One or more? How many kids do you want to have? :)

60,000 a year! Okay I admit, I will pay for my kid to college, but if they want to go to one that is more than $20,000 a year, they are on their own! I wouldn’t pay for my kid to go to school if they got horrible grades, but that won’t happen, I plan on raising them right, like my parents did. Btw I actually majored in Chinese :slight_smile: I’m not fluent… but I am proficient. I also graduated in 3 years. I worked my butt on if high school.

I also don’t want my kids to have to have a job at 14, they should get to be a kid! I got my first job when I was 16/17. My fiance’ didn’t work at all until he got to college.

Also for the 4 kids thing, it depends how far apart they are in age too. My fiance’ is 8 years apart from his oldest sister and 2 years from his youngest. The thing with being the youngest and only boy, is that the girls have already formed a pack. They often left him out. They are close now that they are older, but he really doesn’t know much about them. I constantly ask him what I should get them or what they would like for birthdays/christmas and he always says, I don’t know. Maybe it’s a boy thing… but I think it’s just because they don’t talk to him as much since he’s the only boy.,

Hehehe, yeahh, so sad how expensive college is now adays!! I will definitely do my best to pay for as much schooling as I can for my child. But one can only pay so much :wink: I am hoping my future child(ren) do well in school. I will be the parent thats strict on doing homework and trying your hardest, but being the kid that had to really try just to get an okay grade, I know how stressful it is to not have amazing grades after so much effort. I think foreign languages and music were the only classes that came easy for me. I struggled throughout highschool - though it was worth the grade. I hope my child is smarter than me! But thats so neat that you majored in Chinese! [name]How[/name] coincidental? :slight_smile: I didn’t think it was that popular <3 My dream was to become a translator, but it doesn’t seem my life is going in that direction anymore. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I am happy how things are. I worked my butt off in high school too, I actually homeschooled senior year so I could take classes at a local college to get some courses in [duel enrollment program]. Though my chinese classes weren’t technically duel enrollment.

I almost regret having had to work so young, but you got to do what you got to do I suppose. If I wanted a good meal or clothing that fit well, then I had to earn cash. I actually started babysitting regularly when I was 11 to buy myself necessities. As I’ve mentioned, me and my parents haven’t had a good relationship since I was very little. Working to buy myself things I need became normal to me I guess <3

I think all sibling sets are different. Because I know some children that get along amazingly because of their age differences, but others that it causes problems with. Its hard to predict how children will react to each other. Like, I know my little sister is super close to my older brother, and they have a seven year difference. All three of my siblings are very close to each other… just not me. I was just always the different child :slight_smile: My mom always assumed in having two boys and two girls it’d leave us each someone to play with. But it just so happened I turned out very different, and neither of us had any desire to play with one another. Even me and my older brother, who are exactly 18 months apart! He’d rather hang out with our little brother, who’s four years younger than him, or with our little sister. Now I don’t expect a lot of families are like mine. I guess ours just went wonky with me being the odd child. But it just goes to show that you never know how your children will react to your teachings :wink: My parents raised me strictly in a christian home, and I am not sure I even believe in god! Thats a whole other discussion in its own though. Hopefully if I have more than one child they will get along despite their differences, but I’ll have to wait and see!

Honestly, I’ve been so interested in adoption lately!! I was very interested when I was a teenager, I did all the research and made some plans. But I was so young… and I guess I put it aside as life got busy. Once the thought was brought up again though, its just not gone away! I’m not quite sure exactly where I’d want to adopt from- whether it be within the US states or out of country. I’m still young and have plenty of time, so we’ll see! I’ll have to talk to my BF about it <3

Okay, I’m 14 so this probably doesn’t make much of a contribution, but I’ll post anyway. I never wanted kids, then I wanted 1 and now 3. I know it wouldn’t necessarily work out, but I love the idea of a boy with twin little sisters. If I have a girl, I’d want a boy to protect them and look out for them. And a girl always needs a best friend, hence the twin girls. I have 2 friends who are twins with an older brother and I know that they tend not to get along with each other or their brother, but in the long run, it’s more or less how I’d want it to happen. Okay, done with the head-in-clouds post. Good luck! :slight_smile:

I’d like two or three kids, I think. I grew up in a family of three sisters, me being the eldest, and I’d love my kids to have siblings. We’re kind of close, not exceptionally but we do get along. I’m not sure exactly what combination I would like, I think one of each if I have two and maybe a girl if I have a third, because I find girls easier to name. I don’t know how many my boyfriend wants, but when we’ve talked kids we’ve talked more than one and he hasn’t objected, so I think he wants multiple too. I just don’t know if I could take having too many, though, from the pregnancy stories I’ve heard from other people. Though twins run in both our families (his mum’s a twin, my dad has twin siblings) so it’s easily possible I could have multiples in one birth anyway. I think twins would be tough but rewarding; one baby at a time seems a big enough challenge at the moment.

