Nickname Mania!

General Name Discussion
1

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t get me wrong. I love nameberry for myriad reasons.

But this nickname thing is out of control.

I don’t think parents used to fret over nicknames before the child was born. Of course when I was a kid parents didn’t fret over using seatbelts either, so I’m not claiming those were necessarily the good old days.

I am glad parents (at least nameberry parents) are putting thought and passion into their name choices.

I have my own nickname fears, [name_m]Chuck[/name_m] being the worst. So bad that I would not name a son or dog [name_m]Charles[/name_m] or [name_m]Charleston[/name_m], two names I love.

I would nickname my own children, because I nickname everyone. My two unborn children I even think of as Owney ([name_u]Owen[/name_u]) and [name_f]Cora[/name_f] or [name_f]Delia[/name_f] ([name_f]Cordelia[/name_f]) at times.

My dogs and cats always have dozens of nicknames.

But I didn’t plan these nicknames much. They just happened. Owney just happened.

[name_f]Cora[/name_f] and [name_f]Delia[/name_f] I knew I liked. [name_f]Cordy[/name_f] and [name_u]Cory[/name_u], yeck. Had [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] gotten to be born, I would not have [name_u]EVER[/name_u] called her [name_f]Cordy[/name_f] or [name_u]Cory[/name_u], but I would not have had control if others did!

Because parents are not in charge of all the nicknames their child will be called! They are in charge of giving the child his/her legal names and calling them whatever nicknames they like, but that is it!

Sure, they can take neighborhood children aside and sternly admonish them not to call [name_m]Reginald[/name_m] [name_u]Reggie[/name_u]. They can do this with their friends and relatives and teachers too.

But they will get some pretty weird stares if they try this in middle school or beyond. [name_f]Imagine[/name_f] calling up your daughter’s law office and insisting that [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] does not go by [name_u]Sal[/name_u] or [name_f]Sally[/name_f].

Now, if [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] or [name_m]Reginald[/name_m] holds firm on their given names, then that is A-OK, because it is their choice.

But they might not want to! She might like the jaunty quality of [name_f]Sally[/name_f] and he might feel [name_u]Reggie[/name_u] makes him more approachable.

Or maybe others will have nicknamed them Stretch or [name_f]Honey[/name_f] or Lass or Tomahawk. The thing with nicknames is they are small terms of endearment (hopefully) given to us by lovers, chums, roommates, bosses, colleagues, the guy in the next room at the rest home. Sometimes we are given kind of ugly nicknames ([name_u]Les[/name_u] for [name_u]Leslie[/name_u]) but know that when folks call us this they do so in affection and closeness.

We can conceive and bear and name and rear our children with the best intentions, but as far as controlling what name they go by, what nicknames they are given, this falls into the huge part of their life that we cannot control, nor are we meant to.

2

Easy to understand…yet so hard to accept! We would like to think of our kids as ours - ours to shape and mold and direct. Ours to influence. [name_m]How[/name_m] could someone I raise have a substantially different view of certain nn than I do?! Certainly my sense of taste and style will be indelibly stamped upon my children?!

Wow…I’ve suddenly just come face to face with the prospect that raising independent kids doesn’t end with nn…what if he/she wants to be a band nerd or doesn’t like soccer?! Excuse me while I go panic now.

3

…I didn’t offend.

I just think that nicknames are gifts (or curses) which loved ones (or creeps, or the overlap between the two) give us. A way of showing closeness.

I was given a fairly nickname-less name ([name_u]Leslie[/name_u]), not on purpose, just b/c that’s the name my parents liked best.

However, over the years I’ve been nicknamed a bunch: [name_u]Bert[/name_u] or [name_m]Bertram[/name_m] (an honorific from my dad who is a [name_m]Robert[/name_m]), Pretzel Prunethread or Pret (from my brother, for my then skinny arms), [name_u]Leslie[/name_u] Lulubelle (from my mother, though it spread to best friends and their kids and I am now Auntie [name_f]Lulu[/name_f] and Grammie [name_f]Lulu[/name_f] to many). [name_m]Lester[/name_m] for a time, which I didn’t like as a name, but know was given in affection and most often [name_u]Les[/name_u]. [name_u]Les[/name_u] seems to me a super ugly name, but I know it carries love, the same as when I call a friend [name_f]Mare[/name_f] ([name_f]Mary[/name_f]) or Sooz ([name_f]Susan[/name_f]) or Tree ([name_f]Trina[/name_f]).

