As an alternative to watching Youtube videos, consider listening to The Birth Hour podcast. I was the first of my friends to have a baby and I really found it helpful just to hear story after story of how it happened for all these people.
I also found it helpful to remember that the labor pain is different from other pain. It’s not mysterious like a headache you can’t fix–it’s purposeful. I appreciated my childbirth class’s showing me how a contraction works, what muscles are moving. It’s not surprising or random like the shock of breaking something or stubbing a toe–it’s more predictable: there’s a rise, hold, fall pattern to it. When a contraction isn’t happening, you don’t really feel pain–I could talk, laugh, dance, walk. Obviously they grow longer, stronger, and closer together so you lose that break and get intense, but the predictability is helpful. Labor pain is also finite (it WILL end, I promise). One breath connects to one breath connects to one breath and you’ll eventually get there. And the reward at the end, the baby on your chest, is really something special. [name_f]Every[/name_f] breath and every contraction is a step closer to meeting them.
Also, it is totally ok to want and get an epidural. Yes, there are some horror stories about them, and they don’t always work perfectly for every body. But 70% of American women opt to get one. I never saw the needle and by the time the anesthesiologist arrived, I couldn’t have cared less about it. I was in the zone and so focused on holding still for her, and the feeling as it took effect was like when the first few sips of a glass of wine hit your system and you feel a little warm and relaxed (not drunk). [name_f]My[/name_f] mother arrived 20 minutes later, and when she asked how I felt, I smilingly told her I was giving my son the middle name Epidural.
And by the time I was ready to push, I was PUMPED! [name_m]Even[/name_m] with the epidural, I was feeling waves of pain and work by the end, and it was such an exciting relief to have a job, an active thing to do.
Make some playlists and borrow or buy a portable speaker to bring. A few weeks before my due date, my husband and I sat together and made three or four: chill music without words, chill music with words, and pump-up workout dance power jams. He had input, but I got the say on every song–I connect to that, it goes on. I think we cycled through the two chill playlists three or four times at least, so make 'em long! When it came time to push, the first song on the power playlist my husband loaded up was K$sha’s “Woman” which made me laugh. It was such a party, my OB sweetly asked us to turn it down so she could hear the fetal monitor. Your goal birth experience (recognizing things are not always in our control!) can be a serene quiet space if that’s what you want–or it can be a celebration, a distraction, a workout.
You got this, mama!
I become nauseous and dizzy at the thought of it. Pregnancy has toughened me up a bit because I knew all these doctor visits were necessary, but I haven’t found much peace about childbirth. I can feel myself growing more worried about the pain of birth each day, and I don’t want to dread it because I am so excited for her to come into the world.
Thank you.
