So as you can see from my signature, my son was born in [name_u]November[/name_u] at 24 weeks. He’s really 5 months old now, but corrected age, he’s only just two months and still looks like a newborn.
Because of many medical issues we’d like to TTC again quite close so if anything were to happen our oldest won’t remember it and be young enough to spend the time we might have to be away in the hospital with his aunt or grandma and not make a fuss.
We know what happened and will work with medical specialists and do our best to prevent the same thing in the future but there’s always the possibility that we’ll have another early baby, although hopefully we can extend their stay for a while.
I’m worried people will think we’re crazy for having a “new born” and pregnant again.
I’m worried that if we wait, we’ll have an older child, (whom already needs some special attention) and he won’t understand and be put out by the situation at the time.
I want to hear from some moms who have babies close in age.
Or perhaps some other prem moms who’ve faced the same dilemma?
Or people with siblings that are 9 - 12 months apart.
Is it fun for the kids being so close?
Was your second pregnancy harder on your body?
[name_m]Just[/name_m] in general, what do you think of my worries and what’s your best advice?
Please no negativity. I’ve had many issues with self doubt and blaming my body and feeling like I let him down but he’s doing great and there’s a chance we just got the 1 in a million bad luck. We’re willing to do what it takes to have another baby even if that means doing it tough again.
Thanks for your help!
There is no right answer to this. Listen to your heart!
Thanks, that’s really sweet. 
I always heard that ideally you should wait a year to give your body time to recover. I googled it to see what showed up, and this website says 18 months. That too little of time between pregnancies could increase the risk of premature birth. I would talk to your doctor to see what they recommend.
I was a preemie (2 lbs., 6 oz.) and the doctors advised waiting at least a year to conceive again. My little sister came along 2 1/2 years later, happy and healthy!
That being said, my two children are 3 1/2 years apart, after struggles with infertility. It has been a blessing. I think no matter how close or far apart in age siblings are, it always works out the way it should.
I don’t know your medical situation, but I wouldn’t rush into having another kid. If you’re worried about your son missing you if you need to care for another preemie, encourage close ties with his aunt and grandma now. If he’s familiar with grandma, then staying with her will feel like a special vacation! My daughter is 3 and loves sleepovers at her grandparents and cousins. The prospect of caring for both your son and another potential preemie sounds overwhelming.
My mother in law had all three of her kids very close together. Her middle child ended up living with grandma (I think for about a year) while the youngest was a baby. None of the kids had special needs, it was just that difficult with the kids so close together.
You and your family have just gone through such a struggle, give yourselves a bit of a break (and forgive yourself) before adding another family member.
Nothing that happened is your fault, you did your very best. Take some time to show yourself the same love that you show your little guy every day.
Wishing you all the best.
Ultimately, you should do what is best for you and your family, but I would also consult your doctor before trying to conceive. There may be things they can think of to help you prepare your body that should happen before you even try to get pregnant.
I had a full term baby after an uncomplicated pregnancy, and they still wanted to see at least 12 months between delivery and conception. I think the current health recommendations are to wait at least a year, but that it’s even better to wait 2 years in terms of pregnancy outcomes for mom and baby. Our two will be 21 mos apart and we’re still getting funny looks, and obnoxious questions as well tell people. It doesn’t matter what other people think, but it was important to me that my doctor was supportive.
Also, and please don’t take this the wrong way, I really mean this in the gentlest way possible… your baby is only five months old, which means that your body is still recovering and your hormones are probably still a little all over the place. I know when mine was 5 mos, I was still not getting nearly enough sleep, and making major decisions at that point in time would not have been the best for me, even with my husband’s input. My husband deals with sleep deprivation even worse than I do. And, postpartum hormones are crazy!
Once you have one premature baby, it increases your risk. My third was born at 28 weeks and husband had cancer at the time, I think you need to reflect on your own emotional state. My fourth was a surprise but I felt ready (she was early too), Husband was in remission by this time and my third was doing well but, we gave him time to grow into his age!
Also my two eldest were so much more independent and this was my saving grace!
Follow your heart, Much love, [name_u]Sky[/name_u]