Need honest feedback about name choice

Girl Names
1

Hello! I am 21 weeks pregnant with a baby girl.

My husband and I agree on a name, and we absolutely love it. I have some reservations about the name, though.

I was hoping to get some feedback to either just make the leap and commit to the name or scratch it off the list and start all over again once and for all.

The name:

[name_f]Gretchen[/name_f].

We love it, absolutely love it. It is not a name you hear often, not “made up” it isn’t in the top names, but it is a legitimate and wonderful name.

The problem?

Our last name is [name_m]Wilson[/name_m].

SIGH.

Neither of us are fans of country singer [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m] – and many people these days haven’t even heard of her as she was popular 12 years ago.

BUT – I grew up less than an hour where the singer is from. She was insanely popular in my hometown, and my entire family knew and loved her music. I have a feeling I will get a lot of eye rolls and "ugh"s and a lot of “Really? Out of millions of names…”

My other reservation is that our chosen middle name also starts with a G. So she’ll be a [name_f]GiGi[/name_f], and this is somewhat intentional as her brother (2) has a severe speech delay and giving him an easy nickname for his sister is great. Additionally, our middle name choice is both of our great grandmother’s first name.

My issue with this is that my mother in law has a first and middle name that both starts with the same letter. Let’s say D for example – and she exclusively goes my [name_f]DeeDee[/name_f]. I do not like this woman, at all. And I know she’s going to latch on to [name_f]GiGi[/name_f] like it’s some sort of [name_f]ODE[/name_f] to her – when in reality we ONLY want her brother calling her that.

The main issue is the celebrity issue – the other issue is just me being a petty B.

To add: My husband loves the name, has no idea who [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m] is and sees no issue with this. His favorite movie is Donne [name_m]Darko[/name_m] – and he’s always wanted it for a girl. I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] the name. Tell me what to do experts!

2

I wouldn’t do it. I’m a country music fan though and couldn’t get past the association. Especially if she is from close to where your family is.

3

I haven’t heard of her but if she’s popular, people will continue to ask if that’s who you named her after. If you don’t mind being asked that lots then you should absolutely choose it! I would also look at a few other possibilities because you might just fall in love with another cute name that’s easy for your son to say.

4

Awesome, go for it.

Regarding problem #1 - I also have never heard of [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m]… just sounds like a great name to me. If you get eye rolls from family and some other adults in your town, so what? “Haha nope she wasn’t named after the singer, we just love the name [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f]!” “Nope we aren’t fans, my family likes her music though.” Personally the only issue I would be concerned about is if your daughter would be excessively teased about this while she grows up in that town, but it’s not a bad association (hey who knows, maybe your [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] will end up liking [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m] the singer!), and it sounds her peer group, a generation removed from this person, might never even make the connection anyway.

Now regarding problem #2 - Eh, so don’t let your B [name_f]MIL[/name_f] be the reason you don’t pick the name that’s the right choice for your family. When she discovers her grandbaby was of course nicknamed after her - “Nope, actually her name has nothing to do with you. [name_f]GiGi[/name_f] is only for her brother to use, because of his speech delay. You may call her [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f].” And if she’s the kind of rude person that would ignore something as simple and clear as that, and wants to go on living her fantasy… well, so what? Screw her and enjoy the fact you gave your kid the name you love despite her.

Congrats on your baby girl. I think [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m] is a darling name.

5

Hm. I hadn’t heard of the singer, but I’m not super up on pop singers. I’d be a little hesitant about that. About the mother in law issue, I wouldn’t worry about it. If she thinks [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] is an ode to her, that’d be annoying, but so what? It won’t do any harm.

I rarely suggest this, but in your case, I think it might be warranted: would you consider switching the names? So instead of, for example, [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_f]Gabriella[/name_f], you could use [name_f]Gabriella[/name_f] [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f]? That way, you could still use the [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] nickname and even call her by her middle name if you wanted, but you won’t seem like overzealous music fans.

6

If you’re bothered by it now it’s for a reason…I wouldn’t use it.
What about using the g middle name as then first?
[name_f]Georgia[/name_f] [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m] for example?
Or another g name
[name_f]Gwen[/name_f] or [name_f]Gweneth[/name_f]?

