I’d like to hear your views on nicknames. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you love them or dislike them? And why?
I’ve usually been quite against nicknames. It’s also a cultural thing since in my culture nn’s aren’t as common as in English-speaking ones. I personally feel like I want to give my child the name that will be used because why give a name if you aren’t going to use it? Why not just give the nn as the name? Then again I understand if you love both the longer name and nn like I do with [name_m]Alfred[/name_m] and [name_u]Alfie[/name_u]. [name_u]Or[/name_u] if you feel like you need to have a more “socially acceptable” name to please conservative relatives or in case your child becomes the Prime Minister.
I don’t mean to moralise, I sincerely want to hear about people’s different relationships to nn’s.
In my family we were always playing with language, so we would have our own funny words for things and this would lead to a plethora of nicknames. I’m the eldest of six girls. As my little sisters learned to talk and mispronounced our names, that also led to nicknames, including mine which my close family members still use exclusively. I prefer the nn to my actual name. That’s something I like about nns - the options they give you for your own name choices.
Living in England, your doctor is as likely to be Carrie as she is Caroline - it’s normal for me to hear names that began as diminutives of others, as formal and full names in their own right. So I can relate to this:
Also, I see the benefit of having the best of both worlds if you love Leonidas and Leo, for example, in going for a longer name and getting to use the nn too. That’s a win win situation, I think!
To me nicknames are something cute and friendly used by your close ones, not alternate names. So “why not just use it as a name” doesn’t make much sense to me - because I don’t want to name my child that? I just want something shorter and friendlier to use sometimes instead of the actual name. I’m definitely not against nicknames-as-names but they are entirely different things imo - a name and a nickname. Different purposes.
i like nicknames, but i don’t pick a name based on that! for example, my favorite name is eleanor, and of course i love that name so dearly that i would want to call my daughter eleanor most of the time, but i think it’s fun that based on her personality she could go by nora or nell or ellie if she preferred that!
i see it mostly as giving the child more choices if their name doesn’t fit them
Oooh, right! There are different types of nicknames with different levels and contexts of usage. What I meant with that is people who are always called Tom or Alex even though their real name is Thomas or Alexandra. And the parents planned that from the beginning.I also use all kinds of nicknames and pet names for my family members but also just their names.
I love nicknames, I think a nickname is a special name between two (or more people) that is an indicator of a close bond.
Nicknames as full names?
Yes, if that’s what you plan to call your child all the time anyway. I would add a longer middle name, however.
Personally, I would only choose relatively established nicknames as full names, however, I don’t mind other people calling their kids [name_f]Bitsy[/name_f] & [name_m]Hughie[/name_m].
Full names with nicknames?
Also yes! If you want to give your kid the option of a longer full name, especially if nicknames aren’t popular in your area, that’s also a great idea.
Far-fetched planned nicknames?
Yes and no.
Yes if you actually use the nickname yourself and often enough to make it feel natural to other people; no if you rarely use the nicknames but want other people to call them by it because you prefer it to other nicknames.
Far-fetched nicknames that just came about?
Yes yes yes! All nicknames that just happen are wonderful!
Choosing one nickname over another?
Here my opinion may differ to many others; personally, I believe your kid is their own person with their own relationship to other people; to their siblings, grandparents, friends, etc. and their name is their name, not yours. If one of these people chooses to call the child by their own special nickname, I think that’s a wonderful thing and shows the love that person has for your child (you don’t tend to come up with nicknames for people you don’t care for) and I don’t think you should dictate what that nickname should be.
If my parents told me that my grandpa used to call me Pipsy, for example, but they didn’t like it and told him to stop, I’d feel really sad about that because that could have been a special name between him and me and they robbed me of that.
If the child doesn’t like the nickname, that’s a different story.
I’m with you on this preferring to choose a name we love and using it exclusively and that is likely why we prefer short names that are almost nickname proof. When they are small I don’t mind the occasional ‘ie’ added to it but, e.g. if I loved the name [name_u]Leo[/name_u], I would go straight to [name_u]Leo[/name_u] rather than choose Leonidis as long as the short version is an established name on its own.
Thank you for the comment! Very good takes! I also like nicknames that come out of nowhere and they are often very special. I also agree with you about children having agency over their own name.I wouldn’t mind at all if someone came up with a nickname for my daughter as long as she was okay with it.
