Natural family planning? Your stories and advice?

Parentberries
1

I have always struggled with hormonal birth control, I’ve tried almost everything on the market with no luck. After I had my daughter, I had a [name]Mirena[/name] IUD placed and I liked it more than any BC I’ve tried so far but I still had weird symptoms (hair growth on my face, acne, weird cramps/pinches) but a few weeks ago, my IUD just fell out for no reason. My doctor said sometimes they just expel themselves, and I have a 20-30% chance of expelling another one. I asked if I could have a few weeks to think about getting another one. I have always wanted to try natural planning combined with the withdrawal method because it has worked so well for my sister. She has been doing it for almost a year and a half, and no pregnancies so far. We want a second child, preferably not right now, but definitely in the next year or two so I figure this would be a good method to try.

I just would like to hear stories from women that have actually tried natural planning and/or the withdrawal method. Did it work for you? For how long? I read on Planned Parenthood’s website that if done diligently, 7 out of 100 women get pregnant within the first year. And if not done correctly, something like 24 out of 100. Also, I recently ran across something at the Drugstore, they were dissolvable strips you inserted a few minutes before sex that were supposed to kill sperm I believe. It said they last 3 hours. Maybe a combination of planning, withdrawal, and those strips I would be pretty protected?

Looking forward to your thoughts and stories! :stuck_out_tongue:

2

Planning, withrawal, and strips…sounds like you’d be pretty well protected! Although, I’ve never heard of those strips you mentioned!

I was on the pill before my first, and in between kids we just used condoms. I have considered going back on the pill, but I’m not sure if I want to yet. I just have some concerns about the side effects, although I’ve never really had any issues in the past. I’ve done a little reading about [name]Mirena[/name], and I know infertility is a (very small) risk, but I’m not willing to risk it at this point, since we may want to have a 3rd baby. So, right now, we are using condoms every time.

3

I have issues with birth control pills and to be perfectly honest we both think that condoms just suck. We started natural family planning in [name]April[/name]. I figured everything out and even got some ovulation tests to confirm my estimates (while abstaining around the smiley face, which never came) and tried to remember the withdrawal thing. We found out we’re pregnant in [name]May[/name]. We’re ecstatic, but it wasn’t the plan.

It may work for some people, it just (happily) didn’t work for us. We didn’t do it perfectly though. You could maybe speak to your doctor about getting fitted for a diaphragm. They only have a failure rate of 10-39% within the first year with imperfect use. I’m sure it’s way lower when combined with spermicide. Good luck!

4

Definitely read Taking Charge of Your Fertility! So much info there… I’ve been following the method for about three months now, so far no pregnancies, but I’ve been super careful because I stopped the pill after ~11 years, so my cycles are a little strange right now. It’s definitely something you can you, but you really have to be a diligent (might I say OCD?) type of person. I would say do a trial of it for a few months with backup protection in place, and see if you can stick with it.

5

We’re doing NFP but I’m a paranoid freak, so we use condoms all the time, so I can’t tell if you if works, but I have never been pregnant. We don’t do birth control since it’s unnatural. We mainly are doing NFP so when we start trying, we know when to do it since I’m able to calculate when I’m going to ovulate.

You have to chart for about 6 months though before you have an “accurate” amount of information to go off of. So if you want to have sex before you get 6 charts, then you’ll have to use birth control or condoms.

You might also want to take an NFP class. Our church required us to in order for us to get married, so we did the class last year and it was free! They will tell you how to chart and many of them will look over your info to see if you are charting correctly.

Also to be more accurate you can’t just take your temperature, you have to be willing to check your cervical fluid. I was completely grossed out at first, but it’s not so bad now, there’s a toilet paper method so you don’t have to touch it. To be even more accurate they say you should check your cervix opening, but I haven’t and never will do that, it’s out of my comfort zone.

EDIT:
As for withdrawal, there is still a lot of speculation about pre-ejaculation, it has not been proven as to whether or not it contains sperm, so I find it very risky since even if he pulls out, you still risk getting pregnant.

“Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don’t always do it correctl.” - from planned parenthood website.

I’m guessing the 4 were prob a result of pre-ejaculation. Again, this is very “sketchy” data because I’m not sure how you “trust” someone as to whether or not they “always” did it “correctly” so I never trust that information because to me it can be skewed, but again I’m a paranoid person.

6

I’ve struggled with artificial hormones too, and now just use condoms. They’ve worked fine. My pregnancy was planned, and I’ve been married 5 years.
Strips and even foams can mess up the pH level in there, which can be cancerous, and can also give you a yeast infection. It’s also uncomfortable.
The pull-out method may work, but it can also lead to sexual frustration in a guy. It’s hard to get pleasure when you’re constantly concerned about pulling out, and then the dissatisfaction of that. I could see that leading to problems.

7

We have used the withdrawal method as our sole source of BC for the past five years, except for the six months after DD2 was born in [name]April[/name] when I had an IUD. Like you, I had some significant side effects that led me to choose to have it removed.

We have not had a true withdrawal “failure” in this time. We used it for two and a half years before we planned our DD1 (conceived in our second month of trying), and for eleven months until conceiving our DD2 (who was not planned, but was not a withdrawal failure, as DH did not pull out. Alcohol and the withdrawal method do not mix well!). After my IUD removal in [name]November[/name], we decided to go for #3 and I found out I was pregnant with him in [name]April[/name].

Withdrawal requires discipline and much practice on the man’s side, so I wouldn’t count on it working right away and would get a diaphragm or some other back-up method. And we’re aware that in the heat of the moment, there may be a whoops. When we reach the point of our lives that we’re no longer okay with the risk of another baby, we will move to a permanent form of BC.

