I’m currently expecting my second baby, a little brother or sister to our 2 year old son Bugsy. I was talking to my mum the other day and she asked if we were going to take Bugsy’s opinion into consideration when naming the next one so he felt more included.
I though this was quite odd considering he’s only 2 but a few other mums I’ve spoken to have said that they let their 2 and 3 year olds help with name picking. I was think maybe we could show him our list (when we make one) and see which name he likes best??? What do you think? Good or Bad idea?
So, I guess I just want to know what your experience was…did you let your older child/children have a say or not? [name]How[/name] far did you go?
I think the idea of asking him his favorite of your list is a good idea. I wouldn’t just ask him what name he would pick b/c it would probably be something you don’t want to use and the whole point is to make him feel included, not hurt his feelings.
Haha, I have no children of my own to ask, but I do remember when my youngest sister was going to be born (I was five), and my parents asked what we thought the baby’s name should be. I suggested Buttons (I think I meant it seriously, though I have a vague recollection of being afraid that she would get a name I thought would be prettier than mine… Maybe it was sabotage?).
I don’t know: I don’t really know how important it is to make him feel involved in the name selection. He is only two; being involved with the baby can take the form of painting a welcome home banner or picking out something for the baby to wear when he/she comes home or learning songs to sing to the new baby. If he hasn’t shown a lot of interest in what the baby’s name will be, I’m not sure that I would bring it up. But if you’re curious to know his favorite, it could be fun to ask. I agree with the pp about being careful how you word it so that you don’t give him the impression of choosing the name himself and then go in a different direction. (My parents didn’t go with Buttons, Prayer, or any of the other suggestions we girls gave…sigh.)
I have stepchildren who are currently helping with our naming process! We definitely had a list made up after [name]Ruby[/name], who’s only 4, suggested [name]Candy[/name] [name]Angel[/name] [name]Flower[/name]. It’s important for me and my husband to be involved in the naming process so they can be as excited about their little brother or sister like we are!
I would let an older child have the pick over the final couple choices, if my husband and I loved them all equally and it didn’t matter which one we picked. I think the older child gets to feel involved and special in that process.
I would never come right out and say to a 3 or 4 year old, “Hey, what should we name the baby?” because it will be something like, “Toast!” and then, depending on their memory and sensitivity, they may be upset that you asked and then didn’t take them seriously. I’m part of the, “If you want to hear opinions, then ask. If you don’t actually want to know/ get the suggestions, then don’t ask” camp.
This all being said, I was almost 6 when my youngest brother was born (my other brother is a year and a half younger than me), and when my parents called us from the hospital saying that we had a new baby brother named [name]Craig[/name], we (my other brother and I) were up in arms and hounded our parents that his name was supposed to be [name]Brett[/name] and that we didn’t like [name]Craig[/name] (we knew that [name]Brett[/name] was a strong contender). Turns out my dad didn’t like [name]Craig[/name] anyway, so they changed their decision after 5 minutes on the phone with us, but still. We weren’t given the place to have an opinion… but somehow we still had a voice in it.
I think it’s a great idea personally. I actually named my baby brother when I was 3. I said to my mother that there was a teddy bear in her belly. She searched the name [name]Teddy[/name], and from that they got [name]Theodore[/name] and then finally [name]Theo[/name]. My brothers name is plain [name]Theo[/name] and we love it to this day. Think it’s a great idea to get kids’ input without directly saying what do you want mommy to name your brother or sister.
That’s a great idea! A couple of my kids had their names picked out by their siblings and I don’t regret it at all. However, if you were going to allow your son to help then I’d be very careful how you do it. [name]Don[/name]'t give him the impression that he’s going to have the final say - when my 6-year-old twins were about to be born I asked my then-2-year-old son [name]Jude[/name] what he thought they should be named. Let’s just say that the babies didn’t end up being called either Cheese and Onion or [name]Bill[/name] and [name]Ben[/name]. He was very upset about that!
My newest baby [name]Liev[/name] was actually named by his 3-year-old brother [name]Roman[/name]. He wanted to name him after a superhero and we were watching X-Men Origins when he suggested Sabretooth! Instead of Sabretooth I looked up the actor’s name and it was [name]Liev[/name] Schreiber, which ended up being our first name choice. So I guess to answer your question, it’s a good idea to give them some say - especially with your second, because your first might not be so keen on the idea of a new sibling. However I think it would be best to draw up some lists to pick from or give him some idea of the names you think are acceptable, or you could end up with a baby named Sabretooth!
I was 2 when my mom was pregnant with my brother and my parents let me “help”. They basically only asked me if I liked names they already liked. To make it seem like I was involved and included but not letting it be my decision. I think that’s a good idea.
