Hubby and I (think we have) decided on [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] as a first name.
Middle name is a family name, not very negotiable, (we both love it, it’s my husband’s mother’s name: Arunee (she’s Thai)) BUT now we just realized we may have a H. A. G. on our hands.
Our last name is in my user name, without the J.
So now what? We have been having the hardest time deciding on names. You may remember talking me down from the cliff when we were interested in going with [name_u]Marlowe[/name_u]?
Looks like we went from having a first name/last name rhyming problem to an initial problem! LOL …DAMN this last name!
I did a bunch of forum/advice searching on the web about double middle names. We are totally open to that. However, from what I have read, often the second middle name gets dropped on legal docs, so she would still be a HAG unless we put the less meaninful name first, which means that it will often be ignored.
Looking for thoughts on how important it is to avoid being a HAG, and also advice on what two middle names does for initials. [name_f]Do[/name_f] we have to pull the plug on [name_f]Hazel[/name_f]?
Forgot to mention that my first kiddo, [name_m]Thurston[/name_m] [name_m]Wiley[/name_m] G*** has only one middle name. [name_m]Will[/name_m] he feel cheated if I give this little girl two MN?
I don’t think your son will mind if his sister has 2 middles. I wouldn’t mind if my brother had 2 middles and I didn’t!
I think the HAG initials are pretty important (not as bad as some others, but not overlook-able) , and you should steer clear of it. Is there a way you could change the middle name? Maybe to DH’s mother’s MN?
I prefer [name_u]Marlowe[/name_u] to [name_f]Hazel[/name_f], but I understand the rhyming and why that’s a problem… Tough situation.
[name_m]How[/name_m] about Arunee [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] LN or [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] [name_u]Marlowe[/name_u] LN or Arunee [name_u]Marlowe[/name_u] LN?
Most people are never going to know or notice your daughter’s initials. And I highly doubt that your son will care if his sister has two middle names. I think you’re overthinking it. For what it’s worth, because hazel is a type of tree, [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Gr0w sounds like you’re commanding a hazel tree to grow. It sounds odd to me.
The initials are no big deal at all. [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Grow though sounds cartoonish and will have plenty of reading potential. Have you considered that? I love [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] but this is a bad combination.
I don’t think your daughter’s initials will have that much of an impact. A friend of mine has the initials S.C.A.R. and aside from us calling her “Scar” for the first hour or so after we found out, it was quickly forgotten. And I wouldn’t mind if my brother had two middles and I didn’t at all.
When I was a kid, a lot of kids have their initials everywhere. Since you noticed it before she was born, I would change names either middle or first or adding a second middle.
I have to admit [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] is not my favorite name, but it’s very trendy and in right now. I agree with Southern [name_f]Maple[/name_f] on how it sounds with your last name.
I think it’s all fixable. Good [name_m]Luck[/name_m]!
I disagree with the people saying [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] is too awkward with Grow. Grow is going to sound like a verb next to any name, even the most innocuous traditional one: “[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], grow!” Its your last name, and you know whether or not it bothers you. Honestly, I think a tree name might be a way to put a more poetic spin on what might be a difficult last name normally.
I think a second middle name is a perfectly viable solution if the initials bother you…even though your son only has one…but I don’t think you necessarily need a solution if the initials don’t bother you.
If you can’t find a second middle name that you like and the initials are driving you crazy, maybe consider Arunee [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] instead of [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Arunee?
I was going to suggest what a pp did.
I would just switch the fn and mn and call her by her mn.
Arunee [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] G*** would be the ultimate way to honor your mil and also gives a very reasonable explanation why you call her [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] to help avoid confusion.
I personally usually advise against giving a different number of mn to kids unless you can make the letters match up as closely as possible. But you’ve already done that.
I think either don’t worry about it too much and just have her write out HG as her initials (most monograming put the ln in the middle anyway so she would be HGA) or just flip the two names and call her by her middle name. I know quite a few people who go by their mn’s (mostly jr or named after a grandparent who is still alive) and it’s really no big deal.
I agree with the last poster- switch the first and middle name, and call her by her middle name. That is fairly common - you’ll just have to make sure it is marked on school records, or she will get to class every year and have “Arunee” on her cubby, desk, and all other classroom supplies already. Otherwise, I think there is no reason why you shouldn’t switch the first two names. It is quite honoring to the person you are naming her after, and you can just explain why you are going to call her by the middle name. Or… don’t worry about the inititals. Those are rarely discussed.