Coming from a family where you are guaranteed to be given a nickname even if your name seems virtually un-nicknameable, here is my view:
I have a very nicknameable first name. However, I was called exclusively by my first name up until I was about 8 years old when I was the one who wanted to go by something else. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents are not against nicknames by any stretch of the imagination but because they never intended me to go by a nickname, thats why they never gave me one in the first place. When I decided I wanted to be called by the shortened version of my name, they willingly obliged but because I had asked for it. I think my dad did agree to my first name on the bases that if he wanted to, he could have shortened it but in the end he never did. In my extended family, my dad’s three siblings all go by shortened versions of their names, as well as all bar two of my aunties and uncles on my mums side. Most of my cousins, grandparents and great grandparents all go by nicknames and shortened versions of their names and so in my family, it is uncommon if you don’t just naturally shorten your name. I think I was the exception that proved the rule because even though my friends all call me by my nickname, my family members have resisted the urge for 25 years to call me by anything other than my given name. When my sister came along, my parents gave her a four letter Welsh name that to look at, would seem un-nicknameable. When she was about 3 years old, my uncle tried calling her Cez (the first two letters of her name and then he added a z onto the end of it) but my mum put a stop to it straight away. Her name is a short name anyway and whilst my parents gave her her name because they liked it, her name is one that you cannot naturally shorten so essentially, my uncle was giving her a nickname for the sake of it.
In my opinion, I do like nicknames. I like the fact that I can choose to go by my given name or by my nickname. I don’t agree with shortening the name for the sake of it like my uncle did with my sisters name but if she suddenly wanted to go by Cez or if my parents had said her name is X but she will go by Cez then fair enough. I think that in terms of what to call a child, the lead should come from the parents or the child themselves otherwise I think it is overstepping the mark.
I think for me, I see nicknames from a few different angles. I see the point of putting the shortened version of the name on the birth certificate if that is what you prefer. You might just really love the name [name_f]Beth[/name_f]. So to me, that makes sense. I see the merit in giving your child a name that comes with many different nickname options and letting them be the ones to decide if indeed they do actually want a nickname. But, I also can see (first hand) how annoying it is when someone tries to give your child their own nickname when it isn’t really wanted or needed. In general, I think I would choose a name that I loved and let the nickname follow in time like it did with me. If it came with a nickname that I loved equally then I’d say to my family and friends that her name is [name_f]Victoria[/name_f] (for example) but we will call her [name_f]Vicky[/name_f]. That way she has the option to go by whatever she likes. She might dislike both [name_f]Victoria[/name_f] and [name_f]Vicky[/name_f] and want something completely different but it would have been her choice at the end of the day
Yes, this was a long reply but I hope it has helped
i only like nicknames when they are similar to the full name and when they work as a cutesy way to call them. i agree that i don’t like stretch nns bc why would you give your child a full name and go with a nn that’s very different?
but for example my fav name for a girl is salma, i know one salma and she goes by salmi (or sometimes sal) which i think it’s lovely and very similar to the name. i wouldn’t call her another thing tbh. also i really like alma, and again i would call her almi which it also very similar
but it’s definitely hard bc for example i also really like florian but don’t really like any of the nns, i just love it as a full name
I think nicknames should be used either as a term of endearment or because the person themselves chooses to go by it. I do find it strange when parents give their child a full name but only ever call them by a nickname. I agree that you should just give your child the name you intend to call them, because I think it just becomes more confusing for them to learn their name if they’ve only ever been called [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] and grew up learning their name was [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] and now suddenly you have to tell them one day that their name is actually [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with with calling [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] sometimes as an affectionate nickname but if you never ever call her [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] then what’s the point of making her name [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]?
I am someone who exclusively goes by my nickname. I wish that it was my full name, and almost changed it awhile back.
For my son, we chose a nickname to be used as a full name (example: [name_m]Enzo[/name_m] instead of Lorenzo) because I didn’t want him to dislike his real name the way that I do.
We call him by his first initial sometimes, but that just came about. Wasn’t planned.
I am all for nicknames that are spontaneous, and I think they are helpful and fun to have in sports, but overall, I don’t think I would name a kid one name and plan on always or almost always calling them a nickname. I would skip straight to the nickname.
I love nicknames! But I prefer just giving them as pet names. One of my nicknames is Hazy / Hazie / Hazey, for example, but I never go by that name. I like going by my full name. I’d like to give my children little pet names like that, but I think I’d choose names for them that they could easily go by in life!
I also feel like planning nicknames is odd… if you’re only going to call your kid Lottie, for example, why name her Charlotte at all? That’s how I feel. Nicknames should come naturally. That’s how they stick!
I personally love nicknames, a lot of my favorite names are on my list because I love both the full name and the nickname. On the other hand, i don’t think you should use a full name just to “look more professional” or whatever. If you love the name [name_f]Posy[/name_f] but are worried that it won’t age well so settle for the name [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] which you don’t like, you should just go with [name_f]Posy[/name_f]. I don’t agree with the whole not aging well philosophy.
