I live about an hour away from my parents’ house and visit them quite often. I even stay with them every other week when my boyfriend is gone to work, for the company and the home cooking. However, I’m not a tree and don’t want to stay rooted to the same place for the rest of my life.
I want to travel and see things and live in a crazy big city or somewhere not labeled on a map. The only problem is I think my mother would have a stroke if I moved any further away from her. As it is, if I even talk to her about moving a few states away, she tries to guilt me into not leaving.
This is driving my boyfriend insane because he’s used to travelling a lot and living in many different places. He’s definitely not happy staying where we are now.
I have a younger brother who’s about to graduate high school, so it isn’t like my mom is alone yet. I suppose she’s just struggling with us growing up.
Sorry for the rant! I just need to know if anyone else has as clingy of a parent as I do. Her main argument is that she won’t have anyone around to take care of her now that she’s “old.” (She’s 48 and has no medical issues…) Am I being selfish for not wanting to live under her in my pitifully small hometown forever? [name_m]How[/name_m] do I even handle this situation?
I see you live in Westeros. There’s a lot of political instability right now and family ties are very, very important. I’d stay close. If your boyfriend wants to travel and have adventures, there are good opportunities to the north.
Family is important. Nothing wrong with traveling or moving away but you may find yourself essentially stuck thousands of miles from your mom and struggle with the distance raising your own family, wishing you could go to your mom’s house with the kids, especially on the rough days. Not saying your feelings aren’t valid, just that your mom’s are as well. She should refrain from guilt trips however. Guilt tripping isn’t okay, my family is good at that.
I think I could have written this same post back when I was 22! [name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I had just gotten married and we moved about an hour away from our three families (he has two sets of parents.) Between the three sets of parents plus grandparents, aunts and uncles, someone wanted us to visit every weekend. We had no time to do anything by ourselves. And like you, we wanted to travel and travel and travel some more and live in a big city.
Anyhow, we went and did all of that! We moved out to Los [name_f]Angeles[/name_f] and then we traveled quite a lot. I am so glad that we did. But after about five years of that, we REALLY missed our families. We tried and tried to move back, but it was 2008 and SW FL (where we are both from) had crashed worse than most of the country. There just were not any jobs. So we moved to NC, near my sister. We love it here and have no plans to move but now that we have a 2.5 year old son, we really do wish that we had all of those grandparents and aunt and uncles and cousins nearby.
SO- the moral of the story is that it is good to travel and move someplace exciting and do fun stuff far away from your people when you are young. You will probably eventually miss them, and it may or may not be feasible to move back. Also, if you just want to travel and not necessarily live someplace different, you could just do that. But don’t feel guilty about wanting to travel or even move.
It will be hard on your mom, but it is part of the job of being a mom- your kids grow up and leave. This is pretty much like having your heart jump out of your chest and announce that it is going to go backpack through [name_f]Asia[/name_f], but all of the moms do live through it. [name_m]Just[/name_m] tell her that you love her a lot and keep in close touch with her and continue to visit her when you can, no matter where you end up.
[name_f]My[/name_f] mother is the opposite. I live in the same tiny town as her, but she is a homebody and never comes to visit, rarely calls me, never invites us for dinner etc. I have to go visit her, call her, invite my parents to dinner etc. If I’m sick and need help I am on my own. I often wish she was more clingy and more involved in my life! Look at the good of it and enjoy feeling loved. I’m sure if and when you move she’ll understand, as long as you promise to visit and call as much as possible.
Yes, the roads aren’t the best place to be just now, anyway. The War of the Five Kings and such going on.