I’ve been thinking long and hard about this lately and I guess it depends on the situation but…
Is the name of your ex off limits?
I personally think an ex-fiance or ex-husband/wife probably would be but, what about an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or even someone you just happened to like but never dated?
There are guys I liked/dated as a teenager/early 20s with some amazing names that I love now, but I just don’t know if it’s wrong to even consider them…
I would not name my child after them or honoring them but if it was just a name I loved and well known, sure. If the name is less known, most likely not.
I’d say it all depends how your partner feels. As long as they don’t have a problem with it, it’s not an issue.
A friend of mine told me a story about how when her mother was pregnant with her, her husband suggested the name of one of his significant exes, and she just about scratched his eyes out! It still makes me laugh.
@lovemysweeties Definitely not to honor them!!!
Mine happen to be [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m] (though I’m more likely to use it as a middle name), [name_u]Jesse[/name_u], and [name_u]Bryce[/name_u]…off the top of my head.
@themonarch If your partner didn’t know it was the name of an ex though, would it be inappropriate to not tell them?
I think it depends on the level of the relationship and what your partner thinks about it.
Yes it would absolutely be inappropriate not to tell your partner, lies of omission are still lies and I think lies never end well.
I wouldn’t consider them.
My ex’s name is [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u], and I LOVED the name [name_m]Mack[/name_m] before we met (made my top 3 about a week before he and I met haha), and while I still find it incredibly handsome, I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to use. I know I wouldn’t want my husband naming our baby the same name as his ex. [name_m]Just[/name_m] weird and uncomfortable, I think.
A childhood crush wouldn’t be a big deal, though. I do find that a lot of guys tend to be behind the times for names (in comparison to women) because they’ve held on to liking the names from their childhood and adolescence. It’s just an observation though.
This is very true.
I hadn’t decided on anything and I probably will never use the names…just curious as to what others thought.
I know you weren’t asking me, so I’m not sure if I’m welcome to answer, but I’m going to chime in anyway, haha. I think it’s totally inappropriate. I’d be so upset with my SO if we named a baby his ex’s name and he never told me. It will eventually come up (a HS acquaintance of his we run in to saying “Hey! Wasn’t that your college GF’s name? Too funny! [name_m]How[/name_m]'d you manage that?”), the other party will find out, and it will look like the person with the ex was hiding something (to me, anyway). I think the “hiding something” is the inappropriate part, not necessarily that it was the name of the ex.
I’m really not a jealous person but it would definitely bother me… maybe because I am so passionate about names? Maybe it wouldn’t matter to someone who isn’t quite as obsessive as I am?
@lucialucentum That’s a really good way of looking at it as well! 
[name_m]Just[/name_m] so everyone knows, I wasn’t saying I wouldn’t tell my SO, we’re very open with communication…I was just curious.
The rule for that my husband and I settled on is this: No significant exes names will be considered. If it was a fling, a few dates, or even a few months, it might be fine. If you were ever in love with the person, the name is off-limits.
Oh definitely! (Chuckle)
If you are in a committed relationship of equal partnership, I think you must tell your partner.
A few reasons:
If you don’t, it may always be at the back of your mind, and once your child is born and named, it may feel like it’s too late to reveal the background of the name.
Revealing the background of the name before the child is born means it is much more likely that your partner will believe you when you say that you ‘just like the name’. If your partner found out after the baby was born, I doubt very much that they would believe you that your ex had nothing to do with you liking the name.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] unto others…
They probably will find out the background eventually.
Of course, if your relationship with your partner is more complicated, perhaps this is not the right advice.
There are only two that are absolutely off limits for me. One because it was a very serious relationship that still resonates with me several years later, we have remained very good friends and I imagine any SO would be very uncomfortable with it. And the other because he was an abusive jerk and I would never want that memory associated with my child. Plus his name was awful anyway.
But I don’t think any of the others are off limits. They were mostly high school blips, on-and-off dates or fun flings (although some lasted a while…lol) but none of them were extremely serious. I’d use those names in a heartbeat if I liked them, but I don’t believe I have any of them on my list…and my list is pretty set in stone.
The only one of my exes whose name I love is [name_m]Joseph[/name_m]. But I’d never consider naming my child [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] because we ended on bad terms. I’d HATE for him to think I’d named my child after him. Also, my husband’s uncle is named [name_m]Joseph[/name_m], so the name is really out for us. Too bad, because I still think it’s a gorgeous name.
I think it depends on how your relationship with your ex is (do you still see him, did it end badly, etc) and what your husband thinks. It’s not necessarily off limits, but, reversing the situation, I don’t think I’d be cool with naming my child the same name as my husband’s ex (although the only girl he dated for a long time before me was named [name_u]Lisa[/name_u], so it’s not really a problem ;)).
I think it depends on how serious the relationship with the person was. Like, if they were your serious boyfriend and you guys talked about marriage and stuff, I’d say no. If it was just like some week-long fling with feelings that faded quickly, then I don’t think it matters. Considering that neither me or my boyfriend have any exes, all names are pretty much a go! (Well…not ALL names.)
Funny story, though - when my parents were naming me, they had to go through a big book of baby names to find the name of a girl my dad had never dated. Took a while. 
I guess it would first depend on the relationship you had with that person. But for me, it would be off limits not only because that person is an ex, but I ruled out any name that reminded me of any friend or acquaintance. We all listen for new names we love, and to a certain point there is some connection with our children’s names to something or someone. However, for me, I tried really hard to find names that reminded me of no one so that they would have a totally fresh start with very little to no attachment to anyone. Well, except family… [name_m]Both[/name_m] my children have middle names that honor family so I guess I also contradict myself.
That IS really funny!
My husband has VETO’d all names of any old flames (even high school crushes) so that’s that.
And obviously even if there was no way he would know, even if it was just someone I used to have a crush on, it would be inappropriate not to tell him just to get my way.
Never use an ex’s name regardless of what terms you’re now on. I don’t see the problem with using the name of someone you used to like but never dated. Unless you still feel that way, in which case it’s creepy
I’m in the receiving end of this. High school boyfriend wanted to use both my first and middle for his baby girl. I was horrified. It was only a couple years after too.
No way. I find it strange. Not names of people you crushed on, but anyone you’ve dated? I’d never. One of SO’s sisters is named after someone their dad liked in high school. I admit I even found that a little odd, but it’s acceptable. Actually, she was also named after her dead older sister. 
Their dad really liked the name I guess.
It’s weird. I’ve had a lot of SOs and hardcore crushes(those are off-limits for me too), so my list of no-no names is kind of long
@[name_f]Fey[/name_f] - Gah! Having the same name as your dead older sister sounds positively awful!