So I have a terrible bad no good horrible awful relationship with my mother in law. She steps on my toes and over reaches boundaries every chance she gets. To say I loathe her is the understatement of the century.
Unfortunately for me, she is still involved in our lives. We see her frequently and she has a relationship with my children despite he fact that she and I get into semi regular screaming matches (dysfunctional I know).
My husband and I are expecting our 3rd baby boy this [name_f]February[/name_f]. We are so excited but are really struggling with a name especially since we’ve already used our top 4 (first and middle for both of our older boys). I feel like we are really scraping the bottom of the barrel until I found what I consider to be the perfect name: [name_m]Abel[/name_m]. I love it! It’s different but not made up, has biblical ties, rolls well with our last name, and sounds good with [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] and [name_u]Logan[/name_u] (my two oldest boys names).
I was pretty much set until my best friend pointed out that if name my son [name_m]Abel[/name_m] he will have the same initials as wretched mother in law. My heart sunk because now hat it’s been pointed out to me I think it’s really really going to bother me. I haven’t voiced these concerns to my husband yet because I know he will tell me I’m absolutely nuts but I just want some non biased opinions.
Would sharing the same initials as someone you hate be enough to make you change your baby name? Is this a valid concern or am I just hormonal?
I should point out that he will have a different middle initial than her, but the first and last would be the same… it’s eating at my soul and I’m afraid of having name regret. I just don’t want to give her any satisfaction in being able to tell people it was a nod to her.
I wouldn’t worry about that. He would also share the initial with a large portion of the population. Unless her name is [name_f]Abra[/name_f] or another [name_m]Ab[/name_m] names, I don’t think it is remotely an honor name. Use it and never link it to her initial.
I think if you love the name, than you go with it.
You will be calling him [name_m]Abel[/name_m], not A_.
Deciding on a name is tough - I think it’s good that you are aware of the initial situation now and not after he’s born because know you have time to process it in your head and think of reasons why in the long run, it really doesn’t matter.
I know it’s easier said than done. There was a name that I came across during our search for the perfect name that I initially really liked until I realized that the nickname would put me in a similar situation to yours. I couldn’t get over it because I knew it would be thrown in my face and there was a good chance that the nickname could happen. Initials are different and never spoken out loud, just make sure the middle initial is different and you’ll be good.
I wouldn’t worry about the initials, its the name that counts 
No way, go for it! Sounds like you really love the name and you’re right it really fits your sibset. I don’t think it’s an issue at all, especially if they have different middle initials. Too many people in the world share first and last initials for it to be a deal breaker. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let her ruin the option of all A names for you. I don’t think anyone would automatically assume it’s an intentional honorific either.
[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let your mother-in-law take all A names off the table. You’ve found a name you love, and I think you should stick to it. As others have pointed out, your son will share his initials with many more people than his grandmother.
I don’t think it’s a problem, especially with a different middle initial (you can just always use all three whenever initials are used!). Lots of people in my family have the same first letter to their name and I never thought of it as a deliberate nod to anyone else. Especially for a letter like “A” which is very common for a lot of names (X or Q, you might have a bit more obvious link), and even more so between a female name and a male name.
That said, I think how you feel about a name if VERY important. Hopefully the feedback here will be enough to shake the association out of your mind. But if you continue to have ill-feelings towards the name/initials, I think it would be better to find a backup name than to risk still feeling that way once your little one carries that name.
I hope you can feel great about [name_m]Abel[/name_m], though, I think it’s a good choice and does sound really good with your other sons’ names!