I definitely want an even number, but two or four at the most. Probably two, though. With odd numbers, someone is always left out, and if I had more than two, I’d feel scared that I’d end up neglecting the more independent child/children.

I honestly only want to have one child, and that would be a daughter. I have just started to come to this lately, because I used to want to have 3, 4, 5 kids. Ideally, I don’t want to get married. Of course, I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I truly don’t want to get married. I want to be able to do what I love, and not feel tied down. So I just want to have one daughter, because I can imagine not being married, but I cannot imagine my life in the future without a child. I want to have the great relationship with my daughter that I have with my mom, and also be able to do my dream job. I know that it seems a little contradictory, to not want to feel tied down by marriage but to want a baby, but that is really how I imagine my life in the future.

I would like to have at least four, probably 6. I would like to have at least four biological children, and then adopt at least two children. My friends tell me I will always stay single because all of the guys will be scared to marry me if I want that many children:) I just smile!

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DH and I both want a big family. My minimum is 5, if we are blessed to have any at all. I like the sound of 7 or 8 as well. I just wish I had had an earlier start. I feel like I should have had at least two by now. I can’t put my finger exactly on why I want a big family, I just know I do want one.

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Two preferably, like a boy and a girl, 3 [name]MAX[/name] if we could honestly handle it. I’ve never wanted a big family, it’s just not my thing. Me and a lot of my friends have only 1 sibling and I like the dynamic of it. Plus, in [name]Canada[/name] where I am, living is very very very expensive and I am realistic as far as housing, jobs, university, etc. goes. The average price for your nice family home is over $500,000 here and I do want to be able to afford to get my kids what they want, which is something my own parents have struggled to do. Plus college of course, I really don’t want my children to have the debts that I will.

I agree. I’ve grown up with just one brother, and I couldn’t imagine life without him. Yes, we’ve had our fair share of arguments, but we’re also really good friends. I think I’ll end up with just two, because I don’t like the idea of odd one out, and any more beyond that is just too much for me to realistically handle. Also, I’d love to be able to provide for my children, and even indulge them every so often, and I think I’d just feel stretched thin otherwise.

However, my main goal is to raise healthy, happy, respectful children.

Actually I was pretty certain just a few years ago that I would never have children. And if I were to have children I didn’t want them anytime soon. Then I got pregnant and I was freaking out the whole pregnancy :smiley:
Now I have a fantastic son and I can’t picture a life without him. I’m planning number two now, and I will probably end up with a total of three children since my boyfriend wants two of his own (he’s not the father of my son).

I’ve been bouncing around on this. I’m still young, so I have time to think about it, but it tends to weigh on my mind a lot. Last summer, I was intent on having five or six children, and not having a career (or just being a writer and doing whatever.) But in the past couple of months, I’ve been thinking about how I want to go to college, and maybe be a doctor, and how having five or six kids might not fit into that. I know that things aren’t so black and white, but it’s a factor for me. I think it ultimately depends on how I feel when I graduate high school and go through college. Who knows, I might end up with five kids and an M.d!

  • [name]Athena[/name]

Yes, it is harder for only children to grasp sharing. Toys and their parents.

I’d ideally like to have 3, but with the trouble we’re having just trying to get #2, I’m not sure we’ll go past 2.

3 has been my magic # for a looooonnnnggggg time. But, when my DH and I first got together and were starting to be serious, he said he dreamed of a family with 5 kids & a dog. (I told him at the time that we should start with 1 and see what happens.) But, TTC took longer than expected and now I’m 36 and pregnant with baby #1, so I’m not sure if there’s time (or energy) left for 5 kids… hopefully there still is for 3.

We already have the dog. :slight_smile:

I was never one of those little girls who dreamt of getting married and becoming a mom. It’s only over the last few years that I’ve really reconsidered my position and come to realize that it is something I would love to do. Coming from a small family, I’ve thought about having six children but I think, in actuality, I could probably only handle two or four (note the lack of odd numbers - blame it on my OCD). Although, I’m already 27 and not even in a relationship, so I’m not sure my dreams of becoming a mom will ever become a reality. I guess stranger things have happened…

I dreamed of becoming a mother since I was about nine years old. It was a very important life goal. The number of children I’ve wanted has fluctuated. At first, I just knew that I wanted at least two - ideally a boy and girl. Then, as a teenager, I decided that 4 would be the perfect number. As a young adult, I went back to thinking I’d be happy with two. When I got married, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my husband wanted three children (God willing), and I agreed to try for three.