7

Go with what you like. So it happens to be a coincidence, so what? I didn’t put it together until you mentioned it and then was reminded of the one hit wonder country singer. I wouldn’t worry about it. If the name calls to both of you…go with it.

8

I will admit that I did a little eye roll when I read [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m], as I do know who she is. But I’d assume it is literally coincedence and that you didnt give your daughter the exact same name as an idol lol. Not everyone knows who she is obviously lol.
I would flat out tell your [name_f]MIL[/name_f] that she can call her by her first name and not “steal” big brothers nickname for his sister. but if she does its not the end of the world. [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] may decide to exclusively go by [name_f]GiGi[/name_f] as she gets older anyways.

9

I’d say go for it. I have never heard of this singer, and even though your peers have, I’m pretty sure children your daughter’s age will have no idea who she is.

10

I’m not into country music so I had never heard of her but [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] isn’t a very common name and if on top of that it coincides with this singer’s name people will definitely think you’ve named her because of that!

11

Okay.
I like the name [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f], I think it’s a good choice, with plenty of character and, as you say, has just the right kind of popularity-known but not overused. The [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] nickname sounds perfect and for me this sounds like you’ve got it down. As for your problems:

  1. I’ve never of [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m]-so this doesn’t seem like a problem to me at all. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if your daughter grows up in an area where lots of people know about [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m], you’ve already got a ready made nickname to use and you can just explain that you liked the name, and that she’s not named for the singer. I think sometimes people can overthink issues, and obviously there are cases where it really would be inadvisable to use a name. For example, if your surname were Swift, I would not recommend [name_u]Taylor[/name_u], but for lesser-known singers/celebrities I really don’t think it’s too big a deal. There must be 1000s of [name_f]Emma[/name_f] Watsons in the world, they all cope fine. I’m sure [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m] will too.

  2. As for the [name_f]MIL[/name_f] problem, I can really understand why it would be annoying. But surely just letting her think that it’s an ode to her will serve in everyone’s favour? She’ll be happy with a link to her Granddaughter, and you get a name that works for your family and that you love?

I hope some of those thoughts help!

12

I’ve never heard of the singer personally, but if she’s famous where you live then I’m sorry but I wouldn’t do it. Your daughter will likely get comments/jokes about it for many years to come and she may not thank you for that, especially if the association becomes uncool or actually negative at some point down the line. You can’t predict any unflattering news stories down the line that might throw the name into a bad light.

The [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] thing I think is fine, and I actually think it’s a really lovely idea to do that so that your son can pronounce his sister’s name. However, I wouldn’t fixate on it for that reason - family nicknames evolve naturally and I’m sure your son would find his own special name for his little sister even if you ended up calling her [name_f]Agnieszka[/name_f] or something!

Names in a similar vein to [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] for me are:

[name_f]Greta[/name_f]
[name_f]Gretel[/name_f]
[name_f]Liesel[/name_f]
[name_f]Heidi[/name_f]
[name_f]Anwen[/name_f]
[name_f]Margo[/name_f]
[name_f]Marit[/name_f]
[name_f]Maren[/name_f]
[name_f]Doutzen[/name_f]
[name_f]Agneta[/name_f]
[name_f]Agata[/name_f]
[name_f]Greer[/name_f]/[name_f]Grier[/name_f]

13

That’s a hard one. (Yes, I know who [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m] is). I guess you have to decide how much it’ll bother you. If it were me, it’d be a deal breaker. Especially since she’s from a nearby town (meaning she’s probably more popular and well known there than in other parts of the country). But if you and your husband truly love the name, then go for it. My only other suggestion would be to use the very similar [name_f]Greta[/name_f] instead.

As for the [name_f]MIL[/name_f] problem…reiterate her name is [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] and only her brother can call her [name_f]Gigi[/name_f]. I had a similar dilemma with my middle daughter…her mn is [name_f]Kate[/name_f]. My [name_f]MIL[/name_f] is [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] nn [name_f]Kathy[/name_f]. I didn’t want anyone to think she was named for her. No one has ever mentioned it, so I think it was just me being petty. For what it’s worth, I think [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] is an adorable nn and I would use it. Lol

14

I really like @rylane46’s suggestion of [name_f]Greta[/name_f], as long as you like it too. I assume you would feel good about your [name_f]MIL[/name_f] thinking she has a subtle connection through a nickname to her grand daughter and I would encourage that for the sake of your daughter and family harmony. Or, your son may just come up with his own, easy to say nn, and you can call her by her first name and others will follow you.

