Opinions about keeping the name secret

My whole family has always kept the baby’s name a secret until the day they’re born. I kind of want to buck this tradition, because I’m loving the name we’ve chosen, and I want others to know it as well. What are the pros and cons of telling the name before they meet baby?

  • Mother of {soon-to-come} [name]Vera[/name] [name]Penelope[/name] [name]Jackson[/name]

I love the name you picked, I can see why you are excited to share!

We have always kept our final name choice secret until baby arrives, but we have shared our lists with family to get opinions.

The advantage to waiting is you won’t get a bunch of different opinions why you should or shouldn’t use that name. I also love having some kind of surprise to reveal when baby is born. Making your family sit in anticipation is fun :wink: . To me it isn’t as exciting when everyone knows not only the gender of the baby, but the name, too. We had a lot of fun calling family and telling them “It is indeed a girl…and her name is —” It made her entry into our family a little more exciting for everyone.

I’ve heard of it going both ways, with either choice.

The nightmare scenario with sharing the name is that people will hate it and try to talk you out of it. This is very unlikely to happen if you wait until after the birth to announce the name. When the baby is not here yet, people will see a name choice as an option, as opposed to a solid decision - a “speak now or forever hold your peace” moment.

If you don’t share it now, the downside is only that if everyone loves it (and that’s a big IF), you’ll have fun calling the baby that publicly before the birth. That’s about it.

For me, knowing that my taste in names is non-traditional, I wouldn’t want to risk telling people and having them try to talk me out of it, or worse, make me feel badly about my choice. Personally, I have chosen to keep not only the name, but the gender a secret - which will be made even easier if we decide to let the gender be a surprise to us as well.

On the flip side, the two women I’ve known who’ve shared baby’s name before the birth lately have stuck with it. I don’t know if anyone’s given them grief about it, but obviously it wasn’t enough to change their mind.

There are many, many, many threads on this topic, but here’s one currently being discussed:

If you love it, dont tell them. Someone could say one little thing-maybe it wont even be negative, but it will make you second guess for the rest of your pregnancy and make you miserable. Keep your peace of mind and the bond you have with your daughter by already knowing her name and keep it a secret. Then if anyone has any opinions once shes born (which they better not) you will be able to look at her and know its her name and it fits and you dont care what anyone thinks.

In my family we like to keep an open conversation about the name until the baby is born. [name]Even[/name] if a name has already been decided on. My mom decided what my baby brother was going to be a few months into her pregnancy and bought a monogrammed diaper bag. That was the only hint we got, I thought it was fun. Other people in the family like to throw the real name into conversation, and some like to throw out names completely opposite of what they are considering (my uncle told everyone my cousin [name]Adele[/name] was going to be Morgynne or [name]Ashleigh[/name]) My cousin’s wife decided to buck this and announced her final choice as soon as she found out the gender…we spent the next few months trying to talk her out of it (mostly because she named her [name]Brooke[/name] and they have a nature last name, so she kind of sounds like a location. Also she refused to used and honoring MN even though everyone else in the family has one). However; she is head strong and stuck with it. Anyway, it’s up to you. There are always going to be people who won’t like it, but chances are more will. I have to admit, it is more exciting wondering who is coming and making guesses.

I think it depends on how set you are with this name. I told my mother the names we picked out for our next baby, and she hates them. I don’t really mind, because they are the names were are going to use and nothing will change that, but it is disconcerting to have someone hate the name you love. Everyone may love the name you picked, but it’s not certain.