And mostly, I’m just called [name_u]Leslie[/name_u], though I still struggle to get friends and relatives to say it with a z sound, the way I like it. Which actually bugs me far worse than any nickname I’ve ever been given.

There are just so many anxious posts about: [name_f]Do[/name_f] we need a nickname? Must we have a nickname? Which is the best nickname? When should I start using the nickname? I don’t think parents should have to worry about that. And maybe it’s that I’ve taught for so long, but I see high schoolers change their names in the blink of the proverbial eye.

One teen began my class as [name_f]Paola[/name_f] and two weeks later only answered to Itesel, which I saw was her middle name. Itesel she was. I would have called her that even if it wasn’t listed. When I taught ninth graders, the names really began changing. Names turned into nicknames, nicknames into original names, and a lot of girls began to dot their i’s with hearts (thankfully they - the hearts - have all disappeared by senior year!). :slight_smile:

4

No offense at all! I was being a tad hyperbolic (which doesn’t always translate well in text). In all seriousness, though, it IS hard to accept that after all the time and thought spent choosing a name, a child may later select an appalling nn or otherwise reject what the parent thought was a great gift. And that fear hardly stops with names. You’d expect a child who grows up with two parents who are readers to also love reading, but what if he/she doesn’t? (Sub in any trait/interest for reading).

5

I agree on this one. We can’t choose our kid’s nicknames. but we CAN choose the one we will use (and hope it sticks!).
But I think it’s nice to leave a bit of that to see how it works out over time.

6

That is why [name_f]Evanthe[/name_f] has always been a favourite name of mine. I’ve brainstormed all of the logical and obvious nicknames I can think of for [name_f]Evanthe[/name_f] and I adore them all!

Nicknames like:
[name_f]Eva[/name_f]
[name_f]Eve[/name_f]
Vanthie
[name_f]Thea[/name_f]

7

I guess my big problem with nicknames are how parents seem to be so set on using them – why not have that as their name? Or really going out on a limb to get a certain nickname from a name that sometimes doesn’t relate at all. I don’t understand working so hard to find a name, only because you want to use the nickname you like better. I agree that nicknames should just come naturally. It’s an odd little pet peeve of mine.

8

I think it has to do with personal experience. I have a long name that my mom basically made up. It’s version of my grandmothers name which is a version of [name_f]Lorraine[/name_f]. Nobody knows how to spell it or say it and it’s not easily lent to a nickname. I’ve always wanted a nickname that was easier to say and spell. Finally in high school a few of my friends started calling me [name_f]Lainy[/name_f], unfortunately it only lasted a few years and nobody calls me that now. I work in healthcare and my name is very hard for patients to say. It’s very frustrating at times and honestly quite annoying.

Coming from this experience, I will give my child/children names that have at least one nickname option but hopefully names that have multiple nickname options. I want them to have OPTIONS and I want to use those options frequently. I have a dog named [name_f]Zoey[/name_f] & she has several nicknames, some from her name like Zozo, and some totally random like [name_m]Brown[/name_m] [name_f]Sugar[/name_f]. I call her by all of them. I plan to do the same for my children. If I name a little girl [name_f]Mirabel[/name_f] I will mostly call her [name_f]Mirabel[/name_f] but I would also call her [name_f]Mira[/name_f], [name_f]Mimi[/name_f], [name_f]Belle[/name_f], [name_f]Mabel[/name_f], and if I chose a middle name like [name_u]June[/name_u] I’d even call her M.J. If she chose at any point she would rather not be called [name_f]Mimi[/name_f] or [name_f]Belle[/name_f], I wouldn’t call her that.\

I honestly don’t understand how this can bother somebody. Why does anybody care if I have several nicknames for my child or none at all? It doesn’t bother me at all if you name your child [name_f]Heather[/name_f] and call her [name_f]Heather[/name_f].