My friend was allowed to choose her sisters name from a choice of two because her parents couldn’t decide between them.
Personally I couldn’t even do that. I might discuss possible names with any child I had but at the end of the day the decision would be mine and my husbands. I wouldn’t want to wake up one day regretting it and wishing I’d gone with another name. I wouldn’t want to subconsciously blame my first child for my mistake.
I found myself pondering this question again today and I came up with this idea. If we did let Bugsy have a say, I wouldn’t want to upset him or make him feel bad towards the baby, so in light of that, I don’t think we will give him a say in bubsies name, particularly because we don’t know what we are having… However Bugsy has always had a teddy bear that he takes everywhere, so just before the baby comes we are going to take Bugsy out for the day and buy the new baby a teddy, Bugsy can have free reign on which he wants to buy and what he wants it’s name to be… I think that giving him this big responsibility we ease him into being a big brother and help him with sharing the attention. Bugsy has been the center of attention, so the transition will be interesting!
[name]Do[/name] you think my idea will work? It seems perfect in my head!
My top tip is get Bugsy to say some of the names you like, I make it a game with my toddler ‘can you say…[name]Felicity[/name]?..[name]Alison[/name]?..[name]Abraham[/name]’. If one of your list completely stumps them, their pronunciation sounds rude or like they are saying a different name that might be something to bear in mind.
PS My friend was named [name]Holly[/name] by an older sibling after her favourite doll and it really suits her.
We did not ask our eldest for name ideas when we were having our second, but we did do what Norbury suggests and asked him to pronounce some names.
We won’t be asking them with the next one either. When we have for fun they’ve come up with Bumble [name]Bee[/name], Optimus Prime, [name]Fire[/name] Slasher, Samurai [name]Forever[/name] and [name]Power[/name] Rangers!
In my last pregnancy, my 5 year old had his heart set on [name]Nicholas[/name] nicknamed [name]Nikki[/name] for a boy. While [name]Nicholas[/name] had been on my list early on during the pregnancy and it’s a great name, I didn’t let my son have any influence. I told him he could name his own little boy [name]Nicholas[/name] some day. My oldest son who was 9 did manage to ruin a few names for me. He absolutely died at the suggestion of [name]Gabriel[/name] insisting it was a girl’s name. It was hard to get too excited about [name]Gabriel[/name] after such a reaction.
My mom asked my 7 1/2 y.o. son what we should name this one. He said [name]Savannah[/name] for a girl. She told him but that’s not a Greek name and you need a Greek name so he said “Well how about [name]Savannah[/name] [name]Georgia[/name]?”. So no, he doesn’t get an opinion.
Actually he did give my 2 year old the name of [name]Daisy[/name] when I was pregnant with her, before we even knew it was a girl. She was born in [name]April[/name] and daisy is the flower for that month so I loved it as a nickname but not long after she was born he even stopped using the name [name]Daisy[/name] and started using her real name. I miss it and still use daisies so stationary, name tags, etc.
My son turned two in [name]December[/name], and we haven’t included him in the naming process. When we’ve narrowed our list down we might ask what he thinks of a certain name or something like that though. And it might be a good idea to ask the sibling-to-be about some names to make sure that they can pronounce the name OK…
We wrote down a list of first names and middle name and let both our boys choose one first name they liked best and one middle name to go with it. [name]Both[/name] boys chose [name]Thomas[/name] for a first name so that was for defiantly going to be his first name. For a middle name [name]Caleb[/name] chose [name]Oliver[/name] and [name]Noah[/name] chose [name]Benjamin[/name] but then we discussed as a family and said out loud [name]Thomas[/name] with all the middle names and we each gave every middle name a score out of five and [name]Connor[/name] was the winner so we named our little boy [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Connor[/name]. I don’t think I would have been able to chose a name if the twins didn’t help because I would have changed my mind but the boys were set with [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Connor[/name]. So that’s the name that we used and I’m glad we did.
[name]Arlo[/name] is only 2 so he can’t contribute effectively but we did ask him and he said Igglepiggle but I think we’ll pass on that one!
If we have any more when they’re older I will ask them but I wouldn’t change the whole name depending on what they say but would take their ideas into consideration. I might let them choose the middle name when they’re old enough to know some real names!
My cousin had some ideas for her daughter’s name, but her three sons formed a coalition and stated they would ONLY call their sister [name]Katie[/name], and that was that. The parents were actually ok with the name [name]Katie[/name] and it fit with the siblings’ names, so [name]Caitlin[/name]/ [name]Katie[/name] she became. these boys were led by the oldest who was maybe ten at the time. I think young kids (5 and under) can be given other decisions like the teddy bear or picking out outfits or other things for the baby.
