Olivia vs. Kate (second guessing our choice...)

Please help, berries! I am having a bit of name regret and I am wondering what you would do in this situation.

We named DD2 [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and call her [name_f]Kate[/name_f]. I always sort of liked the flow of [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] more but DH and I agreed that we love the nickname [name_f]Kate[/name_f] and I also was very bothered by the popularity of [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] so it seemed like the right thing to use it in the middle.

I do think [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is a beautiful classic name. But now, after 3 months, I’ve been looking at baby and I can’t help but think: she is an [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] [name_f]Kate[/name_f]!! A name combo we hadn’t seriously considered. Pretty sure DH thinks I am nuts for even metntioning it.

It doesn’t help that her initials are COM which kind of bugs me. Also, DD1 is named [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] which seems well balanced with [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] [name_f]Kate[/name_f].

So, what do you think? What would you do? Call her by her middle name? Call her the nickname I probably would have called her (Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f])? Please tell me I didn’t screw this up! Sigh lol.

If you’ve been regretting it for a long time then it’s worth changing if you and your partner agree. I think [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is a beautiful name - there’s a reason it’s popular!! Or you could call her by her middle name, there are plenty of people who go by their middle name and it works fine.

I say give it more time before deciding. Call her with both names. You can’t go wrong with either [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] [name_f]Kate[/name_f]. If, say, after several more months this still bothers you, talk to your husband and change it.

First, remember that you have given your daughter the right names. The names that you feel suit her are legitimately part of her name right now, so you didn’t mess up. Lots of people go by their middle names. I think you should feel free to call her by any versions of her name you enjoy, including Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f], as often as you want. See what sticks. At that point, you can decide whether it is worth it to make an official change, but either way she can still be Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f] to you.

My grandma and my husband’s father both go by their middle names despite legally being different. I don’t really know what the process is to change a name legally, but it might be easier if you simply call her by her middle name, then as she gets older she can make the decision for herself about what she prefers to be called.

The only name I’d change it to is [name_f]Kate[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] which isn’t too different. You already call her [name_f]Kate[/name_f] and [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is in her name too. Everyone already sees her as a [name_f]Kate[/name_f] and I think that’s her name!

Thanks - this helped me feel better :slightly_smiling_face: I am confident we chose the right names as you pointed out. I think I will just feel out using the different variations of her name and see how I feel about it when she is a little bigger.

It’s just so hard when you love so many names, lol!

I love her name, [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], ‘[name_f]Kate[/name_f]’. It’s my personal preference of all your options, but that’s not the point if you feel it’s not quite right for her (and you).

I agree with pps who said give it more time, and try out the different options. I don’t think it’s a big deal if in a few months time you decide to change. She will still be [name_f]Kate[/name_f], or Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f] if you make [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] the middle.

Thanks for this ” I think part of the struggle is that [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] doesn’t seem to suit a baby but part of the reason we chose it was because of the versatility and strength that it carries over time. So hopefully that will be the case.

I think if we had chosen [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] [name_f]Catherine[/name_f], as we nearly did, I would feel like I was missing out on the name [name_f]Kate[/name_f] because who shortens middle names?

So perhaps, as you and others suggest, I should go ahead and call her whatever I want - [name_f]Kate[/name_f], [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f] - since those are all a part of her name in some way or another. :smiling_face:

I agree with the last few people–I think you should give it more time, but either way, [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], [name_f]Catherine[/name_f], and [name_f]Kate[/name_f] are all part of her legal name, and any nickname or combination you might derive from that is totally reasonable to use and relevant to her name.

Personally, I’d rather be [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] “[name_f]Kate[/name_f]” [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] than [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] [name_f]Kate[/name_f], because of the strength and versatility you described (for what it’s worth, I have a similar strong classic name with a short nickname and I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] the options I have with it and how elegant the full thing looks on official documents, but your daughter might not be a name nerd like me).

