@kapaza thank you for your response and reassurance! I agree G-d can be a massive comfort i was raised interfaith (my mum Jewish & father Catholic) I have found myself conducting both Jewish & [name_u]Christian[/name_u] prays looking for guidance at this time just some I dunno peace which has been comforting
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@auroradawn thank you! I have to admit I can do ‘rough handling’ of [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] as well like shove her coat on and sit her down harshly to put her shoes on which I do apologise for but I just (at the moment) find myself apologising constantly it’s a bit of a broken record maybe loosing it’s effectiveness. I like the idea of distraction doing something different I also wish we had a bath tub I live in a small cottage we only have a bathroom with a shower. I like the idea of almost making her follow instructions like a game as that’s something I struggle to get her to which makes your life harder
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@LibelluleClaire oh my goodness this response has filled me with peace thank you so so much I love the shepherd analogy it really takes the heat off. Thank you so much and I agree a break is needed.
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@kachenka firstly thank you for always being their really you’ve been with me since the start of my parenting journey and have always provided thorough detailed support ~ thank you 
your feedback/ideas are super helpful and something I’m going to try to put into practice to make my life better with [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. Thank you
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@Rosebeth thank you for your response! Honestly PMS sucks and I need to remind myself it’s temporary it’s just really thrown me off balance. I feel overwhelmed I think. I like the idea of a safe word that’s great but it’s weird when others are around I never shout at [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] I just find that adult company makes things so much easier it’s when I’m on my own and I feel so tired/overwhelmed. I think creating a space for [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] to go is a good idea but also allowing her to be by herself as right now she never is.
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@elleplume thank you for answering and sharing in relation to your beautifully named daughter! [name_f]My[/name_f] mum has [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] 3 days a week whilst I go to work (I work in adult Social services supporting women who have offended and are dealing with issues such as homelessness, substance misuse, domestic abuse, mental health etc) it’s an intense job so I never really have a ‘break’ when my mum is away I take annual leave and don’t work or alternatively work from home with [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. Right now I’ve been working from home whilst having [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] which has been exhausting. I think I’m crying out for a break really 
@PrincessShannon thank you for responding twins feels so hardcore I appreciate you sharing your parenting experience. Right now my whole support network are abroad as my friends all work so I think that’s what’s made me feel this way really
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I follow a lot of pages on Facebook that help remind me where kids are at and find other ways of saying things: [name_f]Janet[/name_f] Lansbury, Big [name_m]Little[/name_m] Feelings, Dance with me in the heart, gentle parenting groups etc.
I’ve also read some really awesome books - “Unconditional Parenting” by [name_u]Alfie[/name_u] Kohn, “How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk”, “Dance with me in the heart”.
They help.
But I still absolutely yelled so hard at my kids this evening that my not-even-2-yr-old I think felt genuinely scared of me, and ran out the front door and tried to run away. 
I feel so utterly heart-broken that I inflicted that trauma on him.
But I’ve had a sinus infection for over a week, with headache and jaw pain etc, and my 4 yr old is having potty training issues - stubborn as heck and doesn’t want anyone to remind her to go, but gets caught up in play and never remembers to go herself - and Mr 22 months is just a flipping tornado lately. I thought we were over the worst of the baby proofing, hubby even took the baby gate down…
And then suddenly he’s 10 million times worse. He opens the freezer, turns on the oven, pulls powerpoint protectors out to plug the vacuum cleaner in, he helps himself to fruit from the bowl and leaves bits of it everywhere, climbs up on the kitchen table and dances on it, squishes my home-grown tomatoes all over the place, eats the playdough, eats whole jumbo chalks, eats paper, puts counters and tiny erasers in his mouth, tips out boxes of toys everywhere, eats cat biscuits and puts them in the cats water bowl, puts whole rolls of toilet paper in the toilet bowl, pulls all the tissues out the box, tips over the clean laundry baskets to ride on them sideways, takes the tongs out the drawer to pretend to be baby shark biting things, has broken the dishwasher door by opening and climbing on it… so when he broke my pot plant trying to rip leaves off it and then they both stood there and laughed, while I’d been trying to make dinner, I just lost. my. sh*t.
But they were probably laughing due to anxiety. And he’s just a toddler exploring the world. And all he’s heard for weeks is no no no and frustration. And I don’t know if I’ll ever forget his little body running out the front door and around the house after I yelled.
So I dunno. Yes, get help maybe? Try and try to find new ways of doing things? I’d try to find alternatives to time out. Learn about play urges or schemas and realise that kids making a mess and throwing paints is normal and going to happen?
But also, I feel you, I really do. Human babies are HARD. Our current society is hard, and complex. Other animals aren’t trying to deal with potty training and keeping houses clean. And humans are social creatures, I truly believe we were never meant to be doing this alone, or in small nuclear families. We’re meant to have a tribe around us, working as a team. Sorry for commandeering your post largely just to vent myself. I feel so guilty about how awful I’ve been to my own full-on but very sweet kids today. I hope you and [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] are doing a bit better
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@Kiriko sweetheart I’m so sorry to hear about your parenting struggles and I completely agree I believe that you need a village to raise a family it’s just so hard. Parenting is so hard. I’m really happy you’ve been able to use this page to vent I would actually love for this page to be used to vent and for other parents to support each other please feel free too private message me as well. Your kids are resilient you’ve had a bad day read @LibelluleClaire post about being a shepherd it’s so true and really helped me put things into perspective. I realised that my bad week is not going to have a long term effect on my child as long as it’s not a prolonged period of parenting. I’ve also found that when I have been struggling I’ve taken on other berries advice and just taken her out. Taking her out even just going for a drive has helped me immensely. I’ve also voiced what’s happening another berries advise like I’ve said ‘lilia mummy is tired let’s just read a story’ so I know what’s going on with me and also she can have an understanding. I’m not on Facebook but thank you for the parenting book suggestions. Good luck with the potty training I’m dreading it waiting till the summer to tackle that with my two year old good luck with everything!
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[name_m]Hi[/name_m], you got a lot of responses already but I just wanted to reassure you that you’re not alone. I have a 3yo and 4mo, I’m with their daddy but we don’t live together so I am the solo parent 24/7. It is HARD. You have said yourself it is out of character so please don’t be too hard on yourself.
[name_m]Reuben[/name_m] (my 3yo) struggles a lot with his frustrations and big feelings and I find myself snapping a few times but I apologise and that’s OK. He can be testing (as any 3yo is!) but I love the bones of him and if I find it too much I give myself a 2 minute break out of the way. Both kids are safe and I just clear my head and go back and try again. It helps so much. He also goes to nursery 2.5 days a week and I am so thankful for them days because I get a break, time to recharge and I am a better parent because of it.
We’re ultimately all winging it and it’s OK to lose your temper, get frustrated and snappy. We’re all human! [name_f]Hope[/name_f] you’re OK. I am the daughter of a laidback, chilled father and a mother who was definitely the opposite (lived with my mum, divorced parents so she did it solo most of the time) and now I’m a mother myself I know why my mum snapped some days and got overwhelmed. Parenting is damn hard.
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@eireann thank you for your response it’s always lovely to hear from other parents who have experienced similar feelings. It is so hard parenting especially when doing it on your own I think walking away from the situation does help. Having a breather normally I do that it was just during my period it was like aaahhh reaction honestly it was like something took over me very short fuse. I’m now off my period and feeling way better so much calmer. Life has got better but I now realise I need to speak to my GP as I feel that PMS has got a bit much
[name_f]Hope[/name_f] you, Reub3n & Lyl@ are all good
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