15

I love [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f]! I have never heard of [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m], so it wouldn’t worry me.

16

Did you say what the middle was and I missed it? Perhaps consider that as a first?

Second question, do you live near where the singer is from, or just visit it occasionally? If you live there I get the feeling it would continue to bother you over time, if you only go a few times of year it may not be an issue.

[name_f]Gigi[/name_f] - if you make a point of not calling her that in front of other people, even if your little boy does, you may be able to dissuade it from being a general nickname. [name_m]How[/name_m] often do you see/talk to your [name_f]MIL[/name_f]? If she’s at your house often, I don’t see how you’ll avoid her using [name_f]Gigi[/name_f], but I’m guessing if you do not like her she isn’t. There really is little similarity between [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] and [name_f]Deedee[/name_f], beyond coincidence.

I love the name [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] though. I hope that was helpful, that’s tough though.

17

[name_m]Hi[/name_m]! I didn’t disappear, I went to bed last night and had doctor visits for a sick toddler all morning.

I just wanted to answer the questions asked:

We no longer live near where the singer is from. She’s from central IL, and we are in Central [name_u]Texas[/name_u]. Hardly anyone around here outside of hardcore country fans have heard of her…and surprisingly, country fans are hard to come by in the city!

The middle name is [name_f]Gladys[/name_f]. Named after both our great grandmothers. So I’m not really keen to use it as a first name instead.

I’m not bothered by the association with the singer so much as I am bothered by knowing I will catch hell from my family when we announce her name – which will not be until she is born. Both mine and my SO’s mothers are not awesome when it comes to name choices.

My mom is blunt and will just tell me she hates it. His mom will pretend to like it while trying to sabotage every effort to use it behind our backs. Our toddler’s name was one my [name_f]MIL[/name_f] disliked ([name_m]Cooper[/name_m]) and she told our relatives that while we were naming him [name_m]Cooper[/name_m], we were calling him [name_u]Jackie[/name_u]. At my baby shower, I got gifts addressed to baby [name_m]Jack[/name_m] or baby [name_u]Jackie[/name_u].

It was humiliating and also very angering – so to avoid the poopshow this time around, we just decided to not tell. Anyone who says bad things about a sweet new baby’s name is a jerk and I can treat them like a jerk. Whereas, for whatever reason – our culture has decided that you can ridicule a pregnant mother’s choice to no end without repercussion.

Believe it or not, this thread helped me immensely. When I read people telling me not to go for it – I bristled up a bit. MY JIMMIES WERE RUSTLED! Which told me that I was attached to the name enough to care. And enough to want to argue about it.

So rather than be “that” poster that argues with everyone who says choose another – I’ll just say a sincere thank you! You guys were a huge help.

18

I haven’t heard of [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f] [name_m]Wilson[/name_m], and I think the only problem there would be if you still live in that same town/area and your daughter would hear it all the time. If it’s only your family who lives there, then it’s probably something you’ll have to deal with for a few months until they get over it.
I am also a petty b, and I think having a person I dislike think that a child is named for them would piss me off far more! Your son could call her G rather than [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] to try to prevent the grandmother from making the association. I have a friend named [name_f]Gabrielle[/name_f] who goes by G as their chosen nickname (rather than [name_u]Gabby[/name_u]) and I think it’s a cute name.
If you love the name, use it! You may need to do a bit of thinking to get around your roadblocks, but I’m sure you can still use [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f].

19

I’ve heard of her, but think you should use it. YOU need to love it, not your mothers. I’m sure my mother would be appalled by some of my choices too! [name_m]Hence[/name_m] why I don’t share in real life, which you should continue to do. [name_u]Love[/name_u] the suggestion of G for a nickname.

Your [name_f]MIL[/name_f] overstepped when she told everyone [name_u]Jackie[/name_u] was your son’s name, I would have no problem telling her that her opinion is not welcomed if she says anything about [name_f]Gretchen[/name_f]. When your mom says she hates it, say too bad! What is she going to do, never visit her granddaughter? People get over it usually.