After our first child (son) was born, I was so happy and delighted with motherhood that I couldn’t wait to have another baby. Then about a year later, when we were expecting #2 (another son), I was thrilled but worried how I would divide myself between two children without compromising my care of one or the other. All of those concerns worked themselves out just fine. About a year later, we started trying for baby #3, and we were blessed with a daughter! After that, my husband would half-jokingly talk about having one more. At the time, I felt like my time and energy would be spread way too thinly if we had another baby, so I always rebuffed the idea.

Now, it’s probably too late for us to have more children, and I find myself regretting not having a fourth. Nonetheless, I do think I made a wise and realistic choice to stop at three, and I am focusing on how grateful I am to have my three beautiful children.

At this point I’d like to have 4 children. Have 2 so far that are close in age. I’d like to have 2 more that are close.

This is so interesting. After my son came, I felt I would be happy if he was our only one. I enjoyed devoting all my attention to him. But I knew DH wanted more and I kind of did too. So we had our DD in [name]Jan[/name]. and I can’t imagine life without her already! I get really intense tho not long-lived baby blues (lasts about two mos, and for me that’s a long time to feel so intensely emotional and have to care for a newborn and other children!) with my children, so that is one deterrent from having more. My other deterrent is probably really shallow, but it’s the whole body-changing during pregnancy thing! I lost the weight pretty easily with #1 but it’s taking forever with #2, and I’m desperately hoping I will lose it all I the next few mos. I just don’t know if I can do this again! Plus I’m gonna be 32 soon, and ideally if I were to have another, I’d like to wait till DD is 4, and so I’d be 35. I know chances to get pg go down around then, and complications go up. The thing is tho that I know DH wants to have another even tho we haven’t really talked about it yet. I really feel torn thinking about it, even tho I know I don’t have to decide now.

I’m bringing back this old thread since I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately. And I’m curious to hear how other nameberries feel.

My SO and I talked about this the other night and we think that we might have just one child. [name_m]Just[/name_m] gonna air out some of my thoughts:

    • The primary reason is finances - currently we can only afford one daycare tuition at a time. We also want to provide her with a certain lifestyle (not extravagant or anything, but comfortable, and not wanting for anything).
    • Daycare has been amazing for her - she is happy, bright and thriving. She loooves playing with other kids. I’m hoping she gets most of her socializing energy out there, as I am an introverted homebody.
    • I’m sad that she could miss out by not having a sister or brother. But I also have a feeling that being an only child could have other benefits, like making her more independent and confident (as stated by previous posters).
    • I’m not sure we would have another even if we could afford to. We don’t have family near us, so we have to do everything on our own. It’s doable with one child but I don’t know how we would manage two. We are often tired and date nights are rare as it is!
    • I do like the idea of having this [name_m]Gilmore[/name_m] Girls type relationship with her – best friends!
    • While I’m exhausted at the mere thought of being pregnant again, there is a part of me that wants to have another sweet baby. I love my little girl so much and loved her first year. I’m sure [name_f]Bea[/name_f] would love a sibling to play with - she’s obsessed with babies right now! Being a name nerd doesn’t help me either lol, I keep thinking of sibling names.
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I just thought I’d respond since I’m an only child.

I think all the reasons you listed are valid and thoughtful about your reasoning. In the end there is no right or wrong to this choice anyway, everyone does what’s best for them and it’s clear you have thought this out to fit your own famalies needs which is the most important factor.

From my own personal perspective I was a very lonley child. My parents worked and I spent my life at babysitters and after care programs until I was old enough to be by myself. My parents weren’t very interactive parents so I played with all the latest toys by myself. My friends loved coming over to my house for this reason and also because there wasn’t a sibling to bug or interrupt play time. Vacations were the worst as I was all alone in the back seat of the car or in the hotel room. I ended up reading a lot which cultivated a life long love of books which I can’t say is a bad thing at all. Everyones experiences shape their opinions and I should note that I currently have 3 kids of my own with one more on the way. We want what we didn’t have and I wanted companionship, noise, and just the energy that comes from a larger family. I would have traded all my toys in a heartbeat if I had had someone else to play with. In the end I did get a lot of the perks of being an only child, toys, a car, college paid in full, etc and I’m grateful for that for sure. I just knew in the end it wasn’t the life I had wanted so I went and did the opposite when I had my chance. I know a lot of only kids who loved their childhoods and I think if you as a parent are concious in filling in the gaps that onlies need in companionship, learning a lot of social norms, etc it will be a wonderful childhood for your daughter. Best wishes in whatever choice you choose.

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