8

We did some classes by the Couple to Couple Legue. You do not have to be Catholic to do it, although many people are, there were also a few hippie types like DH and I there, ha. Ironically this babe was conceived using barrier stuff, we got lazy with charting. Never using dilegent NFP. I have not been on hormonal bc since the fall of 2001, if you go back 9 months from my oldest sons bday you can see that it didnt work for me ( not to mention the side effects stink for me personally). Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book, ditto on that.

9

Great advice here- nothing to add. We’ve used NFP since after #1 was born. We use condoms when we want to prevent, but we’ve mostly been “not trying not preventing” since then or actively trying-- so I can’t really speak for NFP as a prevention method because we have always been open to having more and I was tracking my cycle more for knowledge of things or ttc purposes. It seems like there would be many days that you might need to abstain or use a backup method- definitely at first until you get enough data like others said.

Another alternative to hormonal bc is a diaphragm. I have never heard of those strips you talked about. My DH doesn’t like withdrawl method, but I know that is pretty effective (along the lines of the stats you and others posted) for several couples we know.

10

So, you only got pregnant when you had an “oops?” I am hoping it works for us for at least a year, give or take a few months. I am not doing it for any religious or cultural reason, I just hate birth control. My husband was a little iffy at first but I think he’s alright with it now. He doesn’t mind withdrawal and I trust him not to make a mistake. So far so good anyway! :rolleyes: After we have a second child, I am willing to get another IUD because I’m pretty sure I only want 2, but I might change my mind later down the road and I wouldn’t want something permanent like getting my tubes tied.

11

My sister has been using the withdrawal method alone, with no charting or spermicide, for almost a year and a half and no pregnancies yet. So, I’m hoping it will work out that way for me. But I might be one of those 4 out of 100 women with my luck! I have also heard, sorry if this is TMI/gross, that if the man urinates right before sex that it eliminates any pre-ejaculate in the urethra. Anyone heard of this?

12

I also recommend reading taking charge of your fertility. We used NFP/FAM successfully for a year in between planned pregnancies with condoms as back up birth control when I was ovulating. My sister has also successfully used it for about 9 months and plans to do so until she’s ready to have kids. After this pregnancy we’ll go back to that for a while until we decide whether we’ll have more kids. Then we’ll look into a vasectomy or paraguard because I do not want to go on any type of hormonal birth control. Good luck!

13

I’ve been on the pill for 6 years and I’ve had absolutely no issues. But I was also having serious period problems where all I would do is lay in bed for a week to 10 days because I was in so much pain.
My fiance and I both dislike condoms so we don’t use them.
On the rare occasion I mess up my pills he’ll pull out but he does get frustrated with it at times.

14

Not sure about the peeing thing, but there is always the morning after pill for “oopsies” however not sure how effective it is or how it will affect your body.

If condoms are an issue, there are now environmental friendly ones that aren’t made of latex, they’re more expensive, but are supposed to be a lot better. We have yet to try them since we want to finish our box first.

15

Yeah, condoms are out of the question. My husband is usually pretty agreeable, but he hates condoms. I don’t really like them either, mostly because it takes some of the spontaneity out of sex. The morning after pill is an idea if we ever mess up, I hear it’s really expensive though. I’ve never taken it before.

16

I wish I was one of the people that could take the pill or shot and not have any side effects. The IUD was alright, but it really hurt putting it in so I’m kind of dreading getting another one. And what if I get a new one and it falls out too? Maybe I could get the Paraguard instead of [name]Mirena[/name], but I’ve heard so many horror stories about Paraguard I’m scared to get it.

17

There are a couple different methods of NFP so finding one that fits your style, what you want to check, etc. should be alright. If you want to do NFP I’d say find a good instructor, one that will work with what you want, because that is going to make all the difference. My cycle was so regular that, before pregnancy, I didn’t even really need to chart-- I knew exactly when I would ovulate and know that sperm can live for up to 3 days inside the woman so really we needed to not have sex 3 days leading up to when I’d ovulate (and we tacked another day to the end of that just in case). We haven’t used any other type of BC, condoms included, but my husband would withdraw for those 4 days a month. There is a great new site up that tells all about the different types of NFP, gives tons of resources including teachers, and lots of other great information-- iusenfp.com I would definitely check this site out to get some in-depth info. Also, my OB said that, if done correctly, NFP (all methods) are 100% effective. It does take some work but there are no side effects whatsoever. Good luck!

18

My cycle was pretty regular up until I got pregnant and then had the IUD afterwards, so it might take it a few cycles to regulate. My mom did natural planning her entire adult life, and I’m her only child (and one miscarriage) so I guess that is a testament to it working. I think we are just going to do the withdrawal method until my cycle regulates, and then I will abstain or use a condom during ovulation. If we got pregnant in the next few months, it wouldn’t be the end of the world I would just prefer it to be longer so [name]Rowan[/name] will be older and maybe potty trained by the next baby.

19

Well, like I said, our “oops” wasn’t really an oops, but more of a heat-of-the-moment baby. But other than that, we’ve planned our oldest and deliberately chose to stop preventing this one, so withdrawal has worked out pretty well for us.

As far as the peeing thing goes, my understanding of this is that if your DH has not urinated since the last time he ejactulated then it is possible for some sperm to be left in the urethra and to end up in the pre-cum. Peeing takes care of flushing these out. So if we’re going for a round two and we’re in prevent mode, DH heads for the bathroom.

20

Have you heard of MaybeBaby? It’s a simple ovulation testing device that is re-usable (rather than the ones that are like preg tests). It is aimed to help conceive, but you could just as easily use it to not conceive. I think it’s easier than a lot of the other testing methods; it’s like a lipstick sized magnifying glass which you swipe a saliva sample over, when the sample dries you look through the viewer and it forms a different pattern if you are ovulating.