Also, I went through something similar with my daughter the first few months after her birth, and still get twinges of it occasionally still, a year later. I really loved a relatively popular name, but when I realized how common it was, it was taken out of the running. It probably would have sounded better with the middle name (a family name) and it’s the only other name I can actually envision calling my daughter, but in the end, I truly adore my daughter’s actual name and it fits her so well. Plus, the more popular name actually shares a lot of sounds with her real name, which is probably the only reason I can imagine calling her that. I’m sure you know this, but the first six to twelve months after birth are crazy, and sometimes stress and hormones can affect your mental health and make you worry unnecessarily about things you wouldn’t otherwise even consider. I say let your daughter’s name be, call her whatever nickname you love, whether it’s [name_f]Kate[/name_f] or [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] or Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f], and let her decide what she wants to be when she’s older.

I also think you should give it more time before making the decision to change your daughter’s name. I, personally, love the names of sisters [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] and [name_f]Kate[/name_f] together. I feel [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] is a timeless name that is very versatile. I am not a fan of using [name_f]Kate[/name_f] instead of [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] as a middle name. I wouldn’t worry about her initials; they don’t spell anything objectionable. And, use her monogram instead c[name_u]Mo[/name_u].

I actually named my daughter [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] 35 years ago when the names [name_f]Kate[/name_f] and [name_f]Katie[/name_f] were so popular. I decided to keep her name [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] to be different and I never regretted it. She also loves her name.

I like [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] and [name_f]Kate[/name_f] together too. [name_f]Kate[/name_f] to me is a fairly grown-up nickname, so it could be that she just has to grow into it. I think [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] nn Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f] for now is a good idea, and then as she grows into [name_f]Kate[/name_f] you can drop the Livi if it fits.

Nicknames can be anything you want, so call her whatever fits at the moment. She has a lovely name and the option of using the middle if she prefers it.
I recently asked about changing my name. It costs $200 where I live.

For now I’d just keep her legal name as-is (but you can call her [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] if you like). When she gets older if she’d prefer [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] as her first name then you can let her officially change it.

The beauty of middle names is that they give you options! I agree with previous posters that you clearly didn’t make a mistake because you still love the names you gave her, you’re just not sure of the order. I’d give it some more time, call her [name_f]Catherine[/name_f], call her [name_f]Kate[/name_f], call her [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], or Livi or whatever nickname/combination comes naturally. There is plenty of time to change her name in a few months if you decide to go that route (and I doubt anyone would bat an eye at that since her names wouldn’t actually really be changing, just rearranging), or you might decide that she’s a [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] LastName who goes by [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]/Livi [name_f]Kate[/name_f] most of the time, which would be perfectly fine too.

I’m assuming baby is three months then? During this early time typically mothers get anxious about everything… We just want to meet this inaccessible perfection. BUT if you decided her name and loved it… I would wait it out… Stick with the nn and see that [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] & [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] are both classic 2 syllable names, they go together charmingly and I actually know other sisters with these names and it’s lovely. With [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] [name_f]Kate[/name_f] you do get the single syllable middle like your older daughter has but the first names become more different. You CAN always call her Livi if you prefer and do not have to change her name, it’s all her name and can be used as you like, kate, katie, liv, livi, com is cute and you know it’s good luck for initials to spell a word no matter the word! I think it’s always a bit of getting comfortable with with a new name but remember you did choose it for a reason. If you think you need to change it I would wait a few more months and see if that changes but in the meantime it’s the same names either way and it’s just the layout you’re concerned with. It’ll be ok, try not to over think it at this point. Honestly if you change it it’ll mostly be explaining the change to everyone vs just saying oh we call her Livi or [name_f]Kate[/name_f]… Both are great either way!

OP here :slight_smile:

Even though we agreed on [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and I still feel it is a stunning name, when I look at her I keep thinking she is Olivia Kate. I just don’t feel like this feeling is going to go away but I still don’t know if it is worth the trouble and having to explain ourselves vs. just saying “we call her _____.”