But I do believe that you can use a full name even if you are planning to exclusively use a nickname. For example my brother has only ever been [name_u]Bobby[/name_u], never [name_u]Robert[/name_u], but he is also the third [name_u]Robert[/name_u] in the family so the nickname is important for clarification on who you’re talking about while maintaining the honor name. I think this also helps to keep older names in more common usage. If you can honor a grandparent by using their more outdated name with a more friendly or common nickname I think that helps to ease some people in to it. So if you’re trying to honor Great Aunt [name_f]Ursula[/name_f] and want to use the nickname [name_f]Lulu[/name_f] for everyday use or whatever I think it works. [name_u]Or[/name_u] for my own example I want to use [name_u]Clifford[/name_u], but don’t like [name_m]Cliff[/name_m] so have decided on [name_u]Kit[/name_u] (long story and it’s stretchy but I like it)
this is kind of rambly so hopefully this makes sense
I love them! But I’m also from a Polish family so diminutives of names are this charming little game of sorts that EVERYONE even your grandfather is part of. Nobody goes by their birth name! I have a fairly common name and used it at school but was never called it at home. I call my children by their Polish nicknames at home (as do my family), but my husband calls them their [name_f]English[/name_f] short form (I.e. [name_u]Alex[/name_u] vs [name_m]Olek[/name_m] for Alexander) and at school and activities I use their full names. They can decide what they want to be called when they are older. But they will have lots of options to suit their personality.
I think with nicknames when it comes to our own kids I think my husband and I have gone to great lengths to pick a name and think of a nickname that we could use (not in a “this is only what they will be called” but in a it’s there if we or others want it). I think for us we both have names that are common so nicknames were common for us to have. Now as an adult my nickname has pretty much ended with most people, although some still use it. But it mostly ended with marriage as i have a BIL who actually goes by my nickname (proof at how common my name and nickname are). [name_f]My[/name_f] husband still goes by his nickname mostly and I think his formal name is mostly for work and such.
So without kids we brainstormed a nickname option. But three kids in I think what naturally happened is kids 1 j 2 the nickname are rarely used (although they do answer to them) BUT with the third it’s used a lot more (I think because my daughter actually came up with it )
I guess in looking at the why have it if you’re not going to use it in regards to the formal name my thinking then kind of goes to why do people give a middle name when it’s rarely used- although when I was a teacher and as a parent now I actually use the first and middle often (I’ve never been a fan of the first and middle combo appearing when only in trouble but rather use the combo as interchangeably with just using their first name or even full name. But that’s just kind of my thought comparison to why having a nickname is ok for me.
I personally love certain nicknames for different names. For example: [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m] (Nate, [name_m]Nathan[/name_m] or Neil) or [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] (Ellie, [name_f]Liz[/name_f], [name_f]Eliza[/name_f], [name_f]Beth[/name_f], [name_f]Betty[/name_f] etc…). When I don’t like nicknames is when you name is [name_u]Avery[/name_u] but everyone calls you [name_f]Emma[/name_f] for no reason other then someone thought you looked like an [name_f]Emma[/name_f].
Ps. I wish I had a nickname that was derived from my own name. But I don’t.
I like them, but I don’t always use them (my son is [name_m]Reuben[/name_m] and gets Roo quite a lot but I use both names equally). He also has a nickname his uncle gave him that all his cousins have as well (he’s called [name_f]Neves[/name_f] as in [name_m]Ruben[/name_m] [name_f]Neves[/name_f], and my other nieces and nephew have funny names as nicknames). I make sure I like all nicknames before I put a name on my list as you can’t be sure they won’t use the one nickname you don’t like!
He wasn’t called Roo, even though his dad and that side of the family usually just call him Roo, because I didn’t want that to be his name. It’s quite obviously a nickname as well which helps people assume it is just a nickname also.
[name_f]My[/name_f] auntie gave my cousins names that she said would never be shortened, she wanted them to go by their full name. They go by nicknames now. I think it’s nice to give full names and let the child decide what they feel fits them best.
I’m not sure. I’m half Icelandic and 1/4 Polish, and both cultures are big on nicknames. So everybody I knew had several nicknames when I was growing up. Nicknames are a normal thing to me.
[name_f]My[/name_f] children also have several nicknames in different parts of our family, and I like that. But on the other hand, I also adore my children’s full names, and I prefer them to go by those. I don’t mind family giving them nicknames, but for everyone else I don’t think it’s necessary.
I think that if you want your child to go by a nickname all the time, for everyone, it’s better to just use the nickname and not give them a full name you’ll never use. The argument that they have more options if you give them a longer full name in case they don’t like the name you’ve chosen doesn’t make much sense to me. Essentially you’re saying that everyone who doesn’t give their child a name with a ton of nickname options is selling their child short