I don’t think HAG is an issue. People don’t go up and ask a person what there initials are at all. And kids in school wont know either. I think PMS, ASS, PIS is way worse. But I also don’t think your son will feel cheated if your little girl/l his little sister has two middles. Who knows if you have another child and its a little girl you can keep the two middle name trend among the girls.
Honestly, I don"t think people would care about what her initials spell because so few people even knows other people’s middles names these days. Honestly, the only tike you here a person’s full name is at grduation and wedding ceremonies. Though if you’re really worried about it you can just add another name.
My mother decided to switch my first and middle names around at the last minute because she didn’t like what my initials would’ve spelt, and to call me exclusively by my middle name, and honestly its been nothing but trouble. In an age where proving ones identity is so important, its a nightmare explaining that your first name is one thing but you go by another-people just look at me like i’m trying to be awkward. So if you’re going to call her [name_f]Hazel[/name_f], make [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] her first name- its a lovely name and a lot less hassel in the long run. She could even just be H.G. when she uses her initials. But i do agree that [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Grow sounds very horticultural.
I would not put Arunee in the first spot or the middle without something after it because Arunee Grow sounds a lot like its saying “negro”. What about
[name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Arunee [name_f]Delilah[/name_f] Grow
[name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Arunee [name_f]Fae[/name_f] Grow
[name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Arunee [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] Grow
[name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Arunee [name_u]Winter[/name_u] Grow
I don’t think HAG is a big deal, personally. My grandmother’s initials were BAD before she got married, and it never seems to have matter. Also, I went to school with a BS and a BJ. No one ever cared.
That being said, I see no problem with using two middles if it makes you feel better. I have two middle names, and yes the second is often dropped, but I enjoy knowing it is there as it is an important family name. [name_m]Both[/name_m] of my middles are on my diploma and my school records and such, but my driver’s license, loan forms and things of that matter only have my first middle initial. However, my military ID has both middles on it. My brother also has two middle names, but if he did and I didn’t, I don’t think I would mind. My best friend from childhood has two sisters and a brother; she and her older sister have one middle name while the younger two have two middle names. It has never mattered.
I would use two middles. You love [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] so don’t ditch her because of unfortunate initials and just put another beloved choice in the middle slot. Why don’t you use both his mother’s name and yours as a potential combination?
So it could be for example [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] Arunee H…? That would work well! Concerning your son not having another middle name I don’t think he would feel cheated. I’m just [name_f]Victoria[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f] but my brother is [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Leonardo[/name_m] [name_m]John[/name_m].
Ok, here’s my experience and opinion for what it’s worth. My parents gave me four names. I’ve got to say, it was hard growing up (yes forms and all) but became very complicated when I got married. It was important to my husband that I share his name. My names were all family names and important to me so I ended up adding my married name on the end and now I have five total names (that’s three middles). I’m glad I have all of them because each name is significant but I gotta say, it’s a total pain. The DMV has no idea what to do with me! But all 5 are on my ss and on my bank statement, etc (they randomly chop parts of my name off or just use initial on my credit cards - I have to explain every time someone looks at my “name” on the credit card and then at my also altered name, but differently, on my drivers license). I see the posts about two middles all the time and think there are going to be different opinions in another 30 years when all these girls grow up and are naming kids of their own.
So, as a person given four names at birth, I would advise either switching first and middle or seeing if there is another name you could use to honor your mother-in-law (her middle? Or her mother’s maiden name?). I’ve also got to say with a verb last name, a noun first name doesn’t usually work. [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] Grow isn’t too bad but all things considered, it isn’t the best in my opinion. We had to give up the name [name_u]Finn[/name_u] (which we both loved) because it rhymed and sounded bad with our last name. I do like the name [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] though. But I’m worried that it’s going to be extremely popular (but I’m biased against names that I think are going to be too popular). On social security, it was #893 in 2000 and was last at #175 in 2012. Yes, names become popular over time but this one is shooting up the list. I bet it’s in the top 50 within 2 years. And yes, I used initials in my job (all of us do on certain assignments) plus I like to monogram things. Personally, I wouldn’t want my initials to be HAG.
Sorry, if this is a little harsh. I’m putting myself in this situation and I would want someone to give me their straight opinion…as many of my friends have done to me in the past! Best wishes!
I disagree that initials are no big deal. Some of my favorite gifts over the years were those that were monogrammed with my initials. Granted, she could just use HG and leave out the A, but I still think it’s important.
I doubt your son would care that his sister has two middle names. I would definitely NOT leave it as H.A.G. I’d either change the first name or add another middle.
