f]Esther[/name_f]…[name_f]Estella[/name_f]/[name_f]Estelle[/name_f]
[name_f]Ruth[/name_f]…[name_u]Ren[/name_u]ée
[name_m]Reading[/name_m] your post the name I thought would fit best for both you and husband (and as a sister to [name_f]Tessa[/name_f]) is [name_f]Laura[/name_f]. Classic name with lots of history, not super popular right now but was popular in the 80s (though is not a name exclusively tied to that time).
Deciding on [name_f]Tessa[/name_f]'s name was an interesting story… we wrote down lists of favourites and compared, found out we had nothing in common. So we spent hours and hours and hours of coming up with every girls name we could think of to look for one we both liked, but the only ones we agreed on we ruled out because we knew someone with that name - friends, family, church members etc. Eventually my husband gave in to my favourite name as a first and his favourite as a second - [name_f]Marie[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f]. Two weeks before the due date he admitted that he still couldn’t stand [name_f]Marie[/name_f], and we decided on [name_f]Tessa[/name_f], a name I had originally suggested, that we both liked, but had ruled out because of a little girl with the same name in our VERY small church. [name_m]Hence[/name_m] [name_f]Tessa[/name_f]. If I were naming her now, I think I would prefer to give her the full name [name_f]Theresa[/name_f], I feel like it is more mature, elegant and suited to an adult, but we are both happy enough with her name overall.
Thanks ladies for all of the helpful suggestions! I will look through these with Hubby to see if there are any names here we can agree on More suggestions are always welcome too haha!
Your style sounds very similar to mine! [name_f]Tessa[/name_f], [name_f]Chloe[/name_f], [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] and [name_f]Valerie[/name_f] were all on our short-list for our now 5 month old, and I’m hoping for [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] as a middle name for a future girl.
Hubby’s helpful input was [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] (beautiful name, but seriously, the 80’s have really worn it out!) and [name_f]Alice[/name_f].
You say you’re not keen on ones that are too popular right now though, so you might want to re-think [name_f]Chloe[/name_f], [name_f]Amelia[/name_f], [name_f]Emily[/name_f], [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] if that really bothers you? I think they’re all in the top 10, at least in my country!
Some suggestions:
[name_f]Alice[/name_f]/[name_f]Elise[/name_f] - kind of classic, but also fits with some of his suggestions like [name_f]Ruth[/name_f]?
[name_f]Iris[/name_f] - flower name like [name_f]Rose[/name_f], but a bit cooler?
[name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] - could fit into the 80’s but also the present, not over-popular, nice meaning?
[name_f]Zoe[/name_f] as alternative to [name_f]Chloe[/name_f]?
[name_f]Sylvie[/name_f] - updated version of [name_f]Sylvia[/name_f]… part classic, part old lady like [name_f]Ruth[/name_f], part modern? Though I think it’s climbing on the charts.
[name_f]Georgia[/name_f]/[name_u]Josie[/name_u]/[name_f]Kate[/name_f] - bit 80’s, still sound good, could go nicely with middle of [name_f]Rose[/name_f] or [name_f]Grace[/name_f]
[name_f]Josephine[/name_f]
[name_f]Violet[/name_f]
I know… They are names that I love the sound and feel of but may not pick them anyways for their popularity. If my husband also loved one of these names I would probably pick it despite the popularity, but my ideal name would stand out from the crowd just a little more… while still being an undeniable, familiar classic!
Your styles do have a fair amount in common, overall! It seems you like names with a bit more of an established vintage patina, whereas he likes classic simplicity. [name_f]Tessa[/name_f] is a great compromise, in that regard, and I think the sweet spot for you guys would be something equally feminine, understated, and tailored.
You both had picks that landed on the “similar name” tab of [name_f]Tessa[/name_f]'s Nameberry page: [name_f]Coralie[/name_f], [name_f]Rose[/name_f], [name_f]Esther[/name_f], [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], and [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]. I tried to nix anything that seemed too old-fashioned or elaborate (your husband doesn’t seem to share your enthusiasm for longer names) and was left with some strong contenders:
But…what about just [name_f]Mary[/name_f]? It’s a beautiful name, instantly recognizable, but no longer used exhaustively on every other little girl. It also strikes me as halfway between your favorite, [name_f]Marie[/name_f], and his preference for traditional [name_f]Rose[/name_f]/[name_f]Hope[/name_f]/[name_f]Grace[/name_f]/[name_f]Ruth[/name_f], and it would make a wonderful sister for [name_f]Tessa[/name_f]!
We do have a fair amount in common - familiar, classic, simple names - I think main differences are in decades of peak popularity (80’s vs. vintage) and “freshness” for lack of a better term - how unique the name feels today. I feel like his names are a list of my grade school classmates, not a time of life I want to be reminded of, and names that I have heard over and over and over (often followed by initials, because the names were so common!). He specifically said he wants names that don’t stand out in any way, I’d like to pick something just a little more … interesting
I love [name_f]Marie[/name_f] so much because it is just as familiar as [name_f]Mary[/name_f], but feels a little less used, a little more special. It’s also my grandmother’s name (by accident - she was supposed to be [name_f]Mary[/name_f] but her parents weren’t good spellers!). He says [name_f]Marie[/name_f] is “Wrong [name_f]Maria[/name_f]” but I feel like [name_f]Maria[/name_f] feels distinctively Italian or Spanish or Catholic, and we are not, lol. I have considered [name_f]Mary[/name_f] as it still fits both of our criteria very well, but unfortunately it is a name that would be inappropriate for us to use for family reasons.
You make a good point that we’ve both picked some from “names like [name_f]Tessa[/name_f]” - maybe we can explore that list together! Thanks for the help
Sounds like you’re going for classic but not overly popular, and either one or two syllables. Try going to the Social Security baby names website: Popular Baby Names and look by decade. Look for names that have consistently stayed outside the top 20 (e.g. not [name_f]Jessica[/name_f]) but are in the top 500.
Some more suggestions for names that fit this criteria:
[name_f]Amy[/name_f]
[name_f]Alice[/name_f]
[name_f]Jane[/name_f]
[name_f]Nina[/name_f]
[name_f]Caroline[/name_f]
[name_f]Joana[/name_f] / [name_f]Joanna[/name_f]
[name_f]Irene[/name_f]
[name_f]Rachel[/name_f]
What about flower names? Those usually read as familiar but are not overly used. In addition to your husband’s pick of [name_f]Rose[/name_f], there’s:
More suggestions are always welcome too haha! 